Lonely

LegacyUser

I’m in my 30s, I have loads of friends (although most of them are married or in long term relationships) a good social life, not out drinking every weekend but still I have a good time.
I go to the gym on regular basis, I’ve recently taken up some water sports and I enjoy the outdoors but I’m very lonely, I would like to have someone in my life that loves me and wants to be with me.
When I’m out I do get chatted up and I’ve given my number to a few guys but they never follow up, I’ve tried the on line dating thing but it’s not for me. I don’t go out every weekend looking for the man of my dreams and I don’t come across as desperate, mainly I’m just having a good time and generally get chatted up if I go to the bar or the usual ways....
Does anyone have any ideas how I can fix this or am I doing it right and just haven’t found the right person yet?

Kevster

Hi,

I'm 25 at the moment and worry about the possibility of ending-up alone too (I have been single for three years now). Anyway, this may sound terribly arrogant of me but maybe the type of guy for you won't be found in a pub/nightclub. Maybe you are more compatible with something 'different'. Basically - what I'm getting at is - try different approaches to - well - everything in your life. Be sure to do things that make you happy too (if you aren't already doing so). If you are happy, others are more likely to view you in a positive light.

Take care,
Kevin

SarahSassy

It sounds like you are doing everything right. The most important thing is not to go out looking to meet someone....

Do you have a positive attitude towards it? I mean do you believe it will eventually happen or do you believe it wont happen to you???

LegacyUser

Kevster wrote: »

Hi,

this may sound terribly arrogant of me but maybe the type of guy for you won't be found in a pub/nightclub.

This dosen't sound arrogant at all, I do agree and it is probably the reason I don't actively go to pubs looking for guys. I stopped entertaining guys in pubs for a while and then decided that there are probably some really nice guys to meet in pubs and the guys that I meet generally are. However, I'm not the type of person who would go home with a guy the first time I meet him and maybe this is the problem BUT it's one thing I'm not willing to change for anyone.

I'm not in anyway giving up at and 25 you have plenty of time so don't worry.

Hopefully I will meet someone nice be it in a pub or other situations and hopefully it will be soon :-)

LegacyUser

[QUOTE= I mean do you believe it will eventually happen or do you believe it wont happen to you???[/QUOTE]

I believe it will happen I just want it to happen sooner rather than later :-)

It just gets to me some times watching all my friends get married and have children and I'm still on my own....generally I'm okay with it all it's just getting to me a bit in the last week or so.

insomnia08

We all have that fear sometimes. Keep busy, make plans, travel,have you own interests, keep your mind out of men.

Don´t force anything to meet a man.. they come to you. In the end they come, and when HE comes to you, you have to be happy and with enough interesting things to tell to hold a conversation, making him want to call you up.. and start a relationship...

Cherry up girl. You sound as a nice person. Think of that song of Phil Collins "You can´t hurry love". It´s true..

x

Gemini Sister

I'm going break the usual rule here and say DO go out looking a little bit more. I know the hobbies etc. are the way to go but there's nothing wrong with bars & parties or whatever either. Aim to have FUN with the whole flirting thing even if they're necessarily ideal... it will help you remember you are attractive while you're waiting for the next big thing. And not all guys in bars are that bad if you go to good places.
Try to go out with one or two other single friends & just for fun as opposed to 'love'. If you're having fun & it won't feel so pressured... after that, its just a patience game... but in my circle a good few of the longterm singles have gotten sorted in the last year or so... it does happen.

SarahSassy

Unreg2008 wrote: »

I believe it will happen I just want it to happen sooner rather than later :-)

It just gets to me some times watching all my friends get married and have children and I'm still on my own....generally I'm okay with it all it's just getting to me a bit in the last week or so.

Listen this is TOTALLY understandable but the fact that you have belief that you will meet someone, combined with your social life etc means that there is a great chance you will.

Good advice was to keep busy so you have plenty to talk about when you do meet him... Believe me I do know how hard it is and esp how hard it is to stay positive but if you lose that positivity you are banjaxed...

You sound like a great catch and like you have your head screwed on... Just keep enjoying yourself, putting yourself out there and maybe give the internet thing a go again. Its does work!!!!!!!!! Another option is to suss out your friends husband's / boyfriends friends... You never know...

If you are registered PM me and Ill tell you how it can all change in an instant.

Kevster

Unreg2008 wrote: »

However, I'm not the type of person who would go home with a guy the first time I meet him and maybe this is the problem BUT it's one thing I'm not willing to change for anyone.

Whilst this might appear to be a problem, it isn't really because would you actually want to hook-up with a guy who only wants you for your body (and not your beautiful mind)? Admittedly, I know of many guys who have no intention of dating girls, and who only want them for their bodies (they would even lie to them to get their way). However, there ARE other guys out there (like me) who think about the beauty of the mind first, before considering the physical side of a relationship.

... ...keep trying , I guess. I have learned that these things hit us when we least expect them to.

Take care,
Kevin.