Darwin Awards 2008

patmac · 14-08-2008 7:57pm #1

Didn't know where to put this so mods please move to appropriate forum. Not sure if true I'm sure somebody will find out.
Without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin Awards.

Eighth Place

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after
squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car
keys.

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he
ran,' accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from
the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the
bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the
beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach
him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle
shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had
placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as
he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said
he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the
trigger.

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a
man walked into H & J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.
The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the
counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and
fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly
returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber
was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators
located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed
23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
else was hurt. (I think this is one of those "Only in America" ones)

HONOURABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M.
so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would
happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they
knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of
traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the
walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge
they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had
continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied
the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never
located.

AND THE WINNER IS...

Zookeeper, Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany), fed his constipated
elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got
relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer
force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the
ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate
200 pounds of dung on top of him.

Jesus Wept · 14-08-2008 8:04pm

patmac wrote: »

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said
he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the
trigger.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M.
so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would
happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they
knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of
traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the
walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge
they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had
continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied
the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never
located.

These are all stupider than the winner.
How do they grade it? Most stupid or most hilarious?

Eighth Place

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after
squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car
keys.

Yea it's possible to drown in a couple of inches of water.

I feel bad for some of these people, it could happen to any of us.... kind of, maybe.

Wreck · 14-08-2008 8:10pm

patmac wrote: »

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle
shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had
placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as
he hit the floor.

Why is this one in there? It's just an everyday accident.