stop me now

LegacyUser

Hi everyone Im a big boards user so Im going unreged for this its going to be long so be preped.

Im on a downward spiral and even though im trying in my head to stop it, nothing is working, so far ive drank a bottle of whiskey every night in a pub for the last 14 days, I can afford it but its killing me, I dont feel like an alcoholic Im just bored every night and need to leave my house. I dont have hobbies that you can do every day and dont have the self esteem to join a gym etc. I think I have depression but f22k im not a doctor and those websites that tell you you do are s99t. I just wish i could meet a nice girl to settle down with as I have been screwed so many times before, my last relationship ended because the green eyed monster came out in me. I hate myself for it but cant stop it my ex cheated on me just before I proposed to her that really got to me, I ve tried counselling for this but that was a waste of time for me as I cant/wont realase my emotions( maybe its a macho thing) I dont know what Im asking for here but hopefully in the morning when I wake and log in someone can help me.
Thanks guys and gals

Victor

Everytime you want to go to the pub, go to the cinema instead. It'll be cheaper and less harsh on your brain, liver and heart. If you are feeling depressed, alcohol won't help.

who007

1. Quit drink for one month.. make it a goal and decide that even if it doesn't work at the end you will have done one thing yuo set your mind to.

2. Get outdoors. Get some exercise. Walk, run, cycle or swim.

3. Reassess in a month.

4. If nothing else you may feel more inclined to see a doctor.

5. Don't let another week go by without doing something about this!


PS - it's not gonna be the easiest thing to do in the world but you would be surprised how much your feeling of self worth will grow

r3nu4l

1. Go to a doctor and get a diagnosis
2. Find a hobby, take up painting, bowling, join a reading group at your local library, go for long drives in the evening.
3. Try a different counsellor, some you click with, some you don't.
4. Go to the Non-Drinkers forum, read, join any events they are doing. Suggest some events yourself.
5. Get some sort of treatment for your depression, whether it's tablets or cognitive behavioural therapy or whatever.

Good luck, depression is bitch. I'm not an alcoholic but at one time in my life I badly abused alcohol for months on end. The night always started with 4 pints and then I'd have 12-14 double vodkas. I did that 5-6 nights a week for about 7 months These days I'm not bothered if I drink or not and drink about twice a month and enjoy it moderately when I do. The difference between now and then?? I no longer feel that life is going down the pan.

Also, you don't have to join a gym or even leave the house to get fit Go to the fitness forum and ask about bodyweight exercises and freeweight workouts. Order the stuff online if you are afraid of someone thinking "Look at tubby buying the fitness gear" in a shop. Buy a fitness DVD for cardiovascular work. Davina McCall or something...at least you'll enjoy watching it :D

Talk to someone, that's always a help! Don't give in to the booze. It's not your friend, not an enemy either, just something that has to be watched in case it turns on you

who007

r3nu4l wrote: »

Also, you don't have to join a gym or even leave the house to get fit Go to the fitness forum and ask about bodyweight exercises and freeweight workouts. Order the stuff online if you are afraid of someone thinking "Look at tubby buying the fitness gear" in a shop. Buy a fitness DVD for cardiovascular work. Davina McCall or something...at least you'll enjoy watching it :D

No, but the fresh air would help a lot. Agree thoroughly with everything else in the post though!
Off home now to bed.

Look after yourself!

LegacyUser

Get a hold of Tony Robbins PERSONAL POWER II.

It is a 30 day program you do yourself, consisting of listening to audio and then exercises. Takes a short time every day.

I really think this would be of great benefit to your situation.

hussey

No girl will want a guy who drinks a bottle of whiskey in a pub.

Either you realise that, or continue hoping.

At the end of the day you and only you have to power to change.

Karen_*

You won't find the answers in the bottom of a bottle. Start to love yourself and beleive that you're worth it. Do things like excersise and meet up with friends. People can advise but you have to help them to help you.

Make a decision that your bad treatment in the past is not going to ruin your future. We all meet people who hurt us. Do they deserve a place in the present and future? They really don't you know.

Curlypinkie

My own treatment for days when I'm down, instead of sitting at home and feeling sorry for my self or in the pub looking at the beer mat, I go out to walk. I walk as quick as I can, breath in the fresh air, try to look around me. at nature at people, try to find the beauty in things. Everyone you pass on your way are just minding their own business. No one will question the fact you're there walking.

If it's raining or if it's cold just put on warm clothes and go anyway. Especially rain is actually great when you feel a bit down. A tad melodramatic, but yes, it washes you down, both inside and out;)

Try it. Instead of hitting the lovely JD or whatever tonight, walk. For 3 hours or more if needed be. Just bring some cash for the taxi or the bus. I sometimes end up lost, lol.

CapnMark

Curlypinkie wrote: »

My own treatment for days when I'm down, instead of sitting at home and feeling sorry for my self or in the pub looking at the beer mat, I go out to walk. I walk as quick as I can, breath in the fresh air, try to look around me. at nature at people, try to find the beauty in things. Everyone you pass on your way are just minding their own business. No one will question the fact you're there walking.

If it's raining or if it's cold just put on warm clothes and go anyway. Especially rain is actually great when you feel a bit down. A tad melodramatic, but yes, it washes you down, both inside and out;)

Try it. Instead of hitting the lovely JD or whatever tonight, walk. For 3 hours or more if needed be. Just bring some cash for the taxi or the bus. I sometimes end up lost, lol.

Worked for me too.

Start to appreciate the beauty in little things.

05D

Do you mind me asking what age you are?

I had trouble with my OH drinking. Got him a racing bike now he goes cycling every evening, then comes home and has a shower watches a bit of telly then off to bed.

Maybe also a pet / dog could help something to look after and all that..............

MugMugs

I am kinda in the exact same boat as you pal..

Came out of a relationship with a future and I am kind of in a dizzy spell now wondering what I do from here....

Go walking.... No iPod, No Walkman just you and yer runners... ( maybe some pants too )

I started doing it last week and I come home, have a cuppa and go to bed and sleep like a baby over it. I am also in better form in work which means I am getting on with more people and so on... It lets you push all those bad thoughts out of your head... You can get angry on your walk, depressed whatever you want but by the time you get home you are more or less fine ! Try it

Stay away from the pub mate and dont be necking Whiskey... Your stomach wont hold out for too long.

Take up a sport. Join a club. Educate yourself ! Even go and play World of Warcraft if you really have to just dont let them block you against a wall so you can escape !

dazberry

I have found walking really good too. Having been on the verge of loosing what few marbles I have to workplace stress - I have found that going out and walking has been really good - both mentally and physically. I try to get in an hour a day - and I push myself to walk hard, the days I feel too tired I just walk a little slower or just do 50 minutes.

I listen to music as I walk, sometimes its great for pushing the pace and somethings I'm lost in it - but sometimes I don't hear it because my mind wanders off and its almost as if I "teleport" parts of the walk and there's time if I'm tired and its a chore but I keep going. I find it great "me" time - to be out thinking about things - not just sitting around being p1ssed off.

D.

Miss Fluff

+1 on the walking front, great way of clearing cobwebs

35notout

05D wrote: »

Maybe also a pet / dog could help something to look after and all that..............

Only consider a dog if you have the time to look after it (but if you have time for the pub then you should)
They really are great companions and will give you the push you need to go for the walks that other posters have suggested.

dog = walking = fitness = not more pub = much better outlook on life imo

Reesy

35notout wrote: »

dog = walking = fitness = not more pub = much better outlook on life imo

+1 and also having a creature to look after keeps you focussed. Also, the affection from a dog's great I think... as long as you can handle the responsibility right now.

+1 on the getting outside & walking too.

marzic

you need to try stop drinking like that for a start, its obvious you are in pain but trying to ease it like this wont work, your mind will brake before your body does! get professional help dude, getting your head straight before you try anything else is key, everybody here is trying to help you but you need a therapist of some kind who will help you find your way out of the maze of sh1t you feel yourself in. Do you have a real friend who you can tell how you are feeling? a therapist is necessary, but mightnt answer the phone at 6am on a sunday morning. you need to tell someone how you are feeling, out loud, not just on a keyboard. Have you got someone like that? if not try the samaritans 1850 60 90 90, jo@samaritans.org

Shantih

The great thing is that you made the first step (okay i know that sounds cheesy but bare with me) by admitting your feelings. Even just to the people here. Scrolling down through the replies, no one was horrified or thought that you were a freak because of what you were feeling. In fact some people empathised with you.

As for the 'macho' thing I think that this is a really crippling problem among men in Ireland today. Personally, I have learned that it is actually braver and shows more strength to admit to someone that you need help, rather than keeping it inside and letting it destroy you. I will admit, talking to someone about the things you never want to tell anybody is so hard, but surely it is better than letting those same things ruin the rest of your life?

Another thing I have learnt is that people really do care. And I bet that you have at least one family or friend who cares about you, even if at this moment you think you don't. Look the kind responses people have given you here on this page. Strangers. They don't want you to do anything to harm yourself.

Lastly, about the girl thing. It is good that you want someone who you can share your time with. From my recent experiences it just seems that the men that I have met - even though we get on really well - just want sex at the end of the day. Looking at my single friends I know that there are so many great girls out there who will like you for who you are. The jealously thing, even though painful, is something that you will have to work on someday.

But maybe just try one thing at a time for now. Talk to a doctor who you feel comfortable with, who will listen to you. They will have some good suggestions.

And remember, speak to someone! It is a great sign of strength that you want to fight this and take back control of your life!

Best of luck!