Butterflies

LegacyUser

There's this guy at work that I've been shamelessly flirting with. He's absolutely gorgeous and when I'm around him my stomach goes tense and my heartbeat quickens. He's often sarcastic and teases a bit but I'm not sure whether that's because he likes me or the complete opposite. It could be the latter because he doesn't talk to me much unless I initiate converstaion. But my friend also said he could be teasing because that's what guys do when they want to get your attention. As I write this the guilt for even having these thoughts is building - I have a boyfriend, who i love and have been with for almost 4yrs, but I love being around this other guy simply because of the way I feel when I'm around him. I've been missing the butterflies. How do I stop fantasizing about the other guy?

Cuddlesworth

sryk wrote: »

lol...if u wnt to stp it...zen only u who wil be able to do so my dr...help yaself...;)

Can I get this in English please?

Danbo!

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

Can I get this in English please?

Laugh out loud. If you want to stop it, you are the only one who will be able to do so my dear. Help yourself. Wink.

Yup, top notch advice.

Marksie

Folks: that particular poster has been dealt with as regards their use of text speak.
Move along now: nothing more to see.

Miss Fluff

Having a crush and fantasizing about someone is natural enough. Depends whether you want to pursue it or not. Are you hoping for something to happen between the two of you?

christeb

What is the status of your relationship at the moment? Are you having problems / bored?

LouOB

Sounds like the guy you have crush on it not very nice

If you want the 'butterflies' you are looking in the wrong place
Take some time off work and go on a break/holiday with BF
Afew days away from work could be enough with BF to work things out

Aurora Borealis

If you are thinking about starting something with this other guy finish things with your boyfriend because you obviously aren't right for each other if you could entertain cheating on him like that. I know if I'm in love I couldn't possibly, even though I could still admire someone else, think about being with someone else. No way.

tinkletoes

Aurora Borealis wrote: »

If you are thinking about starting something with this other guy finish things with your boyfriend because you obviously aren't right for each other if you could entertain cheating on him like that. I know if I'm in love I couldn't possibly, even though I could still admire someone else, think about being with someone else. No way.

+1

Adam

Alternatively, tell the guy.

I'd rather live to regret something I did do, than something I didn't do.

qz

Mirror wrote: »

Alternatively, tell the guy.

I'd rather live to regret something I did do, than something I didn't do.

+1. I live by this.

nomorebadtown

Mirror wrote: »

Alternatively, tell the guy.

I'd rather live to regret something I did do, than something I didn't do.

qz wrote:

+1. I live by this.

Alternatively, cop yourself on and realise its just a crush or break up with your boyfriend.

I'd rather live to know that I had the strength of character not to piss on the feelings of the people I love all for the sake of having "No regrets, man".

I live by this.

Adam

Did you come here to advise the OP or pick a fight? Reported.

Wibbs

nomorebadtown "cop yourself on" while an opinion is not likely to have the OP do the right thing whatever that turns out to be. It just makes people pull their heads in IMHO. Also "cop yourself on" is not welcome as advice because of that.

Wibbs

Now while I agree nomorebadtown could have phrased his opinion less agressively for want of a better word, it's pretty much the same as what Aurora Borealis has posted in more considered terms. Others may disagree.

I would tend to go with Aurora Borealis take on it. If you love someone then while others may occupy your thoughts at times, not to this degree. As someone wrote here before(I think Dragan) if you are caught between two people in matters of love then you don't love one of them enough.

Adam

Wibbs wrote: »

Now while I agree nomorebadtown could have phrased his opinion less agressively for want of a better word, it's pretty much the same as what Aurora Borealis has posted in more considered terms. Others may disagree.

I would tend to go with Aurora Borealis take on it. If you love someone then while others may occupy your thoughts at times, not to this degree. As someone wrote here before(I think Dragan) if you are caught between two people in matters of love then you don't love one of them enough.

Wise words indeed from Dragan. I would agree with you and Aurora, when I posted I did not explain myself. I would not agree with stringing one or other guy along, you need to make a decision one way or the other.

My point however was that sometimes doing the "caring" thing with regards to the person you are seeing is not necesarily going to be the right decision for you. At the end of the day, your happiness is the most important to you. Not that that excuses hurting other people overly, so play it carefully either way.

nomorebadtown

humblest apologies to wibbs and mirror, i have read 'cop yourself on' in many a PI thread so i presumed it was ok as i never saw anyone get a warning for it.

Liam Byrne

Yup, if nomorebadtown had phrased it differently it would have been brilliant advice. While you do need to live life and take chances, you shouldn't do it in any way that results in treating other people badly, particularly people you care about or are "in love" with.

Breaking up can be tough, but it's part of taking a chance; doing the dirt (or thinking about it enough to post here) is another story; how would you feel if you read a similar post posted here by your b/f ? Would you dump him on the spot ?

Maybe I'm being harsh because of one or two past experiences ? I probably am; but I hope the core point isn't lost.