How long more do I have to wait? World of pain.

LegacyUser

Hello,
Just to give you abit of history. Depressed for the last few years. No proper relationships with people...girls or lads (I'm a lad). Always losing jobs. Don't go out at weekends.

I failed school. I always found it hard to get on with people in school. Inability to concentrate on activites...books, films. Thus can't do anything I want to do in life such as go out at the weekends and talk to people (because I can't concentrate on what they are saying). I also find it difficult to figure out where I stand on alot of things due to being indecisive and having low self esteem - that doesn't do much for confidence in social situations I tell thee.

Finally I got sick of trying everything in pop psychology books and went to a doctor last year. I found it extremely hard to talk to the doctor about it but I went on anti-d's which didn't help a whole lot and then started counselling - basically a diagnosis of major depressive disorder.

Fast forward a year and I've given up on the counselling and I went off the medication months ago. The only real progress I have made is that I am less self delusional. Those pop psychology books made me lose touch with myself to a certain extent as I didn't have any grounding to work off initally.

I now think it's ADHD I have and I think the reason I get depressed is because everytime I try to do something in life I fail so I don't bother anymore. I went to the doctor recently (she thought it sounded like ADHD) I am going to be seeing a psychiatrist on his referral. Also my whole past since being a small child is full of evidence of ADHD.
I'm really hoping I get the diagnosis fast and get on medication because I know I need it. Life is misery.

So it's been about two weeks since I went to the doctor and I still haven't got the letter with appointment for the psychiatrist. I am on the VHI. How long does this usually take?

Now that all the self delusion is gone and I have started just being what has control over me life is painful. Work is really hard...everybody annoys me, coming home in the evening is incredibly boring. I live with a few lads who never do anything. I would do stuff with them as I kinda know them fairly well and wouldn't ever feel under much pressure with them - doing stuff with them could just make things a little easier.

Everything has just reached a pinnacle it seems and I can't move on until I get this sorted/ diagnosed.

Then the weekends are terrible altogether. I tried to get loads of things to do at the weekends to keep me occupied so I wouldn't be getting bored but I just couldn't be bothered doing them at the weekend because I can't concentrate on them right and because I would rather be out doing stuff with friends. If I was able to go out and do the things I really want then I would be able to come home and do these activites and hobbies that I have created for myself. On there own there just no good.

Anyway has anyone gone through this? Anyone know how long it might take to get diagnosed? How did you cope?

I'm so bored now. I might go for a drive somewhere or something to pass abit of time.

Thanks for reading. Any help or advice is appreciated.

Kevster

Hey buddy,

While reading that, it felt as if I was reading bits and pieces about my own life. I'm 25 now and I never go out, have no core group of friends, hated school, have difficulty concentrating & following instructions, and am also depressed. Tell me, is this you (These are the official symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome):





Social Communication & Understanding

- Difficulties understanding gestures, body language, and facial expressions. - Difficulties making eye contact. - Repetitive speech. - Difficulties expressing themselves especially when talking about emotions. - Anxiety in social situations. - Lack of awareness on what is socially appropriate and thus have difficulty choosing topics to talk about. - Lack of motivation to be social because of difficulties in communicating. Therefore they may not have many friends. - Difficulties in group situations, such as going to the pub with a group of friends. - Finding small talk and chatting very difficult. - Problems understanding double meanings. For example, not knowing when people are teasing you. - Taking what people say very literally.

Imagination

- An obsession with rigid routines and distress if routines are disrupted. - Problems with making plans for the future and having difficulties organising their life. - Problems with sequencing tasks, such that preparing to go out can be difficult.

Secondary / Indirect Symptoms

- Obsessive compulsive behaviours, often severe enough to be diagnosed as

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

- Obsessive interests in just one topic. For example, they might have one subject about which they are extremely knowledgeable in.

- Phobias: Sometimes people with AS are described as having a social phobia but they may also be affected by other common fears such as claustrophobia and agoraphobia.

- Acute anxiety, which can lead to panic attacks.

- Depression and social isolation (This is especially common among adults).

- Clumsiness, often linked to a condition known as Dyspraxia. This includes difficulties with fine motor co-ordination such as difficulties writing neatly as well as problems with gross motor co-ordination such as ungainly movements, tripping, and falling a lot.

LegacyUser

hi op sorry to hear of your distress,yes there are many people suffering the same depression,i have been able to heal myself completly from my depression and self harming issues,anxiety and panic attacks.

basically i believe therer are situations in your past which have brought you to this state of mind you are in and you need to start piece-ing the links together.

I would be careful about wanting to be diagnosed because that will put you in a box and every human being has the power to heal.

I found that the therapy worked-i never went on anti depressants because i was too afraid to-but if you discover the root of your pain you can set yourself free,it is the hard road to take because you have to open yourself up to it,if your young it might be too overwhelming right now and it is important to go at your own pace too.

I also found a lot of answers through self help books,my issues came from the abusive childhood i had,and my parents tried to tell me i was mad when i ousted the abuse-i really felt i was going mad for a while but then i got the help and i started to believe in my truth which set me free.

you have to make a decision now are you comfortable going on anti depressants and believing there is something wrong with you or to do some hard emotional work in therapy.

Any kid that develops adhd has had a difficult enviroment to grow up around-people just dont get depressed from no where or for no reason imo.

LegacyUser

minx69 wrote: »

basically i believe therer are situations in your past which have brought you to this state of mind you are in and you need to start piece-ing the links together.

Sorry it's actually ADHD I think I have which is an actual chemical imbalance which stops your executive functioning working correctly. Executive functioning is the ability to stay focused on tasks. It oversees the ability for a person to monitor there own behaviour by planning and organizing.

minx69 wrote: »

I would be careful about wanting to be diagnosed because that will put you in a box and every human being has the power to heal.

If it's emotional problems yes. I tried counselling and all that. I know how to look at things in a more positive way etc. It just hasn't worked. Besides I think I am a postive person by nature anyway but this thing makes it impossible for me to do anything. That would dampen anyone no matter how postive.

minx69 wrote: »

Any kid that develops adhd has had a difficult enviroment to grow up around-people just dont get depressed from no where or for no reason imo.

I'm not sure it's something you develop. It's something your born with and seems to be genetic aswell.

síofra

Hey,
I'm sorry you feel the way you do right now.If it helps for you to know I have been in the same boat myself for the last few years. I seldom go out at weekends and when I do am socially anxious. Have 2 friends who live far away from me, one in another country and another at the other side of Ireland and even though I am female I have no friends of the same sex. I go to work and return to a lonely flat every night to read, draw or watch films. What keeps me going sometimes is to think well at least I am trying. Nobody's perfect, we are only human. In a perfect world we all would have loads of meaningful relationships, feel good and look good but that would be boring and too easy.Maybe you should have some more compassion and stop labelling yourself because you are more than your problems. Emotional support is what you need right now not medication, a diagnosis or self-help books. You need other people to listen and give a shoulder to cry on and let you say what you want to say. Despite what you may think of yourself, I actually feel that you are a very strong person to endure what you do and I admire that. I don't know what else to say. I hope you are ok and bear in mind that the fact that you continue to face each day despite your troubles, like everyone else on this planet, is something to be proud of.

Marksie

This is not a medical forum.
It is not designed for self diagnosis.
The correct diagnosis of ADHD can only be made by qualified professionals.
Go back to your doctor, get refferals and undergo the relevant examinations.

Self diagnosis is never a good idea as it may lead you to belive you have one thing when in fact its another.

Selfhelp books are only of limited effectivness for the same reason.

LegacyUser

whatthehell wrote: »

Sorry it's actually ADHD I think I have which is an actual chemical imbalance which stops your executive functioning working correctly. Executive functioning is the ability to stay focused on tasks. It oversees the ability for a person to monitor there own behaviour by planning and organizing.




If it's emotional problems yes. I tried counselling and all that. I know how to look at things in a more positive way etc. It just hasn't worked. Besides I think I am a postive person by nature anyway but this thing makes it impossible for me to do anything. That would dampen anyone no matter how postive.





I'm not sure it's something you develop. It's something your born with and seems to be genetic aswell.

There is a whole world out there dealing with mental health issues and there are ways and means to overcome anything,i would never believe there was no way back from healing even the deepest of health issues,crystalizing a belief will make it a reality.

if you do then you have resigned yourself to the fact that you are this way forever,choosing a life of suffering.

there is a huge amount of change taking place in the world with regard to views on how any illness is formed in the body,i believe it is a manifestation of your thoughts,the only thing that is genitic is your thought patterns,if you break that,you can start fresh letting go of the past.

if your not open to change it will not happen,if you firmly believe this is your truth to be a suffer of ADHD,that will be your truth.

you said you tried therapy but it didnt work,therapy isnt about being a positive person its about getting to the root of you,all a therapist is is a guide to self discovery,its a great oppertunity to get insight into the self,

might be a far out concept to take on but this kind of thinking is setting people free and i have come back from years of depression and mental health illness,so i know from experience,amarica has led the way for change in this area we are catching up over this side of the world.

the_syco

OP, take up fishing. You can do it with no social interaction if you choose, you can do it for hours, and at the same time, you're doing something.

LegacyUser

I experience the same problems you do and aforementioned symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome are familiar to me. I have not done anything about what I experience. I am on beta blockers for the anxiety only, they do not help much. Worse still I stammer when talking in formal groups (meetings) or on the phone. Along with everything else, this is hell.

I'm in early 30s and male. In my job people know what I am like, I know they do!. e.g.: I know they avoid passing work on to me or asking my opinion or advice on work stuff. They know I will not understand or make mistakes.

I have absolutely nothing to say to people: talking about sport, friends, books, adventures, films, politics, social life chit-chat, slagging each other etc etc is for others-not me!

I dont think I'm depressed. I am just mentally awkward and mixed up, cant concentrate on anything. Kind of like early alzhiemers, god forbid. I am scared.

OP, just wondering have you an issue with spending money or treating yourself?

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote: »

This is not a medical forum.
It is not designed for self diagnosis.
The correct diagnosis of ADHD can only be made by qualified professionals.
Go back to your doctor, get refferals and undergo the relevant examinations.

Self diagnosis is never a good idea as it may lead you to belive you have one thing when in fact its another.

Selfhelp books are only of limited effectivness for the same reason.

Marksie,
I have gone to a doctor and have got a referral. I was brought to a doctor when I was younger also due to behavourial problems (suspected adhd) and never got diagnosed properly.

The doctor thought it sounded like adhd or aspergers.

LegacyUser

i.pity.u wrote: »

I experience the same problems you do and aforementioned symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome are familiar to me. I have not done anything about what I experience. I am on beta blockers for the anxiety only, they do not help much. Worse still I stammer when talking in formal groups (meetings) or on the phone. Along with everything else, this is hell.

I'm in early 30s and male. In my job people know what I am like, I know they do!. e.g.: I know they avoid passing work on to me or asking my opinion or advice on work stuff. They know I will not understand or make mistakes.

I have absolutely nothing to say to people: talking about sport, friends, books, adventures, films, politics, social life chit-chat, slagging each other etc etc is for others-not me!

I dont think I'm depressed. I am just mentally awkward and mixed up, cant concentrate on anything. Kind of like early alzhiemers, god forbid. I am scared.

OP, just wondering have you an issue with spending money or treating yourself?

Why haven't you done anything??

I know everyone has their own reasons. I only seeked help last year for the first time as I always thought the problem was with me - after trying everything I eventually just went to a doctor which was an extremely difficult thing to do.

Before I went to the doctor I never admitted to myself that their might be something wrong with me. You seem to have got past this stage though?

LegacyUser

I haven't done anything about it because the truth hurts i suppose and i dont want to be diagnosed with anything. I doubt anything can be done for me at this stage.

Never knew aspergers existed until i read your post!

Jack Sheehan

I have to agree with Marksie, get a proper diagnosis from a professional, saying that you have a history of this and the doctor thought it was that does not a diagnosis make. Self Diagnosis is one of the most harmful things you can do to yourself as you may be attacking the wrong problem or going about it the wrong way.

LegacyUser

I feel very forgetful, mixed up, nervous, anxious, easily wold up by myself and others and scared all the time. I cant co-ordinate myself, very awkward. I am also very odd in myself, others see this too. Early 30's male, been like this since I was a boy.

Cant make plans properly, even the smallest of things.

Any cure for aspergers?