Alcoholic bf off drink...need things to do??

belltinker

Hi;
Basically story is, my boyfriend is off the drink for bout 3 months now!
He's geting on great and doesn't miss the drink at all...but we take every day as it comes!! The prob we have at the moment is him finding hobbies/things to do on his day off and at night after work(filling the gap as such)! Before his days and nights would have been filled by going to the pub! He has no interest in sport, says his job is physical enough-which is fair enough!! So need idea's please..so grateful for response's!!

biko

This forum is dedicated to non drinking so there should be a lot of info there.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1015
Best of luck to your bf btw!

Bubs101

If he actually is a true alcholic, you should talk to his friends and ask them maybe to have one night a week that doesn't involve drinking. Maybe Poker or something

Signpost

Project car if hes into that kinda thing. Not a mad drinker so spend endless hours working on my baby! Not everyone's cup of tea i know but if ya have a passion ya wont notice the hours flying by!

mbren

Hey OP,

I know you said your bf isn't sporty, but golf is a great pass time for days off because it takes up alot of time and is a very sociable kind of sport where he could meet new people. You don't need to be too sporty to enjoy golf either which is good!

As Tin Cup said, golf and sex are the only 2 things you don't have to be good at to enjoy!!

Other than that, he could take up some sort of an evening course in an area that interests him. Maybe look into addiction counselling or something like that. I know recovering alcoholics that have done similar things. This really helped their sobriety along as it made them feel like they were making a difference.

Hope you find this useful. Best of luck and congratulations to your boyfriend for doing so well. Also, fair play to you for standing by him!

belltinker

yes..he sure is! Alcholic family, grew up in the pub did!!
He has jumped out windows at 7 in morning to get drink...
compulsive liar, lied to both me and family, has fairly handy job for last 14 years earning savage money...he has nothing to show for it, becuase worked out he has spent more than 25k a year on drink sometime nearly 1500 in two weeks! He checked himself into rehab right about 3 months, twas successful so far! Over the years he has seperated himself from his peers, they grew up- got proper jobs and family! So they drifted apart cos he really wasnt a good influence! Also his so called "friends" are more his drinking buddies and a whole lot older than him, so he has to stay away from them, from the area he drank in and even his own mother- he cant talk to her or see her if she has drink taken. Which is rarely as she is also ancholic...Becuase of the drink he's never had a driving licence...so he's working on theroy test at the moment! And addiction is addiction he can easily become additcted to gambling/drugs!!

r3nu4l

What about tenpin bowling? Most bowling alleys (not all) in Ireland don't have a bar so there's no temptation. Joining a bowling league would mean that he'd be out of the house at least one night a week and you could join a beginners league together as a mixed doubles team. It's a bit of fun, social too as you play against other teams and it's also not too physical so he shouldn't have any worries there

05D

Maybe a pet, like a dog or something he would need to take out and walk every evening?

Karen_*

Well to begine with AA meetings would occupy some of his time as well as give him the support he needs.

Learning to drive would be another thing to do and it would be an acheivement. Going for walks will help clear his head and as for more social then why not join something? There must be something he's interested in or always wanted to do. Voluntering would be an idea and he'd be meeting other people. things don't happen all at once and I know it's hard but try to keep things simple at the moment.

Aard

Karen_* wrote: »

Well to begine with AA meetings would occupy some of his time as well as give him the support he needs.

2nded.


If his current friends are more like drinking buddies, then making some friends who have no intention of drinking is a must. He'll get that in AA, as well as support for when he runs into trouble.

Wile E. Coyote

How's about swimming or the gym in the evenings after work?

jester77

Playing xbox or playstation is a great way to unwind after a tough day. There are so many different variations of games that there is something to suit everyones taste. Helps keep the mind off other things.

Overheal

belltinker wrote: »

Hi;
Basically story is, my boyfriend is off the drink for bout 3 months now!
He's geting on great and doesn't miss the drink at all...but we take every day as it comes!! The prob we have at the moment is him finding hobbies/things to do on his day off and at night after work(filling the gap as such)! Before his days and nights would have been filled by going to the pub! He has no interest in sport, says his job is physical enough-which is fair enough!! So need idea's please..so grateful for response's!!

Honestly If he can sit and browse boards for a bit theres plenty here to help him find something that will pique his interest. I for one am an avid fanboi of mustard and I didnt realise until I met boards.ie

Jigsaw

If he has an addictive personality, then perhaps embrace an addiction that is harmless, such as going to the gym. With all that drinking he is probably not in the best shape. He could really immerse himself in the gym thing and get well buff. Complete lifestyle change etc. There would be plenty tips in the fitness forum.

Auldloon

Flyfishing is my addiction. If he got into that then the next step is flytying which can be done in the house at night.

LegacyUser

Surfing.... it means heading away for weekends and it's not sport as such - there's nothing competitive about it, it's just you and the waves..... great way to spend hours getting fit, getting fresh air and feeling good. It is addictive though - but in a good way.

Hill walking - again, not really sport but you get outdoors and it takes up a day of your weekend.

I've given up drink before (not an alcoholic or heavy drinker) and what I noticed was the amount of spare time I had at weekends while not hungover.

Cinema, evening classes.........

faceman

Overheal wrote: »

Honestly If he can sit and browse boards for a bit theres plenty here to help him find something that will pique his interest. I for one am an avid fanboi of mustard and I didnt realise until I met boards.ie

Overheal beat me to it on this one! You can get plenty of ideas for activies etc by just browsing the different forum on boards.ie!

As someone else already said, the AA is a great outlet you can meet similar minded people

MagicMarker

Bubs101 wrote: »

If he actually is a true alcholic, you should talk to his friends and ask them maybe to have one night a week that doesn't involve drinking. Maybe Poker or something

While it's a good idea to get his friends to agree to at least one night a week doing something that is non alcoholic, i'm not sure it's a good idea to introduce someone with an addictive personality to something like gambling.