Our Parents Lied To Us/Things you believed as a child

IvaBigWun

Lies our parents told us:

"If you pick your nose your brains will fall out"

"If you put a sea shell to your ear, you can hear the sea waves"

"The street-man turns on the street lights"

lying fookers


Things I believed as a child:

That if you killed a bee they gave off a dying noise other bees heard to come and attack you.

You could get a girl pregnant by kissing.

If you tied a knot in an electric cable the electricity couldn't get through.

Swallowing an apple pip would make apples grow in your belly.

That canned laughter on TV shows was the sound of all the other people laughing in their respective homes.

That my Ma & Da had a chip in their heads and knew when I was been bold.

That if I concentrated really really hard I could stop time.



Erm. 2 things.

1) Please tell me my parents werent the only ones, and

2) That I wasnt dropped on my head as child which resulted in the above thoughts.

kthnxbye

DonkeyStyle \o/

That canned laughter on TV shows was the sound of all the other people laughing in their respective homes.

That's a good one... must save that for the next time I meet someone who's tripping.

anna766

My enterprising mother had me convinced for years that the ice-cream man was in fact an ambulance! I used actually feel bad for the sick people (and never clocked that whenever anyone in the estate got a heart attack, all the other kids got 99s )

and2

i was told the music from ice-cream van meant that the ice-cream had run out! now that was a recession!

I was always told that the ice-cream from the ice-cream van was 'made from the engine' or something along those lines which meant it was dodgy/dirty ice-cream. Odd altogether.

LadyE

Canned laughter..I always thought that the shows were filmed in front of an audience - the sound of laughter was the audience. Yeah, Im thick

If you lie your tongue turns black "But I just ate a blackjack"...I use this with my own son now

If you go outside with wet hair..you will be physically sick.

IvaBigWun

and2 wrote: »

i was told the music from ice-cream van meant that the ice-cream had run out! now that was a recession!

proper lol!

javaboy

IvaBigWun wrote: »

That if you killed a bee they gave off a dying noise other bees heard to come and attack you.

There's truth in that one but I think it's more wasps and pheromones rather than a noise: http://www.the-piedpiper.co.uk/th4.htm

My parents told me there would never be another "Lies you were told as a child" thread. Lying b@stards!

DonkeyStyle \o/

Myth wrote: »

I was always told that the ice-cream from the ice-cream van was 'made from the engine' or something along those lines which meant it was dodgy/dirty ice-cream. Odd altogether.

I was told the man in the icecream van went to the toilet in a bucket and didn't wash his hands... so the icecream... again would be dirty... but who knows, maybe it was true.

showry

I was probably about 9 when I realised that "2 little boys" wasn't actually about me and my brother

chin_grin

If I swallowed chewing gum, it would stick to my ribcage. Ah bless the innocence of youth.

Seachmall

I was told if I touched my poo I would go blind.
I was told that yellow wee is unhealthy wee and see-through wee is healthy.
I was told God created us all and I was told to go to church.

buckieburd

One of the girls in class told me when I was 8, that you had a big egg in your stomach that contained lots of little eggs, and that when you went to the school nurse she would punch you in the stomach and the big egg would break then a little egg would come out each month and that was your periods. For years after that I would sh!t myself going to the nurse, kept waiting for her to dig me in the belly!!!

IvaBigWun

buckieburd wrote: »

One of the girls in class told me when I was 8, that you had a big egg in your stomach that contained lots of little eggs, and that when you went to the school nurse she would punch you in the stomach and the big egg would break then a little egg would come out each month and that was your periods. For years after that I would sh!t myself going to the nurse, kept waiting for her to dig me in the belly!!!

Fookin hell :pac:

keevita

My mom told me sausages grew in a field when I had a vegetarian phase.

chin_grin

I was told God created us all and I was told to go to church.

Let me be the first to shake your hand.

javaboy

Seachmall wrote: »

I was told if I touched my poo I would go blind.

Who didn't hear the story of some kid who got dog poo on his hand, scratched his eye and subsequently went blind when they were a kid? It's plausible too.

I was told that yellow wee is unhealthy wee and see-through wee is healthy.

See through wee means you're well hydrated doesn't it?

ART6

Things I believed because my ma told me:

1. Bats are sticky and if you don't wear a hat at night they will get into your hair and be impossible to remove.
2. If you get a cut in the web of skin between the thumb and index finger you will die.
3. If you get wet in the rain it is essential to take a mustard bath to avoid catching cold.
4. If you go outdoors within an hour of a bath you will catch pneumonia.
5. Goats give you fleas (and we lived on a farm -- they sure did!).

Seachmall

javaboy wrote: »

Who didn't hear the story of some kid who got dog poo on his hand, scratched his eye and subsequently went blind when they were a kid? It's plausible too.

I don't know if thats sarcasm:rolleyes:

See through wee means you're well hydrated doesn't it?

It means you're overhydrated and your body wants to get rid of water. Yellow pee means your dehydrated and your body wants to get rid of salts (among other things). Neither of them are 'healthy' per se but they're not unhealthy either. Its just your body managing your water levels.

javaboy

Seachmall wrote: »

I don't know if thats sarcasm:rolleyes:

Nope not really. There was always a story of how some kid who lived nearby (but not quite near enough that you could actually check it out to see if it was true) went blind after picking up dog poo.

It means you're overhydrated and your body wants to get rid of water. Yellow pee means your dehydrated and your body wants to get rid of salts (among other things). Neither of them are 'healthy' per se but they're not unhealthy either. Its just your body managing your water levels.

Ok javaboy time to back away. Urine way over your head on this one.

IvaBigWun

javaboy wrote: »

There's truth in that one but I think it's more wasps and pheromones rather than a noise: http://www.the-piedpiper.co.uk/th4.htm

I was a feckin' genius even back then!

tribulus

I was told that if the wind changed direction while I was crossing my eyes they'd be stuck like that.

Overheal

This threads been done, a lot. Search first.

ART6

javaboy wrote: »

Who didn't hear the story of some kid who got dog poo on his hand, scratched his eye and subsequently went blind when they were a kid? It's plausible too.

Among local authority workers there is a thing called "mower's eye". It is a parasitic infection of the eye caught by employees who mow street verges and get dog poo traces on their hands from the grass on the mower. Then when they wipe their eyes...... They don't go blind but they do suffer a lot of irritation for a while.

hussey

Mary was a virgin

javaboy

hussey wrote: »

Mary was a virgin

She was. :cool:

IvaBigWun

Overheal wrote: »

This threads been done, a lot. Search first.

Havent seen either topic here in 4 years of reading AH. Links or they didnt happen.

RxQueen

keevita wrote: »

My mom told me sausages grew in a field when I had a vegetarian phase.

HA thats a good one!

Overheal

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Havent seen either topic here in 4 years of reading AH. Links or they didnt happen.

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055345806
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055334008
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=297126
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055162297
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055229260

I love the similar threads box at the bottom of the page. lifesaver.

hussey

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Havent seen either topic here in 4 years of reading AH. Links or they didnt happen.

Overheal wrote: »

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055345806
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055334008
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=297126
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055162297
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055229260

I love the similar threads box at the bottom of the page. lifesaver.

pwned

IvaBigWun

Overheal wrote: »

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055345806
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055334008
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=297126
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055162297
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055229260

I love the similar threads box at the bottom of the page. lifesaver.

Ooooh. Where they all come from?

To be honest I think there's very, very little we havent covered on AH by now :cool:

But good work. Noted.

5starpool

Overheal wrote: »

This threads been done, a lot. Search first.

Glad you felt the need to tell the world that. I hope it made you feel better.

Overheal

It really did. How bout a multi-thread merge?

IvaBigWun

Overheal wrote: »

It really did. How bout a multi-thread merge?

+1

Terence?

Winters

Overheal wrote: »

It really did. How bout a multi-thread merge?

Yes, why not merge every duplicate thread in After Hours since 1998 :rolleyes:

Larianne

My Uncle died of Lupus when I was very young and after my mam told me its a disease that affects the tissue in your body, I started eating toliet tissue...

Homer

It's 1983 and I'm 10 years old. Ski Sunday is on the telly, and I ask my dad why onlookers are banging cowbells and shouting every time a contestant skis past.

He says,
"it's so that blind skiers can keep away from the sides". :mad:

Solarball10

Santy was the worst. I really thought he'd existed. When they told me aged 11, I still didn't have the foggiest. But finally, I had someone to blame face-to-face for that 1 year when I asked for a Barbie dreamhouse and got a crappy robot instead.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I used to think that your calves and thighs were actually where you stored all the chewing gum that you swallowed. My parents didn't tell me that I don't think though. I used to swallow chewing gum on purpose and stare at my calves to see if I could see it appearing under the skin.

Oh, and I didn't quite get the concept of false teeth, I thought my grandparents were literally taking their teeth out of their heads, had a vague idea it had something to do with the toothfairy and "grown-up" teeth

Steve_o

My dad told me as a kid that people only started seeing in colour in the 70's and that everyone saw in black and white before that, hence the photographs, believed him for years too... I was a stupid child!

Zzippy

That Jack and Jill went up a hill, just to fetch a pail of water... :rolleyes:

Homer

Snyper's Dad once told him that their family were descendants of Irish lords ... He used to beleive him too but then his father told the Judge he wasn't a child molester so now he has his doubts...

shenanigans1982

Steve_o wrote: »

My dad told me as a kid that people only started seeing in colour in the 70's and that everyone saw in black and white before that, hence the photographs, believed him for years too... I was a stupid child!

I thought that too, don't think my parents told me. Before I knew of shaving I also thought you had no choice in whether you developed a moustache or beard and prayed I would never ever get one.

My parents had me convinced if I picked my nose my head would cave in, still works to this day.

IvaBigWun

Steve_o wrote: »

My dad told me as a kid that people only started seeing in colour in the 70's and that everyone saw in black and white before that, hence the photographs

Bold Daddy.

adsgirl

That an ice-cream was called a poke:o

Trinity

My dad told me he was allergic to peas and beans due to an accident and the doctor told him he had to eat a bar of chocolate everyday. I belived him up to a few years ago about the peas and beans, basically he didnt like them and didnt want us to stop eating them.

That your womb turns when you have your period kinda like pouring out a cup of water, led to a very embarrassing moment in 5th year when in biology class :mad:

That if you hold your wee wee in your kidneys will turn to sand.

My friend told me once if you wee in the swimming pool 'you get a yellow ring around you and everyone will know it was you'. I thought for a long time that she meant the lifeguard would physically put a yellow swimming ring around you to let everyone know you were a piss in the pooler.

Christ loads more but cant think.

Seachmall

Trinity1 wrote: »

That your womb turns when you have your period kinda like pouring out a cup of water, led to a very embarrassing moment in 5th year when in biology class :mad:

I hate when dumb sh*t you believed as a kid comes out on front of all your friends and class.

Trinity

Seachmall wrote: »

I hate when dumb sh*t you believed as a kid comes out on front of all your friends and class.

The teacher called me after class to ask was i joking and proceeded when i said no to give me a very sad look and patted me on teh shoulder while explaining my anatomy.

Seachmall

Trinity1 wrote: »

The teacher called me after class to ask was i joking and proceeded when i said no to give me a very sad look and patted me on teh shoulder while explaining my anatomy.

That sounds like a porno I saw the other night...

jigglywoo

My brother told me that doing exercise will make you anorexic.

A neighbour told me that if you ate tomato seeds a plant will grow inside you, she also told me that if you don't leave the cover of the toilet seat down then rats will crawl out of your toilet at night.

My Dad spent years trying to convince me he was an alien.

My parents told me they met when my mother was walking along a wooden bridge but fell through it and my dad jumped in to the canal to save her. There was an old dilapidated bridge in town so it was believable.

john concannon

I was told IF SANTY and the EASTER BUNNY saw you awake that they would send you to another dimension.I now know that was code for sending me to LEITRIM.