Gym Romance - Forbidden?

irishpacker

I need an honest womans opinion on something.

Is it considered OK to ask a girl out in a gym, that you've only ever seen in the gym?

I don't know why, but for some reason I think it would be rather poor form to ask a girl out in a gym environment, it feels like asking someone out at a funeral or something... well not that extreme but you get my point! I always hear girls talking about how they hate guys looking at them in the gym, so like I dont want to create an enemy or something. I only ask because I'm REALLY into this girl I see at the gym all the time, but I'm holding back because it doesn't feel right to approacher her when she's on the treadmill or whatever. I'd be annoyed if it happened vice-versa, but thats just because I'm all work when I'm in the gym, no chit-chat!

Anyway, maybe I'm making something out of nothing, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Cheers!

Zaph

My opinion, just do it, but then again what do I know about gyms?

PI generally specialises in "should I ask him/her out" sort of threads, so I'm moving this over there.

Moved from The Ladies Lounge.

irishpacker

cheers dude

Phlann

I'm not female but I do think you're right to be wary of it... it just seems a little bit sleazy tbh. Can't really put my finger on why.

If you have to do it, do it after talking to her a few times (I get the impression that you haven't spoken to her yet? Correct me if I'm wrong).

OR you could, you know, maybe find out a little more about her, where she goes drinking at the weekends, stuff like that and then 'accidentally' run into her there.

NB IF YOU DO THIS MORE THAN ONCE YOU'RE TECHNICALLY A STALKER.

Doing it once is just a little 'white' stalking :pac:

Cokehead Mother

Different girls are going to have different views on appropriate asking-out etiquette so you might as well just try it.

The_Minister

Don't forget that if you do ask her, and it goes pear-shaped , you are going to have to face her every time you hit the gym.

jells bells

Can you initiate casual conversation with her beforehand? I think it's common enough to share a few words at the gym, at least it is at mine, and I wouldn't think anything of a guy (or girl) mentioning the music/tv/gym courses/etc while on the mindless bike or cross trainer. That would set the stage to saying hi and asking her out in the future. I would be a bit leery of a guy asking me out without ever having spoken.

Personally I wouldn't be put off by the fact that it was done at the gym, and even if I declined I wouldn't feel strange about seeing the person again. That's a personal thing, so no knowing how she would react. Would you be ok seeing her again if she said no?

**magnolia**

Ok girls opinion here.... I go to the gym quite a bit and I think its fine to ask someone out but try make conversation first, its easier to approach someone when they are doing weights or stretching or something. I once had a guy approach me in the gym and offered to give me a tip and we started chatting.
I know most of my friends think its better to be asked out when you arent looking your best i.e sweaty in the gym and not glammed up on a night out, it shows that the guy thinks you are attractive without having to be done up and is not shallow

Just my opinion!

Malteaser!

This question has been asked a few times in the fitness forum before and the answer has always generally been no, women (and men) aren't into being asked out in the gym.

I'll do a search now and see if I can find the most recent thread on it, if you want to see more people's opinions on it.

geminilady

i dont see anything wrong with in tbh, does she ever look at you? but i would say though as some of the other said try and just say hey and try and build longer convo every time you meet her and then ask her, i would find it a bit creepy if someone just came up to me. but i dunno thats just me

Just be yourself man!

Goodluck ! keep us posted.

af_thefragile

There are no "rules" to this.

You see her, you find her attractive, you've got the balls for it, go upto her and talk to her!!
Pretty simple... eh?!
Whether its the gym or the mall or a movie or a party!

And one thing about girls in gym is that you know they like to take care of their body which always is a good trait to their personality in my opinion...

StormWarrior

I'm a girl who spends alot of time in the gym, and I would HATE to be asked out by any of the men there. Well, I don't fancy any of them, maybe if I did it would be different. Some of the men in gyms are very sleazy and I hate it! I am there to work out, not pick up guys! I think you should just casually get chatting to her as a friend. Next time you see her, a (non-sleazy) nod, next time a "hi," next time a casual comment about, say, some new thing the gym is running, and so on, (assuming she is responsive and does not seem to want you to leave her alone) within a few weeks you should be having friendly conversations with her. That way, you can find out what clubs/pubs she frequents and mention that you go there sometimes as well, "maybe I'll see you in there sometime?" And so on. If she is not very responsive though, do leave her alone. Most women don't want to be chatted up in the gym.

Miss Fluff

Try and get talking to her a few times first. Just asking her out after never having spoken to her before will appear a bit strange. Talk to her a few times first to test the water and then ask her.

justsomebloke

if it looks like they are the type that is there to be seen then go ahead. however if looks like they are actually taking it seriously don't.

Malteaser!

I'd agree with everyone who said to strike up a convo with her first. I know that if some randomer came to me and asked me out while I was in the middle of a session having never spoken to me before he'd be getting shot down pretty quickly.

Btw, here's that thread about the same topic from the fitness forum.

Pherekydes

irishpacker wrote: »

I'd be annoyed if it happened vice-versa, but thats just because I'm all work when I'm in the gym, no chit-chat!

Take your own advice! Maybe the women are there to work, too.

irishpacker

Thanks for the replys chaps and chapettes!

General consensus seems to be just get chatting to her first. I've always been wary of the whole asking someone out without ever having talking to them before anyway. I've never actually witnessed or heard of it being done to be honest! The modern method of getting in with someone is definately the "friends first" method.

To be completely honest I not exactly casanova when it comes to approaching a girl. I usually say something stupid or the conversation will drag and I'll get bored and go away. Anyway, we have chatted breifly once or twice, most obviously when she started doing lunges right infront of me when I was doing cleans, bear in mind the gym was half empty at the time and she could have gone else where. She asked if she was in the way (of the mirror, not for vainity for technique!) and I bumbled something incoherent, because she has that effect on me! Anyway, I didnt read into it.

Oh by the way, this is in a University gym, not a public gym... dont know if that changes the protocol in anyway:)

Thanks again for the advice, I'm an idiot when it comes to asking women out. I've all the courage, but haven't a clue what to say or do!

MagicMarker

If there is one place i would advize against asking someone out, it would be the gym.

Just from being on the fitness forum, women generally hate when guys try and make ''small talk'', it's plainly obvious what your intentions are.

If it does go tits up, you will have to face her all the time, but what's worse is that she will more than likely be very uncomfortable. She has paid for a membership and the last thing anyone needs at the gym is a feeling of awkwardness...

Then again my brother met his OH in the gym and three kids later they are getting married in Dec. But he was the instructor at the time:)

I totally hate the idea of someone chatting me up in the gym.
But it does sound like this girl is flirting with him.
See if she follows you into the jacuzzi, it is the most sociable place.

Irishcrx

I wouldn't ask her out in the gym , Just like the guy's the gals are just there to work out aswell, I hate the types that stand around chating in there I just go in, do my own thing and get out it's not that kind of envoirment. Maybe if you can strike up a little small talk and if you see her outside the gym then ask her out, worst she can say is no anyway...

Macha

Just to make the point on her making lunges in front of you, I'm a girl that goes to the TCD gym (dunno if that's the one you're talking about) & its quite small. I'm guessing other uni gyms are quite small as well? Anyway, there isn't a whole lof of space to do lunges or walking lunges, etc & there are a few poxy mirrors in one corner & across one wall.

Point being I wouldn't read anything into her checking if she was blocking you, apart from the fact that she obviously has good gym etiquette. But just feckin go for it-even if she says no, you might become friends with her & something might develop in the future??

Vegeta

It is a tough one alright.

I wouldn't care being asked out in the gym, timing is everything though.

I HATE being asked questions by anyone when I am doing squats, deads etc

One thing for sure is that you will definitely regret not asking in the future.

So you can ask her now and maybe get shot down in flames or live with the shame of not having the balls to ask her out.

I would ease in to asking her out though:
start by just saying "Hi" when you pass her
progress to "Hey how's the goin"
If she needs to move you again to use the mirror, maybe comment that its a pity they don't have more mirrors as they are a great help for keeping form soild when on your own. That kind of small talk bollox.
Guage her reactions and make a call from there

Tommy the Cat

Just go for it chap, whats the worst that can happen!!

Black Swan

irishpacker wrote: »

Is it considered OK to ask a girl out in a gym, that you've only ever seen in the gym?

I workout daily, so what's the problem? You might want to raise your ban on chit chat first, with her in particular, and not be soooooo serious while working out? Like when you two are side-by-side on treadmills or stair climbers or cyclotrons. If you are both regulars, just be friendly and start chatting with her. Don't rush it, and build rapport over a few chance meetings at the gym. If she fancies you, she more than likely will chat too. If not, you'll get the message and not run the risk of asking her out?

Agreeing with earlier posters, I would not stand around and chat, taking up workout time, and some equipment lends itself better to chatting while working out, than others (treadmills side-by-side OK, weight machines or free-standing weights NO). Besides walking, jogging, or running, what's to do on a treadmill, besides listen to my I-pod...? It's really a bore, and a few words of chat with a fit, attractive male, might make time fly.

irishpacker

Well sure, I'll try somethin anyway next time I see her. Thanks for the tips dudes and dudettes. I knew there was something odd about approaching someone in the gym!

[Jackass]

Aw I hate this thread! There are a lot of fine women in my gym!! Not that I was EVER going to approach any of them, but at least I felt before I had the option.

So unless a girl starts doing lunges and squats right beside me and says something first, this is a no go area? That sucks.

i thought stats stated that alot of men/women meet future girlfriends/boyfriends in the gym as opposed to pub/nightclub?????

i say get to know her first then ask her out.

irishpacker

Deleted User wrote: »

i thought stats stated that alot of men/women meet future girlfriends/boyfriends in the gym as opposed to pub/nightclub?????.

That was my thinking too. But this entire thread has put me off entirely, I though it was just me being weird or something. I'm just particularily egar about this one girl because I have never seen her outside the gym, not in letures, library, even on a night out, never. If I had I would have tried something for sure by now. Typical me, victim of circumstance!

Macha

Ah no, I would definitely give it a go, irishpacker! Just don't do it when she's in the middle of her weights routine (you know resting times can be important, especially with circuit-style weights) or when she's on a cardio machine. Best to approach her at the lockers or when stretching or when she's cleaning down a machine or something.

If you know any of the gym instructors, maybe they know her & can orchestrate an introduction? Sometimes I wish we were more like the Americans who just go on dates to see if they like the other person.