Someone else's man...

LegacyUser

Ok here is my story please don't judge ..

I'm out of a long term relationship about 9 months now, we had a lot of problems and ahd been through a couple of tragedies together and we just couldn't weather the storm so it took me some time to come to terms with the end of it and to move on. I am a fairly attractive person and I had met a lot of guys in the mean time but had no interest what so ever... that is until recently.

I met a guy through a mutual friend and we really hit it off, I was instantly attracted to him and I knew that he liked me. My friend then burst the bubble by telling me he is in a relationship so I tried to just forget about it. Since then we kept bumping into each other more and more, and inevitably one night we kissed. I felt really bad about it the next day but as soon as I got a call from him all of the guilt disappeared. We been texting constantly and flirting alot since. I've met him out with his girlfriend a couple of times and we still haven't been able to keep our eyes off each other. He has asked me to meet him a couple of times and I've made my excuses but I know the next time we are both in the right place at the right time I won't be able to resist.

I know its wrong, but I've never been so attracted to somebody before. The thing is it is just pure and utter lust... I don't want anything more from him.

My dillema is should I just give in and get it out of our systems? I don't want anyone to get hurt, I don't want him to break up with his gf. I would love to just put him out of my mind but we work each other so we see each other all the time. Then there is the danger that I might actually develop feelings if we spent any real time together...and then I would end up getting hurt.

What do I do... I want him so badly that just forgetting it is not an option....

Beruthiel

Other Woman wrote: »

My dillema is should I just give in and get it out of our systems?

Sure you should. What difference does it make if he's already with someone?
Isn't it her tough luck for picking a bloke who has no respect for her or cares for her feelings. She deserves to have her life turned upside down.

I don't want anyone to get hurt, I don't want him to break up with his gf.

I don't believe you. If you don't want to hurt anyone and you don't want them to break up then you wouldn't be comtemplating what you are right now.

What do I do... I want him so badly that just forgetting it is not an option....

What happened to self control?
What happened to your self respect?
What happened to acting like an adult?
Delete his phone number and tell him not to interact with you anymore.
Move job if you cannot manage that.

SarahJ

Ok first of all, don't be the that type of person, the one that you hate, and everyone else hates.

Whats his relationship with his gf like? I mean, have they been together long? And what kind of guy is he to actually be able to do this while he is with someone? Its quite sickening if he has been with her a long time.

AnonoBoy

Other Woman wrote: »

Since then we kept bumping into each other more and more, and inevitably one night we kissed.

Inevitably? Nah - a kiss is not inevitable. You could have avoided kissing him. Just the same way you can avoid sleeping with him.

By your admission all you want is a shag and nothing more. That's pretty low that you'd consider getting it off a taken man. At least if you wanted to go out with him you'd have some manner of justification. But you don't. You just want a shag - find some other attractive guy to get your rocks off with. Why complicate matters by shagging a guy that you know full well is taken. You'll just end up looking like a complete bitch.

My advice - walk away. If he becomes single then he's fair game. Until then - hands off, have your fun elsewhere.

smares

If he is with someone already then back off. If it was the opposite way around and he was your boyfriend would you want some girl so see him. If he will cheat on his girlfriend with you then he would cheat on you if you got together and if your that attractive you should not have a problem finding your own man!!

Claire121

Actually, forgetting it IS an option, and is the option taken by anyone who isn't a selfish, self centered person who has no respect for anyone else's feelings.

Karen_*

Your break up took you time to come to terms with. Don't give another woman something to come to terms with. No good is going to come of this. do the decent thing and stop texting him, delete his number. Because what goes around comes around and you don't want Karma hindering your future happiness and success.

pug_lover

Beruthiel, get off your high horse.

If no-one finds out...then no-one gets hurt & to think of advising someone to leave a job over something so trivial is ludicrous... you have heard of the current recession haven't you???

My thoughts on the subject are:

This relationship he is in obviously isn't very important to him, He has a responsibility to his girlfriend, you don't. I would go for it, but if you feel like you might fall for him then think seriously because you could get hurt

SarahJ

pug_lover wrote: »

Beruthiel, get off your high horse.

If no-one finds out...then no-one gets hurt & to think of advising someone to leave a job over something so trivial is ludicrous... you have heard of the current recession haven't you???

My thoughts on the subject are:

This relationship he is in obviously isn't very important to him, He has a responsibility to his girlfriend, you don't. I would go for it, but if you feel like you might fall for him then think seriously because you could get hurt

She could go for it, if she really wanted to. But somehow if it did come out, I can see her coming across as the slut or homewrecker. I know this is sad, as she has no loyalties to the gf, but this is the way things turn out most of the time

Wurly

OP, you know the answer to you own question!

This man is attached. Stay well clear.

You are in control of yourself - your actions and your thoughts.

You don't want anyone to get hurt - well if you pursue this, how is that possible??

You will develop feelings most probably. So you will get hurt. And what about the innocent party in all of this - his girlfriend??

Don't mix in his social circles until you get over this or find someone new.

This has disaster written all over it and you know it!

pug_lover

SarahJ wrote: »

She could go for it, if she really wanted to. But somehow if it did come out, I can see her coming across as the slut or homewrecker. I know this is sad, as she has no loyalties to the gf, but this is the way things turn out most of the time

I think that is a very old fashioned view to take..... I wouldn't consider her a slut.

Karen_*

She might not have any loyalties to the girlfriend but I don't have loyalties to the man who sweeps the street, does that mean its ok to run him over?

pug_lover

Karen_* wrote: »

She might not have any loyalies to the girlfriend but I don't have loyalties to the man who sweeps the street, does that mean its ok to run him over?

mmm such a good comparison

SarahJ

Karen_* wrote: »

She might not have any loyalties to the girlfriend but I don't have loyalties to the man who sweeps the street, does that mean its ok to run him over?

Umm, I don't even know how to answer this, seems totally off topic.

pug_lover wrote: »

I think that is a very old fashioned view to take..... I wouldn't consider her a slut.

Being in a long term relationship myself, I would consider a slut, because she knows the guy has a girlfriend. If she didn't know, different story

Wurly

pug_lover wrote: »

mmm such a good comparison

The point that's being made is possessing basic human decency.

Going after someone else's man is not decent. Never will be. 30 years ago, today or 30 years from not.

It's plain wrong.

Beruthiel

pug_lover wrote: »

Beruthiel, get off your high horse.

I checked out the IP address of the OP, the only other person on that IP is pug_lover, leading me to believe that pug_lover here has decided to log out and troll this forum.
pug-lover banned.
B