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Is the age difference a problem?

  • 11-08-2008 2:03pm
    #1
    snaggy40
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭


    I am with my boyfriend only a month but this morning we were talking about my friends party and I told him he was invited. He said I am with you, not your friends.I was a bit puzzled at this because a week ago he asked me to go to his friends party. I am 23 and he is 32 not sure if that has anything to do with.He has met my friends before and likes them so I don't really get this any suggestions?


Comments

  • #2
    Hansel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 176 ✭✭Hansel


    Sounds to me that he lied to you about liking your friends.
    That attitude of i'm with you and not your friends doesn't sound all that great though and i foresee a lot of problems for you. If he doesn't socialise with your friends at all, ever, you're gonna have some trouble.


  • #3
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    I say you ask him what the problem is. Sounds like miscommunication to me. Did he say he didn't want to go to the party or hang out with your friends? If you would like him to go along then ask him. If he says no then find out why and go from there. Seems a bit too up in the air at the moment.

    I wouldn't jump to the 'age being a problem' conclusion unless he specifically says that they're too young for him to hang out with.


  • #4
    SpookyDoll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 533 ✭✭✭SpookyDoll


    The cheeky monkey, ask him to explain himself immediately and tell him whats good for the Goose is good for the Gander.

    Make it clear to him you will not tolerate double standards.

    If you have to put up with his boring farty old friends talking about pensions and radiohead, then he should have to put up with yours talking about........whatever it is that 22 year olds talk about lol !! :p

    Only kidding but you know what I mean!!!


  • #5
    trio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭trio


    Well the good news is it's nothing to do with the age difference.....

    The bad news is that it's only a month into your relationship and already he's trying to avoid your friends!

    If this relationship continues this could be a big hassle for you. You can't lead two entirely seperate social lives, one being with your friends, and one being with your boyfriend. You'll be run ragged, and please none of them.

    And no, having nothing in common with them is no excuse not to go to the party. I have zero in common with my OH's GAA-obsessed friends, yet I still go to their parties. Sure, I glaze over the odd time, but I'm not rejecting them out of hand. They're nice people. I'm sure your mates are nice people too.

    It's called "relationship courtesy" - and right now he's lacking in it.


  • #6
    snaggy40
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭snaggy40


    I said i wanted him to go and he said he did not want to give me a definite answer incase he let me down. He has said this before about my friends but I know he likes them he gets on great with them but I never know what to say to him when he says it because im so shocked


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  • #7
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    I think you're getting hung up on age when it seems he just don't like your friends. Or he might not be happy about going to a party where you'll socialise with your friends and let him sit there.
    We don't know, ask him...


  • #8
    Hansel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 176 ✭✭Hansel


    He's acting the gob****e. He needs to be pulled on it. If you don't he will continue to do this, and as posted above, you'll end up living two completely seperate social lives. He's being completely unfair, and quite frankly the way he said it "i'm dating you, not your friends" is just rude.


  • #9
    snaggy40
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭snaggy40


    ok thanks hansel think your right!


  • #10
    Aurora Borealis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 939 ✭✭✭Aurora Borealis


    Alarms bells shall ring for me in future if my SO takes little or no interest in my cicrle of friends and expects all socialising to be on their terms. It's BS OP and you need to talk to him. Clearly you don't need to be in each others pockets but he has to be willing to meet your friends if it's important to you and vice versa.


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