HELP ! some advice needed

LegacyUser

I’m in a new relationship and so far things are going well except for one thing! And yes you’ve guessed it its bedroom related. Our sex life is great but my boyfriend has trouble climaxing. It gets more complicated though as if I give him oral sex there isn’t an issue! It’ll take a while but eventually he climaxes! Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

LegacyUser

These things confuse me too......

I thought men liked it when women were tighter and less ....ahem.....wet, but there recently, sorry in advance, I was quite wet and I apologised to the other half and he pipes up "oh no -I prefer it like this" but to my mind he was going a bit soft at the time, so I was left guessing....what am I doing wrong......Is he being polite or what?

He says one thing but his m1ckey says another!!!

Help men!!!

LegacyUser

I agree these things are confusing. My B/F can't explain it either which makes things even harder. Just wondering are there any males out there with a similar problem and if they have managed to "fix" it. Either way both of us are happy with our sex life I would just prefer to fix this ahem little problem. What happens in the future if we decide to start a family lol

RossFixxxed

Hi there,

Is he circumcised? Does he find it easy to do himself (and he may be ahem.. over practised himself and not enough sexually)?

Try a few different positions, try a few things, it might be a little mechanical but practice makes perfect and it could be a lot of fun

You could try taking 'breaks' from the main act and throw in a few different things to get him over the line as it were.

Confused too: you're doing nothing wrong, you don't want sandpaper surely!! There's a reason lubes sell so well! Mr Durex and Ms Ky make their money for a reason!

I'd also normally say to spice it up, maybe get a bit kinky, but not in a new relationship yet, might give wrong impression... (up to you really) and there could be an issue of nerves or feelign awkward... I mean even apologising might make the guy feel awkward or that he's doing something wrong?

Talk it out though, it might be a bit awkward and might lead to a... softening... of things but it's better to be open and to experiment.

Good luck, enjoy!
R

Looby_Loo

I would say for you both to try and relax, take lots of time at it, experiment with different positions and have fun. Unless there is a medical problem (pretty unlikely) it will work out sooner or later and all the better when it does.

biko

I remember reading somewhere about something called new partner syndrome, that there is so much pressure in the start of the relationship he can't "perform". Don't worry about it - the more fuzz you make, the more stressed he gets.

edit http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/performanceproblems/sexwithanewpartner

05D

I would just relax and let it fizzle out.

I went through this at the start of the relationship i'm in now. It was a weekend relationship at first so we would always have a roll on sat, but for the first few months he never climaxed on sat night but always on sun morning.

If you act like you are really enjoying it and you are really turned on and climax as normal, don't make his problem an issue it will just happen. Make him feel like a stud and he will be one! :P

LegacyUser

Op,
I wouldn't worry bout your situation. its a new relationship. When myself and my boyfriend started going out first.... there was a little issue of him going soft... he would get really upset because he said that it never happened him before.... I could see how much this was getting to him so I told him to relax.. I could see how nervous and tense he was everytime.... after a time he became move relaxed around me and then our sex life became brilliant..... but it was the nervousness that issue.... You will find as time goes on there won't be an issue...

All the best

LegacyUser

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Hi there,

Is he circumcised? Does he find it easy to do himself (and he may be ahem.. over practised himself and not enough sexually)?

Try a few different positions, try a few things, it might be a little mechanical but practice makes perfect and it could be a lot of fun

You could try taking 'breaks' from the main act and throw in a few different things to get him over the line as it were.

Confused too: you're doing nothing wrong, you don't want sandpaper surely!! There's a reason lubes sell so well! Mr Durex and Ms Ky make their money for a reason!

I'd also normally say to spice it up, maybe get a bit kinky, but not in a new relationship yet, might give wrong impression... (up to you really) and there could be an issue of nerves or feelign awkward... I mean even apologising might make the guy feel awkward or that he's doing something wrong?

Talk it out though, it might be a bit awkward and might lead to a... softening... of things but it's better to be open and to experiment.

Good luck, enjoy!
R

No he isn't circumcised and I've never asked him about his one on one sessions so to speak...

Thanks for the advice but we are fairly varied in our positions and regularily take breaks from the main act. In fact last night I couldn't even make him climax through oral. I don't say anything to him at at time because I know that could make matters worse

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice and comments but we are two chilled people and that is why this is so confusing for me. I know all of you say that it could be just as it is a new relationship but he has recently told me that it was a problem with his last g/f too and they were together a lot longer. I am starting to worry in case it is something medical. Last night was a bit of a disaster too because I couldn't even make him climax through oral sex!!!!