crap at making friends

LegacyUser

I'm not really great at making friends, especially close friends. I do like to spend time by myself. My longest friendship spans 14 years, but even now we are growing apart. I expect this as we are adults now, but I make the effort and show an interest in her life whereas it's blindly obvious she doesn't for me. I have a wonderful boyfriend and I enjoy my course at university. However my closest university friends don't live in my city and return home for the holidays/weekends. I have another friend but they lead a party lifestyle which includes drugs and they also have a moody streak and can get annoyed with me which can go on for days if I have to cancel an arrangement. I would love some close friends that would treat me as I treat them. My boyfriend and family say I'm too 'nice' which is why my above mentioned 'close' friends treat me like this. I think I just needed to rant about this but any advice would be appreciated.

Creamy Goodness

you mention you have a boyfriend so you cant be that bad at making friends.

Do what you did to get your boyfriend obivuously tonng it down on the flirting side. Join some night classes and take it from there

essexgirl

I am having the same problems myself, its a nightmare where are you?

zAbbo

Take a leap of faith and join a club which involves some method of social interaction, more than likely there will be similar people at these.

Sites like Gumtree are pretty handy, especially the Community sections (activities, classes, nightlife etc.)

Boards can be pretty good as well for meet ups, most forums seem to be organising regular drinks or outings.

SarahJ

Wow, I'm like this too. I have a BF, but always seem to be out with his friends. We were in the pub with them a few nights ago, and one asked how come my friends never come, out. I was quite embarrassed, i just had to answer back that I haven't really got many friends. It sounds really pathetic, I had friends in school, but we drifted apart, and my college friends I wouldn't really see anymore, but when I do, they just like drinking and going out to clubs, which is not me at all.

Dinxminx

Me too! Jayz we should have a Ladies Beers. Or am I a bit late on the bandwagon for that?

Creamy Goodness

Dinxminx wrote: »

Me too! Jayz we should have a Ladies Beers. Or am I a bit late on the bandwagon for that?

here ya go: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055211364&page=33

they used to meet up fairly regularly if i can remember; alas they've seemed to culled it for a bit, perhaps you should re-ignite it.

sunnyside

SarahJ wrote: »

i just had to answer back that I haven't really got many friends.

Next time say that when college finished your friends moved away so now you don't see them as much and because you've been spending all your free time with (insert boyfriends name) you haven't had a chance to meet anyone else.

Which is probably the truth anyway:)

SarahJ

It is the truth. I don't blame him or anything, but the truth is I'd always have rather been with him than them, I never felt any of them really cared bout me, ya know?

LegacyUser

SarahJ wrote: »

Wow, I'm like this too. I have a BF, but always seem to be out with his friends. We were in the pub with them a few nights ago, and one asked how come my friends never come, out. I was quite embarrassed, i just had to answer back that I haven't really got many friends. It sounds really pathetic, I had friends in school, but we drifted apart, and my college friends I wouldn't really see anymore, but when I do, they just like drinking and going out to clubs, which is not me at all.

Yup I feel exactly like this. Thanks everyone for your replies

jellie

SarahJ wrote: »

It is the truth. I don't blame him or anything, but the truth is I'd always have rather been with him than them, I never felt any of them really cared bout me, ya know?

i dont mean to be harsh but maybe this is where youre going wrong.

yes your bf is going to be one of the most important people in your life but you cant make him everything, because what happens if something goes wrong? you need a balance.

you say you never felt any of them really cared about you, but maybe they realised that they always came second place to your boyfriend. if my friend would rather be somewhere else when she was with me then i wouldnt be particularly bothered with her.