older guy

Quirkyduck

Hi...
Im 18 nad have recently fallen for a 22 year old, it happened while we were working together constantly for 3 weeks . We really hit it off and I fell for him straight away. He was however flirting with another girl and it was only at the end of the course that he showed interest in me.
After the course we kept up contact and have emailed the whole summer long as both of us were travelling abroad. The emails were telling each other that we liked each other but pondering if it would work out and then realising that we need to get to know each other still and will have to meet up when were both back. Im home now and he's coming home today. We have arranged to meet this weekend and spend the weekend together. I recently found out that before he left he had met up with the other girl instead of me and when I asked he admitted it and was very apologetic stating it wasnt right to do it but he did, I dont think anything happened between them but I beginning to ponder will I get hurt again. He insists the age gap doesnt bother him and he 'hopes to grow to love me in time'. All this seems very positive but how does the mind of a 22 year old work and is he only in it fir sex? Although at times he didnt do th right thing the killing thing is that Im mad about him...he's that ideal guy you have in your head and I havnt stopped thinking about hm th whole summer!!! Any view??? Any 22 year old men with opinions?

Signpost

erm 22 and 18 aint exactly d older guy thing... I was expectin 16 and 47 or something. TBH we all start off to have d craic with a gal. Den one catches ya off guard and you end up happy. Were simple creatures really. Take it as it comes and dont read too much into it is my opinion!

Dirty_Diesel

22 Vs 18???
I'm 31 and my gf is 21 so I wouldnt' worry about it! Take it one day at a time

Tragedy

He's the ideal guy but met up with the other girl first(after showing interest you) and talks about how he "hopes to grow to love me in time"?

Run a mile away.

loloray

Quirkyduck wrote: »

how does the mind of a 22 year old work and is he only in it fir sex?

It's not that simple honey. I think you're over-thinking this a little. Just meet him when he comes back and see how it goes. He's not the only man in the world.

Signpost

If you run you will smell of sweat and that will hunt who ever ya meet on the other side thou! Why is everyone so strung up on everything having to perfect? Nothing is. Take each day as it comes and let what happens happen. Its life not open heart surgery!

chump

Quirkyduck wrote: »

Hi...
Im 18 nad have recently fallen for a 22 year old, it happened while we were working together constantly for 3 weeks . We really hit it off and I fell for him straight away. He was however flirting with another girl and it was only at the end of the course that he showed interest in me.
After the course we kept up contact and have emailed the whole summer long as both of us were travelling abroad. The emails were telling each other that we liked each other but pondering if it would work out and then realising that we need to get to know each other still and will have to meet up when were both back. Im home now and he's coming home today. We have arranged to meet this weekend and spend the weekend together. I recently found out that before he left he had met up with the other girl instead of me and when I asked he admitted it and was very apologetic stating it wasnt right to do it but he did, I dont think anything happened between them but I beginning to ponder will I get hurt again. He insists the age gap doesnt bother him and he 'hopes to grow to love me in time'. All this seems very positive but how does the mind of a 22 year old work and is he only in it fir sex? Although at times he didnt do th right thing the killing thing is that Im mad about him...he's that ideal guy you have in your head and I havnt stopped thinking about hm th whole summer!!! Any view??? Any 22 year old men with opinions?

That is not something ya say to someone who you are 'fond' of and regard as an equal.

What a crock of sh1t. Did he actually say that?

And you probably jumped with joy?

fkk me, run

biko

He seems to be a bit of a player. Age is nothing here, but maybe his respect for you.

Signpost

I seem to be the only one battling this poor mans corner! Its 18 and 22. There is no commitement. Who cares what has happened. For all u know you could have shagged d pope since he last saw u and he still wants to meet u. From a similar age fella that means he has some bit of interest. I'm not promising marriage here but sure see where it goes! Go mad like... What have ya got to loose.

& no, I am not ur man in question!

ugliest

Quirkyduck wrote: »

He insists the age gap doesnt bother him and he 'hopes to grow to love me in time'.

-that sounds a bit grim...

Been together a few weeks, says he doesn't love you, but hopes he will someday?

At 18, when you're just out of school/still in school, it does seem like the age gap is big, that's because he has so much more life experience than you/is probably out working, earning his own keep/might have his own place or something.

Try not to let things get too serious too quick...

Are you officially a couple? It all seems a bit odd tbh...

Oryx

The way I understand the hopes to love me comment, is that he hasnt really met you since your course, so once he gets home, then you spend time together and see. Which is fair enough. If someone told me they loved me based on only a few emails, thats when Id start running. But only the OP knows the nuances of the situation.

Also, he did mess about a bit with someone else, but rather than seeing that as being unfaithful or something, it could be seen as playing the field which both were entitled to do. Neither had declared undying love or sworn fidelity. Sounds to me like it was more making eyes at each other with nothing definite going on.

So OP, play it by ear, see how it goes when you meet. But to drag your other thread in here... maybe wait before sleeping with him. Doing that too soon, and first time is a recipe for getting really hurt.

MagicMarker

You plan to spend the weekend together? As in, ALL weekend?

Sounds to me like he's keeping you sweet for the weekend.

B00MSTICK

Is it a weekend away somewhere or just meet up at the weekend?

spinandscribble

sounds like he plans a shag weekend. it sounds a bit dodgy and like he was trying to make the other girl jealous but strung you along. hopes to grow to love you? was that his response to you declaring love? it doesn't sound good. keep your eyes open and if this guy is the guy you're planning to lose our virginity to in the other thread, DON'T. not yet anyway.

Lenie

Are you kidding.
This boy is playing you! for sure. no one at 22 lives in hope that they will "grow to love" someone in time.
the age gap is nothing at all. there are people who are perfectly happy in relationships where there is 20 years in the difference, and they love, respect and appreciate each other.
What are you looking for with this boy?
is it a fling or do you want a relationship?

King of Kings

assuming this is linked to your previous thread. I wouldn't be to keen on having him as your first time. I'd leave it.

baglady

18/22 not an older guy thing. I was 17 when I got with my bf who was 22. thats nothing.

minidazzler

I would think from the sound of it he is only in it for sex.

He is not too old for you IMO. But unless you are just in it for sex then don't bother with him.

[/cockblockmode_OFF]

greatgoal

jesus love,youre only 18,get out there and enjoy your life,see the world,travel,make lots of friends,dont be tying yourself to relationships at this stage,that will come with time.are you pursuing a career or working,if yes then concentrate on it,and dont be led astray by puppy love.