Another Ex Story.... Sorry Guys

LegacyUser

Regular poster here, going unregged here.

This has been wrecking my head for the longest time and I need to get it all of my chest.

I broke up with my ex bf in March of last year. We had dated for 3 years and I loved him deeply. I don't know why I ended it, but I was going through a bad patch at the time in college and I was suffering with depression and anxiety and being treated for both, so in short I think I wasn't thinking straight.

About 4 weeks later I met him and asked him if we could get back together (he knew of my medical issues). He said no, that he had met someone else, (who was 18 - my ex was 24). I was devastated. Then about a month later he told me he finished with the new girl, that she had moved back to France and he wanted to give things another go with me. It was doomed. We did it for about 2 months and he never really was fully in it was constantly telling me how much the French girl was better than me. That was just over a year ago.

Since then I've finished college, started a job and spiralled in and out of depression. He insists that we have to be friends and wants us to meet up every week. I often don't want to see him because my head is just so ****ed up. He says he doesnt want to date me, but wants to be friends and says he finds me attractive but doesnt want me as a gf because he's "moved on". He goes to France every couple of months to see that girl and theyre in contact constantly. Whenever I suggest not seeing each other for a while he makes a big deal out of it and says I'm ending our friendship.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel about him now. Sometimes I love him and sometimes I hate him. But the ways things are between us I don't feel like I can properly move on. I have had a couple of one night stands in the last year but haven't dated and guys.

So, I just need advice, what do I do, I'm getting desperate!
Thanks

jellie

if you want to move on then cut contact. if hes still in your life & youre seeing him regularly youre only making things harder for yourself.

georgem25

sar84 wrote: »

if you want to move on then cut contact. if hes still in your life & youre seeing him regularly youre only making things harder for yourself.

+1
You can never move on if you are meeting him regularly

rescue26

If he was really trully your friend, he wouldnt be making a big deal out of you not seeing him the whole time. Sounds like he wants to have you and the other girl on the go but not committing to either of ye. Cut this guy out of your life, he is doing nothing to help you get better and get your head sorted out. Like I said no way is he acting like a friend. He's full of it and the sooner you stop seeing him the better it will be for you, Good Luck.:)

MJOR

Cut contact with this guy. He is being a dog in a manger!

TheDriver

HIs a loafer, cut all contact with him and start to make new friends. Try meeting a new guy or enjoy life with your friends, something to just get rid of him from your mind.
Best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice everyone! My best friend and my mother have both told me to cut all ties with him as well. But, how do I do it? Like do I just ring him and say I don't want to talk to or see you again? And then what do I do when he makes a big issue out of it and starts making me feel guilty? Also, what do I do if he subsequently contacts me?

brianthebard

You have no reason to feel guilty,he hasn't been a good friend while you've tried your best.Maybe just tell him you don't want to go out with him next time he tries to get you to.When he asks why say you have to look after yourself and feel your relationship isn't good for you.If he gets angry then that'll just be more proof that he doesn't really care for you.

rescue26

Tell him you cant be friends with him as its unfair on you as your not too sure how you feel about him and its wreaking your head. You dont owe him anything, all he is doing is messing with your head. Just tell him you want to move on with your life and for now you cant be friends with him, maybe down the line when you have yourself sorted. If he contacts you after that, dont ans the phone or reply to him cos if you do, he will stay bothering you. Like others have said Cut ALL contact, for now anyway.:)

SnowMonkey

hey Op...
what i would sayis look after you, if you feel you, havent moved on then move on brake contact your aloud. aat the end of the day you need to do whats right buy you not buy him you need to heal, and he sounds like a muppet if he says things like that....

and know your not getting desperate...

Jack Sheehan

Cut contact. Your Ex is using you and it seems to be messing with your life seriously. What hes doing is extremely selfish and you should't tolerate it any longer.

craichoe

AnotherExStory wrote: »

Thanks for the advice everyone! My best friend and my mother have both told me to cut all ties with him as well. But, how do I do it? Like do I just ring him and say I don't want to talk to or see you again? And then what do I do when he makes a big issue out of it and starts making me feel guilty? Also, what do I do if he subsequently contacts me?

Its simple, stop talking to him, change your phone number. Move on and become comfortable with who YOU are, don't even think about looking for someone else at this stage, this guy is a tool and is using mind games to manipulate you.

SnowMonkey

craichoe wrote: »

Its simple, stop talking to him, change your phone number. Move on and become comfortable with who YOU are, don't even think about looking for someone else at this stage, this guy is a tool and is using mind games to manipulate you.

agreed dont allow your self to be put threw this walk away.

outspann

There's an easy test you can do:

Next time he rings, tell him that it's messing you up and that you really need to cut ties and move on. Anything else is too difficult.

- If he agrees and leaves you alone, then he has your best interests at heart.

- If however he gets angry, or agrees but keeps contacting you, then he only really cares about himself; he doesn't care about you or how bad it makes you feel. And that's not the actions of a true friend.

LegacyUser

Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate it. I kinda knew what I had to do, I just needed other people to tell me I guess. He is away on hols till this weekend, but I know he'll text me when he gets back so I will tell him then I need there to be no contact between us..