How often do you talk to your G/F or B/F ?

LegacyUser

My g/f rings me every day in work, now i think this is a bit much tbh, I'm usually busy and need to get stuff done.

For me, work is work and chatting on the phone to you g/f or b/f is just plain not on. Management don't usually appreciate it. Lunch time is for eating and then when you finish up its on your own time.

However my g/f doesn't get this, she sees it as i don't care.

Am i being unfair ?

RuailleBuaille

For me, I always take a bit of time out to talk to my OH throughout the day, through text or talking, I think of it as a nice way of breaking up the day and is good for strengthening your relationship.

Then again, I'm a girl so I would say that! :pac:

Miss Fluff

Tell her it's causing you difficulty with management and that they don't appreciate you taking personal calls, either on your mobile or on the work phone. If she has any cop on at all she will stop and only call if there is an emergency.

Victor

While of course it depends on the type of employment, most employers don't mind proportional contact with friends / family - say a 3-5 minute call a few times a week, provided the work gets done.

Of course if you are the night security guy with no other duties, they won't care much. If you are in a high-powered meeting with a new client, they won't want to know if you can bring home some milk and why you didn't put out the rubbish this morning. In such cases, calls are only expected if you have someone pregnant 8.5 months or more and its **the** call.

Turn off your mobile when in the office, get the telephonist to screen calls (you are in a meeting, with the boss / clients), but make up for it by sending her a text at 11am or a short call at lunchtime.

Jack Sheehan

Well prsonally I wouldn't mind this but then again I don't have a girlfriend so I don't really know what it's like.

LegacyUser

how long have you been together? if its a brand new relationship she might just be overenthused and yis haven't defined your limits yet, maybe its time to do so. somene suggested blaming managment, saying they frown upon too many personal calls, thats a good way to drop the hint without her taking it personally. or, maybe she's lonesome in work and thats why she feels she needs to ring you.
or, she's a crazy needy, wants-to-know-what-you're-doing-every-minute-of-every-day type that gives us wimmin a bad name?

but dude- that behaviour would drive me nuts. if my bf was calling me constantly (if i had a bf.. *sniff!* ), lke, if you wanna talk,im here, any time of day, but calling 'just to say hello', or 'whatcha doin' ? i'd be killin' him! the odd text or sumat's fine, but to a degree.

dr.bollocko

Depends on:
The girl.
The Job.
The Employer.
How Many times do you see her in the week?
Do you live together?

There is no blanket answer. If you calmly tell her that you cant take calls at work unless important then that should suffice. If, however, you aren't seeing her much, dont have a demanding job and just don't want to talk to her then that's a deeper PI again!

PurpleBerry

^^
What the doctor said

I wouldn't need to hear from my OH every day.

McGinty

I personally share your view that work is work so I don't ring my partner at work apart from an extreme reason (for instance saying yes to a property we were renting), otherwise I think it is best to keep work as work and private life as private life, but we do like to send a text or two during the day, just to say hi and that we are thinking of each other. If it is bothering you, then you should tell her but reassure her you care but that you can only focus on one thing at a time.

AARRRGH

Howoftend wrote: »

Am i being unfair ?

I also hate talking on the phone in work.

Can you compromise by ringing her during your lunch break?

How Strange

Having your daily chat over the phone while in work is a bit much really. I'd say to her that your manager mentioned that he/she doesn't think it's appropriate.

Clare Bear

My boyfriend rings me at least 3 times a day from work. And in between that we'd be texting eachother a lot too. He knows if I'm not replying or answering I'm busy and vice versa. It's just a couple of minutes conversation, it's not like we're blabbering away all day....say it to your girlfriend. It's not fair on you if you're busy. She doesn't realise this so don't be so hard on her, she just wants to talk to you. Just tell her that, how is she supposed to know you don't like her ringing you if you don't tell her?!

MagicMarker

I thought this was what text messages were for?

I hate talking on the phone in general, yeah it's great if plans have to be refined and it's a 3 minute chat, but a drawn out conversation i just can't handle. Save that for when face to face.

anthony4335

there seems to be a theme here. Guys prefer not to , girls want to talk while at work. I don't take personal calls in work or make them, unless it is an emergancy

Whispered

I get annoyed about my OH not taking calls when he's in work too. He takes work calls at home in the evenings, weekends, on holidays but wont work it the other way. It's fecking ridiculous. :mad:

insomnia08

Im a girl and I don´t like talking too much on the phone either. Getting texts from the boyfriend while at work is sweet though.

Why don´t you tell her to text you instead? Tell her you will text back asap, but you are busy and she needs to understand. Tell her you´d rather talk after work when you are more relaxed.

I´m sure she won´t have any problem with that

Larianne

I hated when my bf rang me in work. It was usually at a bad time too! I don't like that people could be eavesdropping on the call as well. But my bf had a really boring job and I think just called me coz he wanted to know how I was doing and bored. Might be the same with your gf. Just tell her that personal calls are frowned upon in your place of work and that giving each other a call during lunchtime is a much better option.

I don't think it is appropiate to disturb a person when they are working.
However the hypocrisy of your bf's actions would drive me demented Helen.

Why don't you set up a routine, call her for 3 or 4 minutes at the start of your break.
She'll be happy and you won't have to worry about her ring at an inopportune time.

Tha Gopher

Howoftend wrote: »

My g/f rings me every day in work, now i think this is a bit much tbh, I'm usually busy and need to get stuff done.

For me, work is work and chatting on the phone to you g/f or b/f is just plain not on. Management don't usually appreciate it. Lunch time is for eating and then when you finish up its on your own time.

However my g/f doesn't get this, she sees it as i don't care.

Am i being unfair ?

No.

Either tell her you dont have time or dont bother answering.

She dont like it? Too bad. I used to never text the ex back for ages after she texted me if I was busy watching tv, let alone working, that is life. Even my mates I never talk to on my break. Break is for eating or chekcing the net. Skiving time is for calls I know someone who has to send a text upon arriving in work and make/receive a call on each of the 3 breaks, then a call when he leaves. And probably another in between as well as numerous texts. That is plain weird.

I get annoyed about my OH not taking calls when he's in work too. He takes work calls at home in the evenings, weekends, on holidays but wont work it the other way. It's fecking ridiculous

Oh jesus christ.

He clearly has some important job. To earn a living, which is more important than yakking on the phoine during work about who you saw at the supermarket. Be an adult about it ffs.

Whispered

Tha Gopher wrote: »

Oh jesus christ.

He clearly has some important job. To earn a living, which is more important than yakking on the phoine during work about who you saw at the supermarket. Be an adult about it ffs.

Why would you assume that I ring to "yak about who I saw in the supermarket"? Or do you assume that I don't work for some reason that I would be in a supermarket while he's slaving away?

You think it's fair that someones life is a constant "oh I'll be with you in a minute" because his boss calls while we're out for dinner at 9pm on a saturday night? Or when we're woken at 8am on a sunday by his work phone ringing.

If swearing at people on an internet forum makes you feel a big man then knock yourself out, but please, don't swear at me again. That was unnecessarily agressive.

scoot on

I normally don't phone my bf at work unless it's for something important. He'll ring me though, depending on if he's busy or not. Sometimes he rings me when he's quiet and we'll talk for five or ten minutes. I have caller ID on the phone in work so if I'm busy or my manager wants something done urgently and I know they don't want me on the phone I won't answer.
I like getting calls from him during the day. It breaks up the day and gives me a bit of a laugh for a few minutes and then back to the grindstone.

angeldelight

The only jobs I've had since being with my bf have been part-time ones (talk at every break, free phonecalls) and the other one I was in an empty lab all day so could phone/text to hearts content. He rang me all the time too, but we do like to talk to each other an awful lot!

Dunno how I'll manage when start new job in october, not allowed to have anything on me when working including mobile

BubbleWrap85

I don't see what the problem is.

He can obviously ring her or see her AFTER work, why the necessity for contact during the day?! Work is work at the end of the day.

Private lives are supposed to be separate. Unless it's an emergency obviously. But if it's for a chat or something trivial I whole heartedly agree that it should be left until he is finished work.

herya

Lunch break is for social life... Limit your talking to the lunch break! Or do you hate her calling AT ALL? That would be a bit extreme unless it's mindless blabbing only?

Apart from lunch break I would only phone him if something important comes up, and then I would keep it rather short. If he has free time during the day he would ring me then, if not - not. I'm more flexible and usually can take calls at any time and if I can't talk I'd say so and ring off.

*Lees*

In my job I spend a lot of my day alone! As in, no other person in the whole building! It's quiet in here a lot of the time and gets very boring! My boyfriend works for himself so he has a lot of freetime so we'd usually talk on the phone 2 or 3 times during working hours! Then again, my friends who have freetime at work would call me throughout the day but the ones who have busy jobs I would never hear from them in work!
It all depends on both of your situations!! With some jobs it's just not possible to take calls during the day! Explain that to her and she should understand!! That's if shes not one of those psycho girlfriends who needs to know what your doing all the time!!! :P

trio

Depends on the girl/relationship, but I do think that if you're ringing her in the evenings, then you shouldn't need to talk during the day. A text should suffice. But bear in mind that she has different ideas of how a relationship should be conducted than you. She thinks this is not only normal, but compulsory.

I went out with a guy years ago who seemed to think it was in "The Boyfriends Charter" that he had to ring me every single day. Like, he seemed to think that's what boyfriends did. I HATED it. I had no news! I felt under pressure to be interesting and bubbly on the phone every bloody day, when I had nothing to bloody talk about. Why? Cos nothing had happened in the intervening 12 hours since I'd talked to him last!

It got to the stage where I'd glance at the clock, spot "his call time" was fast approaching, and I'd tense up. He was a lovely guy, but I was stressed trying to think of new things to say.

Now I'm married. For the first year of our relationship we saw each other at weekends, and we'd usually ring each other on a Wednesday night in between for a good laugh and chat. That was GREAT in comparison. I always had a good bit of craic built up, and I actually looked forward to ringing him. And the other nights I didn't even have to think about it.

The 2nd year, when things got serious and we were talking about getting engaged, then it went up to every evening, but only for 5 mins at a time (to say goodnight basically). We never rang each other during the day at all, even at this stage - though might exchange a text or two if something hilarious happened at work, or you remembered a good joke - that sort of thing.

The 3rd year we were living together and engaged, and that's when we started occasionally ringing each other at lunchtime - just to say hi. But I stress that this was only because we both had really boring lunchtimes, and both knew that the other person would be just reading the newspaper for an hour. And it was never more than 5 mins. Usually along the lines of "Did you hear that joke on the radio this morning?" etc. And it's still only about 2 days out of five - when we're particularly bored. And to be honest, probably if we saw each other in the mornings (we don't) we wouldn't even bother that much. Sometimes I ring because I know he had a bad sleep and I want to see if he's wrecked or OK. I wouldn't need to if he'd been awake when I left the house.

But the bottom line is, unless you say it to her then it's going to continue. Say you just don't have time, and you feel uncomfortable talking on the phone. Tell her you'll have to keep it to texts during the day and you'll ring her at night. I was too cowardly to say it to my previous boyfriend and it did kinda put me off him a bit in the end.

DancingDaisy

I see my b/f almost everyday and if it's likely we won't see each other than we do ring each other quite a bit. I work in a pretty informal office during the summer and he works in Civil Service during the summer, so were as he will text me during the day as he can't really use his phone, I tend to ring him on his lunch. I don't really have a set lunch so he is welcome to ring me throughout the day when I'm in the office.

I think it depends purely on the relationship, we have been together a little over two years, and we have always been in the habit of ringing or texting eachother about silly little things, but if he rings me in the office and I'm too busy to talk, I just cancel the call and send a text that I will get back to him when it calms down.

I'm sure your girlfriend only wnts to let you know she is thinking of you, ao if it is really bothering you then ask her nicely to send you a text message and that you will happily get back to her as soon as you can, and maybe also make the point that you enjoy getting texts from her during the day so that she doesn't feel that you are telling her you don't want her contacting you.

If it is a case that you don't want her contacting you, then there might be a small possibility that she has more invested in the relationship than you and it might be something that ye should talk about. (I'm probably wrong though!):)

Aurora Borealis

No you're not being unfair. That is as long as you don't expect her to always be readily available for your calls or texts. Work is work.

Some of the posts here shock me.
What the hell is wrong with chatting or texting with your loved one during the day?

Ignoring loved ones in the day is a dumping issue if you ask me.
Fair enough if you havent time or are busy..then you get back to them and say sorry..hey I was busy.

All this nonsense about it being inappropriate is indicative of a lack of spark in the relationship.

You just don't love each other properly.
If you did,you'd be getting that little twitch down below everytime,you are onto him/her instead of all this pc nonsense

MissHoneyBun

My boyfriend and I live together but we still end up calling or texting each other throughout the day. Sometimes for specific purposes, sometimes just to have a quick chat. But thats just us. All relationships are different OP, there are no rulebooks just whatever works for you and your partner. In this instance you're not happy with being in touch so often. Clearly that would merit having a quick sit down with your other half and explaining your situation. Do so calmly and clearly. Don't expect your partner to be a mindreader. For things to change, even minor things, they need to be discussed openly. It might be worth bearing in mind that quite often problems can be rectified with some decent communication. I say decent because even though your complaint lies in talking too much to your partner, there is little true communication. Have a chat and sort it out.

John Mason

i would rarely call my OH in work. I dont have his work number and he doesnt have mine

i would be telling your g/f to cope on to herself and grow up

i really annoys when i hear work colleagues on to their partners contineously

DancingDaisy

I don't think telling somebody you are in a relationshiip with to grow up and cop on because they like to keep in contact during the day is really the best way to deal with it. If it bothers you so much for a reason other than your management then ye may well be incompatible in that area and you will have to make it clear to your g/f. While if it is just because management frown upon it, and you are too busy to answer the phone to her then just explain the situation.

If you are in a relationship then you should feel comfortable enough to speak truthfully about these things with eachother.

Every relationship differs, and you just have to figure out what is right for yours.

LegacyUser

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Depends on:
The girl.
The Job.
The Employer.
How Many times do you see her in the week?
Do you live together?

There is no blanket answer. If you calmly tell her that you cant take calls at work unless important then that should suffice. If, however, you aren't seeing her much, dont have a demanding job and just don't want to talk to her then that's a deeper PI again!

We live together and have been going out 2 years, my Manager is fine with it as their really flexible on working hours etc. Just im so busy dealing with critical stuff. I dunno, maybe i'm just looking at it as work is important, their paying you to do your Job and that payment doesn't include chats on the phone etc ..

bills

i live with my OH & obviously see him every day. Never ring him at work unless in an emergency etc.. usually ring his mobile. He wouldnt be impressed with me ringing for a chat- does not bother me! We talk at home.

However, its obviously a sensitive point for your girlfriend, so i would approach that talk carefully. Try & compromise.

CathyMoran

We are married and work in the same building. We still email,ring and textx one another several times a day, though it might only be for a short while. We also meet for morning break and lunch. He still gives me goosebumps whenever we are in contact and when we are apart I kiss my rings as I miss him so much! I think that you should keep contact at the level that works for both of you, we just love being with one another as much as possible and would happily retire to be with one another if it was possible.

jesus_thats_gre

helena.ryan wrote: »

Why would you assume that I ring to "yak about who I saw in the supermarket"? Or do you assume that I don't work for some reason that I would be in a supermarket while he's slaving away?

You think it's fair that someones life is a constant "oh I'll be with you in a minute" because his boss calls while we're out for dinner at 9pm on a saturday night? Or when we're woken at 8am on a sunday by his work phone ringing.

If swearing at people on an internet forum makes you feel a big man then knock yourself out, but please, don't swear at me again. That was unnecessarily agressive.

Issues!!!

Tragedy

I'd always text during the day, but would never call. You can wait to read/reply to a text but calls interrupt you.

Tha Gopher

helena.ryan wrote: »

Why would you assume that I ring to "yak about who I saw in the supermarket"? Or do you assume that I don't work for some reason that I would be in a supermarket while he's slaving away?

Fine. What is the earth shatteringly important news you regularly call with?

You think it's fair that someones life is a constant "oh I'll be with you in a minute" because his boss calls while we're out for dinner at 9pm on a saturday night? Or when we're woken at 8am on a sunday by his work phone ringing.

Would you rather he worked in Burger King? Someone who is this on-call likely gets paid well for being like that.

If you ever happen to find yourself needing the assistance of the fire brigade in a country town chances are your rescuers are people who werent in work but have to be depended on to drop everything if an emergency call comes through.

If swearing at people on an internet forum makes you feel a big man then knock yourself out, but please, don't swear at me again. That was unnecessarily agressive.

Swearing?

The behaviour some of the women in this thread are describing is obsessive.

kizzyr

insomnia08 wrote: »

Im a girl and I don´t like talking too much on the phone either. Getting texts from the boyfriend while at work is sweet though.

Why don´t you tell her to text you instead? Tell her you will text back asap, but you are busy and she needs to understand. Tell her you´d rather talk after work when you are more relaxed.

I´m sure she won´t have any problem with that

+1 My OH is in a very busy job so I send him a "hi, how are you, how is your day going?" text in the morning, he replies and then thats it for the day. I'm perfetly fine with that. To be honest there are times I'm too busy to be able to deal with the phone calls I have to answer for work never mind extra ones from him.

pickarooney

Just use Instant Messaging and answer whenever you have time.

kizzyr

CathyMoran wrote: »

We are married and work in the same building. We still email,ring and textx one another several times a day, though it might only be for a short while. We also meet for morning break and lunch. He still gives me goosebumps whenever we are in contact and when we are apart I kiss my rings as I miss him so much! I think that you should keep contact at the level that works for both of you, we just love being with one another as much as possible and would happily retire to be with one another if it was possible.

Seriously:eek: I love my OH to bits but we live together, see each other in the morning and evening and may / may not be in touch with each other during the day. The 8 hour or so parting every day is quite ok, to be honest I like it. I'd find it claustrophobic for us to be around each other all day every day and I know he feels the same way.

CathyMoran

Sorry< my laptop is acting up so quoting the wrong way> Each to their own< we just really enjoy spending time with one another< I have dated guys who liked a lot of space and was fine with it but my hubby really likes contact and I grew to really like it too>

kizzyr wrote: »

Seriously:eek: I love my OH to bits but we live together, see each other in the morning and evening and may / may not be in touch with each other during the day. The 8 hour or so parting every day is quite ok, to be honest I like it. I'd find it claustrophobic for us to be around each other all day every day and I know he feels the same way.

kizzyr

CathyMoran wrote: »

Sorry< my laptop is acting up so quoting the wrong way> Each to their own< we just really enjoy spending time with one another< I have dated guys who liked a lot of space and was fine with it but my hubby really likes contact and I grew to really like it too>

Sure whatever works for you and your arrangement obviously does.