Skanky versus Classy

catface

Hi,

My girlfriend and I have are having a debate and we would like other people's opinions to try and resolve the situation. My girlfriend wants to take professional photographs which I am not happy as the ones she has in mind are too revealing. She wants to take bikini, lingerie, photos where only her hair is covering her chest and one where a snake is covering her chest. Yes a snake.

<Nope not having the picture here>

I am a psychotic insane boyfriend you might have prejudged, no, I have agreed that if this is what she really wants to do, okay. I am not happy about it but it is her choice. My only problem is that she wants to put all these photos on bebo.

I don't want my girlfriend putting herself on display in semi-naked form for everyone to see. Yet she is adamant that these photos are classy and it would make her feel good. To be honest, I would be highly embarrassed if she did this. All my friends and family would see her in these near pornographic images. Imagine how our daughter would feel if someone shows her a picture of her mother doing this? Yet I can not convince her to not do it. Help?

---

hi

im the girlfriend mentioned above.the photos i want to do are not in the least pornographic.they are very classy & tastefully done & will be taken by one of irelands top photographers. i have recently lost alot of weight & if doing these photos make me happy & make me feel good about myself,why shouldn't i do them?i want to put them on bebo,why shouldnt i?i mean,whats the point in going all the way to dublin & spending the money to take them if no ones going to c them & appreciate them?

i feel my boyfriend is too overprotective & old fashioned.our daughter is 10months old,i doubt she will mind.& even if she was older,these photos are not in any way like,for example,a page 3 photo spread,they are provocative but not skanky,so i would not be ashamed for her to see them.

i just really want to do these for myself &i feel abit untrusted by my bf,as if he thinks ill leave him if these photos get attention from other men.i can't understand why,when he sees the photos,he can't just be happy & proud that im his girlfriend instead of trying to stop me from doing them.im not sum slut who exposes herself to any1 & every1,if these photos compremised my modesty in anyway,i would never do them.some advice would be much appreciated.

dr.bollocko

Get your photos taken if you want. Sher it might be something to look back at when you aren't as happy with your body as you are now.
But regardless of your boyfriend being jealous or anything like that, goddmanit don't DONT DONT DONT whatever you do, do anything as stupid as putting up naked pictures of yourself on Bebo, attached to your own name. What good could possibly come out of it?
If you want to make your mates jealous just wear the snake out to the next wedding you are invited to or something.

RuggieBear

erm..might be better suited for Personal Issues.

if you are doing them for yourself why do you need to put them up on bebo where anybody can google it and perv?

TelePaul

Kea Photo FTW!

Fajitas!

Erm indeed.

I'm going to send this over to personal issues... They might be able to help you better. This seems to have more to do with trust issues rather than photography.

Though I'm sure someone can tell you what f/stop that photo was taken at...

Best of luck guys.

magicbastarder

catface wrote: »

one where a snake is covering her chest.

is she posing for a 1980s metal album cover?
if you're going to have photos taken, go for something less tacky.

LivingDeadGirl

Get the photos taken sure, but why put them on Bebo? The only people who are going to 'appreciate' them on there are complete strangers perving over half naked images of you. I suggest you get them taken and just enjoy them with your bf and close friends, or maybe get him to take photos of you, something you'd both enjoy! Perhaps even a new hobby for the two of you together

ZygOte

a snake? HA! go ahead do it.

cowzerp

get them taking for you and your fella's pleasure, bebo? do you want every fella who know;s you pulling themselves looking at you? thats the way it is.

dr.bollocko

If any of my mates put up a picture of themselves wearing only a living reptile onto their bebo and asked me to look at it I would at best recoil in terror and ignore phone calls texts and emails for an as yet undetermined amount of time.
At best.

SOL

Any chance of a look at this "top photographer's" portfolio or website???

MagicMarker

Christ:rolleyes:

If you want have pictures taken, then by all means. But putting them up on Bebo is quite retarded as well as very distasteful.

You obviously don't feel as confident as you come across if you're just looking for validation by posting up naked pics for all to judge. Also, you'll have to prepare yourself for people taking the piss out of you, i'd be surprised if your photo's didn't end up on boards.ie. Where everyone will be laughing at you for being such a fool as to actually get pictures of yourself with a snake covering your tits:rolleyes:

Firetrap

Well, whatever you're into I suppose. I'm with the boyfriend here though - don't post them on Bebo. Once they're published online, you've no control over where they go after that. The photos sound to me (I'm a grrrllll btw) like a male fantasy and the sort of thing that 14 year old boys love. Congratulations on losing weight and gaining a new body but perhaps you and your boyfriend should just share them between you.

ZygOte

this is one of the silliest things i have seen in a while, i missed the part that she wants to put them on bebo which make this even more rediculous. clearly she is looking for some kind of validation or confidence building but this will backfire badly, BADLY!

do it if you must, but just remeber, the internet never forgets!

http://www.archive.org/web/web.php

CabanSail

I don't see anything wrong with getting the photo's taken. The way the proposed images are described doesn't sound to be Art Nude to me, but more like Page 3.

Maybe get the shoot done first & then decide how & where you will use them.

Who is the "Top Photographer"?

sunnyside

RuggieBear wrote: »

if you are doing them for yourself why do you need to put them up on bebo where anybody can google it and perv?

I would imagine it's because the girl who wants the photos taken is inspired by people like Jordan. Lots of girls these days are.


She says she's lost a lot of weight and I think the reason behind these pictures is so she can look at them and see that she looks as good as the numerous semi-clad girls in the magazines. I can understand the motivation behind it.

I think the boyfriend has nothing to fear from this. In fact it's likely to benefit him because the pics will make the girl feel sexy and therefore more interested in having lots of sex;)

Alicat

+1 with the majority of other posters

If you want to take these photos to make you feel better about yourself, then you should go ahead and do it. You should be proud of losing the weight and fair play to you if you're now that confident with your body that you would do this, a lot of people would not be that brave. (I'd be mortified )

But putting them on Bebo? Are you absolutely nuts? The fact that this is a big issue for you, that you don't just want the photos for yourself and your OH, but you want to plaster them all over for Bebo for other people to see makes me think that actually you're not as confident as you're making out. You're still looking for other people's approval. Losing the weight was great but do all your friends and family need to see you nearly naked to appreciate it?

I can totally understand your OH's opinion on this, it's madness. If one of my friends put pictures like that on a social networking site like Bebo I could have no respect for her. Stinks of desperation to be honest.

chump

Hah, I laughed.

The female OP, get a grip.

How low is your self confidence that you want randomers to look at pictures of you posing provocatively (your own words) to make you feel good about yourself.

Jaysus, that is really REALLY sad.

Whatever about girls showing their skin off to make a living, to have a good lifestyle, but this - it screams of pathetic attention seeking seriously fkkd-up-in-da-head fruitcake.

StandnDeliver

by all means take the photos,maybe the boyfriend can go to the shoot with you, to put his mind as ease

i wouldnt post the pics on the internet for a few reasons to do with if your work colleagues see them,or a dim view is taken on them.

catface

magicbastarder wrote: »

is she posing for a 1980s metal album cover?
if you're going to have photos taken, go for something less tacky.

its not tacky,its more fashion.& i want to put them up on bebo cos whats the point in taking them if pple never c them?i will NOT be naked in these photos.i wud never pose nude.they would just hint @ nudity.

ZygOte

catface wrote: »

its not tacky,its more fashion.& i want to put them up on bebo cos whats the point in taking them if pple never c them?i will NOT be naked in these photos.i wud never pose nude.they would just hint @ nudity.

OP in a seriousness what age are you? i get the impression you are still in your teens or possibly very early twenties. if you are then plesae listen , you are very young and more likley than not you will come to regret what you are doing.

catface

also,the photographers name is lilli forberg.search for her on bebo & let me know what u think.& i didnt c any1 laughing @ the other girls who have already done those photos

MagicMarker

People see you everyday... Why put tacky pictures on the internet? You'll just give yourself a reputation and people will laugh at you for being so desperate. I even can't stand people who post dozens of pictures of themselves from varying angles, it's screams ''attention whore''.

This just reminds me of that show 'British Sex' on Sky One years ago, desperate housewives n all.

catface

im 20 soon & no i wont regret them.i can take them off bebo whenever i want.please to every1 who gives advice,don't talk down to me because of my age because i'm far from stupid and/or naive

MagicMarker

catface wrote: »

im 20 soon & no i wont regret them.i can take them off bebo whenever i want.please to every1 who gives advice,don't talk down to me because of my age because i'm far from stupid and/or naive

Have you ever heard of ''save target as''?

ZygOte

catface wrote: »

im 20 soon & no i wont regret them.i can take them off bebo whenever i want.please to every1 who gives advice,don't talk down to me because of my age because i'm far from stupid and/or naive

its your funeral, off you go, Sure at nearly 20 we all new exactly how the rest of our lives were going to pan out, and there no way we could ever do something we would regret.

Im in my early 30's now and i swear i thought i new it all when i was 20, i still dont have a bloody clue today.

Canis Lupus

I'd throw a fit if my GF wanted to do something like that.

Personally the charter doesn't allow me to articulate exactly what I think of your proposal as well as possible reasons as to why you'd want to post the pictures for the world to see.

All I'll say is I think the idea is fine if it's kept between you and your BF but if you post them on bebo of all places then it's pathetic nevermind the fact that your BF obviously has an issue with it and for example my GF wouldn't do something I had an issue with which also works the other way.

Finally. Lol... Snake. :rolleyes:

EDIT: You're 20?? double lol.

catface

whats ur problem?for you're information im very confident & if,before i took the photos,i somehow knew no1 wud look twice at them id still put them up.i need no1s validation.if i was insecure in how i looked id hardly do it now would i?i asked for ur advice,not ur cruelty.how dare you?

catface

i didnt say i know it all.i know i dont know it all.that doesnt mean im as stupid as every1 thinks i am though.what i DO know is if i do them,i won't regret them

ZygOte

catface wrote: »

whats ur problem?for you're information im very confident & if,before i took the photos,i somehow knew no1 wud look twice at them id still put them up.i need no1s validation.if i was insecure in how i looked id hardly do it now would i?i asked for ur advice,not ur cruelty.how dare you?

? is that reverse psychology ?

ZygOte

catface wrote: »

i didnt say i know it all.i know i dont know it all.that doesnt mean im as stupid as every1 thinks i am though.what i DO know is if i do them,i won't regret them

nothing is regretable until you do it.

RuggieBear

catface wrote: »

whats ur problem?for you're information im very confident & if,before i took the photos,i somehow knew no1 wud look twice at them id still put them up.i need no1s validation.if i was insecure in how i looked id hardly do it now would i?i asked for ur advice,not ur cruelty.how dare you?

can you explain what you hope to gain/what sort of reaction you hope to get by publishing your photos on Bebo?

You can't always predict peoples reaction...sure, look at this thread and how do the posts make you feel?

Alicat

catface wrote: »

im 20 soon & no i wont regret them.i can take them off bebo whenever i want.please to every1 who gives advice,don't talk down to me because of my age because i'm far from stupid and/or naive

For me it has nothing to do with your age. I'd have the same attitude if it was a 50 year old wanting to put pics like this on Bebo.

Your OH's post says you want ones with only your hair covering your chest (which will be naked I presume!) and with a snake .... If that's what you want, then fine! It's your choice! But most people would think you naive and stupid, not for your age, but for posting them on the internet for f*cks sake. It's not like once you take them off Bebo they're gone from the internet forever. As the other posters have said "Save Target As...."

Now this is only my opinion so if you're still adamant that you want to post these semi-naked photos on the internet then go ahead, but you've heard our opinions and those of your OH.

Canis Lupus

catface wrote: »

,i won't regret them

Neither will your boyfriends mates assuming you're not a minger.

sunnyside

If she wants to do it that much no amount of people on here telling her not to will stop her.

Sure she might regret it later or she might still be looking at those pictures when she's 60 and happily remembering how good she looked.


There are so many pics of semi naked girls around now that mostly nobody bats an eyelid at them anymore.

Marksie

Catface: read the rules on textspeak before posting.
and if you posted for advice...you will get both what you want to hear and what you dont.

BendiBus

The snake thing and the bebo thing sound a bit tacky. Neither is to be recommended.

Don't know why everyone is getting so uptight though. If ever there's a time to get your tits out for the camera, it's in your early 20s

Lili Forberg takes a good photograph. http://www.misslili.net/

dr.bollocko

catface wrote: »

its not tacky,its more fashion.& i want to put them up on bebo cos whats the point in taking them if pple never c them?i will NOT be naked in these photos.i wud never pose nude.they would just hint @ nudity.

Yeah. Nothing like hints at nudity like a nude chick holding a snake.

Why even put up the post asking for advice if, as soon as the advice is contrary to your own opinion you have to jump in, register and start abusing people who are only trying to stop you from making a stupid mistake?
Fair enough. Do what you want. But don't try to justify a stupid move because of pride or anger because, yeah, your boyfriend is in fact RIGHT, and instead of accepting that, you have to mouth off at everyone.

smelltheglove

There are actually a lot of pictures like this on bebo that are very classy. There is Emma Quinlan the model who works with snakes, her own pets and has a few pictures wearing only her snakes done in a very classy way. If it is a top photographer and you want them on bebo I am guessing that you are looking at Lili Forbeg who I think is a great model photographer and would probably be a good choice considering she has done this shots with Emma Quinlan and similar hair shots with other models and kept them classy enough not to be removed by bebo.

If they were too extreme they'd be taken down quite quickly.

I say if it something this girl wants then go for it.

Zen 2nd

catface wrote: »

i want to put them on bebo


im not sum slut who exposes herself to any1 & every1

By putting those pictures on Bebo that is what you are doing.

Burial

I haven't read all the thread. I can't. I don't have the time. Anyway, I think if she wants to take the photos, she should, but she has to answer a few questions.

Will she look people at people who have seen these photos in the eye and be the same?

Will she be comfortable with people taking these photos and posting on internet sites?

Would she be comfortable with her child doing these photos in the future?

Would she be ok with her BF doing the same thing?

Would a better compromise not be to just keep a hard copy of these photos, rather than online? I'm thinking you just want them to say well-done to yourself, kind've like a reward. It's your body and your choice at the end of the day.

LegacyUser

Please, reconsider posting them on bebo or any other online site.

Have a read of:
http://www.itpro.co.uk/108987/be-wary-of-your-online-footprint

Or do a google for "online footprint". Once these photos go up, there is never any way of taking them down.

You also must consider that you may find them tasteful, but others may not. Everyone has different opinions. If your bf/husband has reservations about this, than I'm sure others will definitely have. Perhaps in years to come, a future would-be-employer who is up-tight may stumble upon them and reconsider hiring you. You must also consider that they would be a source of embarrassment and harassment for your children in later years if they ever got out. Your decision affects not only you but your family.

Again, the argument isn't whether they are tasteful or not. The real argument is whether you should post them online. If you are getting them done, you could keep them in hard copy format, and perhaps would be a source of amusement in years to come.

If you absolutely must, then be sure to put your bebo profile as private. It is still not ideal however, and best they never go up!

herya

Whatever you post on Bebo becomes public domain and you'll not be able to remove it, you may delete the pics but people will have already saved them and archives will have already archived them. Photos sound great but putting them up is absolutely immature. Mail them to people you want to impress if you trust them, or have them framed in your bedroom so that your chosen guests see them but otherwise you may end up advertising an xxx site for some net weirdos.

Alicat

I hope to god this girl is paying attention to these replies and hasn't stormed off in a tantrum cause she didn't get the answer she wanted. And I don't mean that in a cruel way, if we wanted to be cruel we'd encourage her to post them up and make a fool of herself.

OP please think about it first!

Dragan

When photos like these are done the right way then they really are classy.

Get them done.

To the boyfriend i would simply say be happy to have a girlfriend who is truly happy with how she looks.

BubbleWrap85

I don't see how putting them on bebo will make her feel any better. I agree that they may end up looking classy if done tastefully, but why the need to broadcast them? It should be enough to get the desired effect by doing the photo shoot, and having her boyfriend see them and close friends. Why feel the need to show off to strangers unless apapealing for complements & attention??? I'd say go ahead & do them by all means, losing weight is a great achievement, but I wouldn't put them on bebo. That will tarnish their tastefulness [a real word?!] in my opinion.

metaoblivia

If she wants to do the photos, I see no problem with it. And I don't think posting them on bebo is necessarily an indication of needing compliments or attention. I've been a working model, and I've done a few tasteful semi nude photos. Those particular shots never made it on to the internet, but other professional photos I've done have. I'm proud of my work and the work of my photographer. I also post pictures of my artwork, I share articles I've had published, I post links to independent films I've been in. To me, modeling is no different. When you do something and you're really happy with the outcome, you want to share it.
(and this is assuming the OP is happy with the outcome - you're not always happy with the resulting photos).

herya

I can sense a huge difference between your attitude (professional & controlled as you don't put the most saucy stuff up) and the OP's though.

Alicat

herya wrote: »

I can sense a huge difference between your attitude (professional & controlled as you don't put the most saucy stuff up) and the OP's though.

Absolutely. Professional is different. I know the OP has organised a professional photographer, and I think she should get them done if she wants to, but this posting them on Bebo lark?

I mean, forgive me for judging here, but the OP is 20, a lot of her friends on Bebo are probably around the same age or younger, and a mixture of males and females. Are all of those friends mature enough to appreciate the professional shots and comment appropriately? Or like a lot of 19/20 year olds, will a few them pass dirty negative comments on her Bebo page, save the pictures and send them to other people etc?

If she really wants her close friends and family to see these pictures would she not be better showing them in a more controlled area/fashion?

dresden8

To answer the question as asked:

Skanky.

K-9

Whatever about the debate about whether to put them online or not, I'd be pissed off if I was the boyfriend.

Though if she does put them up, the boyfriend I'm sure will be allowed to do something she finds objectionable.

Or will he?

Now that's the real test!