Getting a barring order against parent

LegacyUser

Yeah, the thread title is a bit morbid but I think if I explain the situation you may be more understanding.

in 2002, my parents broke up as my father was becoming incredibly angry with my mother over very simple things. The break up went on for a while and they are officially seperated. However, an issue has always stood and quite frankly I don't think I can live with it anymore.

Every bank holiday weekend he shows up where I work and does not leave at all. I've told him it is completely inappropriate to visit me but he still does it every bank holidays. He stays for a lengthy time, and customers note his presence as very obstructive to me serving them. The manager is aware of this but they have left me in control of the situation.

This particularly affects me most of all, mainly because he tries to get news about my family. My mum and one of my brother's no longer speaks to my father and he is putting me an incredibly stressful situation of appearing at the most inconvient times. He is not allowed in the family home, but he appeared today for the first time in about 2 years and wouldn't leave. I was quite stunned at the time and could not tell him to go away, even though my mum had resorted to staying at the back of the house.

This caused a lot of upset, and he eventually left after an hour of being oblivious to how much distress he was causing.

I'm not quite frankly appalled at his behaviour, and I wish to get a barring order against him. But, from what I'm reading up is that you can only get one under the Domestic Violence Act, but he is not behaving in a violent way but more in a harassing way. Does anyone know my legal standing in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

LadyE

Youre right about not getting a barring order against someone unless they are voilent..but if they behave in a threatening manner (it doesnt say it in the in information given, but I know cases where they have been granted for harassing behaviour) you can get one.

You may be able to get a safety order (against a person that doesnt live with you), that prohibits a person being near your family home, or watching you. Which would apply here.

A barring order against a parent, is an order for them to leave the family home...so that wont be any use to you. As your dad is actually gone.

If you are really concerned I would go to your local guarda station and tell them. They should be able to give you some support.

To apply for one, go to your local Family District Court office, which is in either Dun Laoghaire Or Swords....and whilst waiting for your hearing you can get a internim barring/safety order, for the meantime.

I dont envy you OP, its a truely horrible situation to be in..Hope everything works out for you.

Victor

I think what you are actually looking for is a restraining order. I think talk to you Citizens Advice Bureau or www.flac.ie or a solicitor.

Could you not just ask to not work on bank holidays?

There are district courts in many areas.

Carrigart Exile

Fustrated_son wrote: »

Yeah, the thread title is a bit morbid but I think if I explain the situation you may be more understanding.

in 2002, my parents broke up as my father was becoming incredibly angry with my mother over very simple things. The break up went on for a while and they are officially seperated. However, an issue has always stood and quite frankly I don't think I can live with it anymore.

Every bank holiday weekend he shows up where I work and does not leave at all. I've told him it is completely inappropriate to visit me but he still does it every bank holidays. He stays for a lengthy time, and customers note his presence as very obstructive to me serving them. The manager is aware of this but they have left me in control of the situation.

This particularly affects me most of all, mainly because he tries to get news about my family. My mum and one of my brother's no longer speaks to my father and he is putting me an incredibly stressful situation of appearing at the most inconvient times. He is not allowed in the family home, but he appeared today for the first time in about 2 years and wouldn't leave. I was quite stunned at the time and could not tell him to go away, even though my mum had resorted to staying at the back of the house.

This caused a lot of upset, and he eventually left after an hour of being oblivious to how much distress he was causing.

I'm not quite frankly appalled at his behaviour, and I wish to get a barring order against him. But, from what I'm reading up is that you can only get one under the Domestic Violence Act, but he is not behaving in a violent way but more in a harassing way. Does anyone know my legal standing in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Wait a minute, your father only wants to keep in touch with his family. He probably appreciates its as awkward as hell in the former family home, hence coming to see you at your place of work. Its probably nice for him just to be near you and to see you. Instead of looking for restraining orders why not try and make decent contact with him, get your brother to come along. Your father sounds like he misses you all terribly, he is separated from your mother, not you.

Overheal

To play Devils Advocate, did you offer him another venue to speak with you? Local pub? Or did you just straight refuse to speak with him?

I've told him it is completely inappropriate to visit me but he still does it every bank holidays.

he appeared today for the first time in about 2 years and wouldn't leave.

..you mean he visits work every BH and visited the family home for the first time in 2 years correct?

Well like Victor said I think you're after a restraining order - keep in mind I (as far as i know) that only prohibits them from being near your place of work and your home. So like I said if you want to place it on him and he still wants to talk, theres always the pub.

coco85

Hi OP,

My father used to do the exact same thing to my sister- he used try and visit her at work..

At the time she worked in a kitchen above a bar and he even tried to go up to the kitchen to talk to her one day..

As far as i know a son /daughter regardless of age (she was 20 at the time) cannot attain a barring/restraining order against a parent...

Now your mom can get an order to preven him coming into the family home.. and as for your workplace.. the owner of the workplace would have to have due cause to request an order to stop him entering the premisis..

The owner of the bar my sis worked in politely asked my father to refrain from going into private areas of the bar ie the kitchen,upstairs section...

Maybe a quiet word from your manager might help???

I know this is a destressing time,take care:)

Nevyn

If he is causing trouble in the business then the manager/owner should have him removed.