Alone

LegacyUser

Well, it hit me yesterday that I'm alone. And it hurts.

I had convinced myself that I wasn't. I'm only 20 years old but I feel like I've already met "the one". We went out for a good while but it fell apart. We had an intense relationship. It felt brilliant. I broke up with her because I was afraid of commitment. I now regret it.

I amn't over my ex and I've been hoping to get back with her. I've told her this but she doesn't feel the same. She's found someone else so it's hopeless.

Apart from that, my love life has been devoid of anyone else for a long time. My sex life is ok but all I ever have is flings. I want something with more feeling and longevity.

Yesterday was my mother's wedding. I was so happy for her. My new step-father is a brilliant guy. He suits my mother perfectly. Yesterday, I also saw my brother and my sister for the first time in a while. They are both in serious relationships now. My brother is even engaged. I went to the wedding alone and many people pointed it out.

During the reception, the happy couple had their first dance and, after a few twirls, all the other couples piled on to the dance floor. Watching all my relatives and family friends dancing around in pairs, it hit me: I'm alone.

My brother, who never dances, was convinced to dance by his fiancee. My sister, who hates dancing as well, broke her tradition to dance with her boyfriend. I could see how both couples are very much in love.

In an attempt to cheer myself up, I went out with my friends once the reception ended. I hadn't seen my friends in a bit so I was excited about it. Unfortunately for me (I feel terrible for saying that), two of them have new girlfriends and spent the night chasing them. It was very hard to talk to either of them. This depressed me more. It made me more self-aware and I felt that I was in the way of people having fun.

With my denial now cracking, I don't know what to do. I've never been great at meeting new people and I don't have an awful lot of close friends. I'm just blaming myself for all this. I'm afraid of being alone forever.

Sorry, I just needed to let this all out.

RedXIV

At 20 my friend, i can promise you, you have an anwful lot left of life to live.

You are putting wayyyy too much emphasis on the idea of having a relationship and having it now. I know a few people who actually regretted having a relationship at your age because they felt it hindered their young years. I'm guessing your brother and sister are older than you yes?

If you've been here any length of time, you have probably seen the reply that's coming up now:
Once your happy in yourself, everything else will fall into place.

This is a golden rule at this stage. If you find yourself depressed and unhappy about your situation, this is how you will be percieved. If you change your life around and turn into this happy-go-lucky, confident individual, i PROMISE you, you'll be far more successful in your love life. But it starts with you.

As regards your ex, if she's moved on, you need to let go. And by that i suggest no contact. at all. It's harsh but it's the best way.

Best of luck OP

Red

Stella89

RedXIV wrote: »

Once your happy in yourself, everything else will fall into place.

Best advice you can get .....Breaking up is not a nice time for either person. We've all gone through it, we've all cried and thought it would never end but it does sooner then you'd think .

You should channel all this negative feelings to do something useful like take up a new fitness regime ,buy a new book that you would enjoy , save up for a holiday . Everyday you will begin to feel better again .

Go-Go-Gadget

Im sorry, but you will never get over her fully. Its just how the heart is.

However i can assure you that you wont be alone forever, it just takes one big step to get back into the game, i know it can look like an impossible task but its not as hard as it seems, reach out to a friend you trust and tell him about your lonliness and maybe convince him/her to come out with you on the town and try and meet new people, not just for sex or with the full intention of a relationship, this way things can grow naturally and you wont just end back feeling like this again.


Good luck

zuroph

this is NOT a troll.

read this and remembered this speech from tv earlier on.

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=4n5Mw8UBppE

excuse the slowed down voice etc, i think the message is quite suitable here!

05D

My boyfriend told me last sat after 2 yrs together that he wants to be on his own.

I know deep down he doesn't mean it.

My heart is breaking but he wont talk to me.

How can I make him realise that he is wrong??

RedXIV

I think 05D, you'd be better off starting a new thread. But I'll tell you this anyway, don't presume to know what another person is thinking. people don't usually know what they are thinking themselves, it's sheer folly to KNOW what someone else is thinking. If you want to make him reconsider you, show him what attracted him to you in the first place. Become that girl he wanted to chase. be happy in yourself and you'll be more attractive than you can possible comprehend

05D

Thanks Red, Easier said than done. I live in Dub he in Carlow and he wont ring me or talk to me. Soooo frustrating!

RedXIV

It's only an hour away lass, Personally i'd go down to him. But be warned, if he doesn't agree to meet up, even if he know's you're in carlow, that should be taken as your verdict. He will not be getting back with you if he doesn't have the decency to meet you.

Best of luck regardless

Red

05D

Cheers Red.


I'd love to meet just to give him a bit of a shake! make up wise up!

zuroph

if he does want to be with you why would he say he doesnt???

05D

Because he changed over night. Fri nite we were all in love, sat morning in love then he went to work and came home saying he wanted to be on his own. No warning at all.

Go-Go-Gadget

05D wrote: »

Because he changed over night. Fri nite we were all in love, sat morning in love then he went to work and came home saying he wanted to be on his own. No warning at all.

05D please stick to your own thread, this thread is about the OP's problem

Wibbs

I have to say in 99 times outa 100, there is always a warning, if not a few warnings. At the time you may not see it or admit it, but it's usually there. Unless somebody has a sudden mental ilness they don't do stuff out of the blue like that.

God Of Radio

I can't stand when someone says they "MET THE ONE". There IS no THE ONE! If you can find someone who can put up with you and you can PUT UP WITH THEM, you found one, but never THA ONE. People romanticize that notion way to often for their own good. No one is going to be your SOUL MATE in the romanticized way, so the sooner your come to grips with that the better off you'll be.

zuroph

sounds like he might have been putting a brave face on it for a while. this happens. maybe he just doesnt want to be with you.