What do you make of this?

LegacyUser

Hi,

Firstly, thanks for reading this I'll keep it brief
I've been seeing/dating a guy now for the past 2 and a half months, seeing each other once to twice a week.
We had arranged something for Thurs night...but about 2 hours beforehand I get a text saying "Things aren't working out" pretty much. I basically got dumped by text.
Anyway, I was obviously shocked, a bit upset...but also quite annoyed.
I didn't dignify his text with a response and just accepted that he obviously wasn't as into me as he made out.

Anyway, fast forward a few days, with no contact...when all of a sudden I get a text asking would I meet up "to talk"....

What do you make of this...?

Surely the talking should've been done before the dumping.
I'm in two minds whether to meet up or not.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking, but would just like an opinion on this...

Thanks!

Confused.com

Lollipops23

hey OP, reckon maybe give him a ring and ask him to explain himself-at least that way you get an explanation to his bizzare behaviour!sounds like he got spooked about the relationship to me......

DiscoHugh

I personally wouldn't give somebody who'd do such a thing as dump you by text the time of day. Maybe he's going through some issues or something but still, I wouldn't accept it.

keystone

He is either:

Married
Involved
Not interested
Looking for make up sex (I know guys who do this after about 2-3 months)

Best of luck.

The only advise to listen to here is your own. Do what feels best for you.

wasper

Confused.com wrote: »

Hi,

Firstly, thanks for reading this I'll keep it brief
I've been seeing/dating a guy now for the past 2 and a half months, seeing each other once to twice a week.
We had arranged something for Thurs night...but about 2 hours beforehand I get a text saying "Things aren't working out" pretty much. I basically got dumped by text.
Anyway, I was obviously shocked, a bit upset...but also quite annoyed.
I didn't dignify his text with a response and just accepted that he obviously wasn't as into me as he made out.

Anyway, fast forward a few days, with no contact...when all of a sudden I get a text asking would I meet up "to talk"....

What do you make of this...?

Surely the talking should've been done before the dumping.
I'm in two minds whether to meet up or not.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking, but would just like an opinion on this...

Thanks!

Confused.com

Just ignore him until he apologies for his erratic behaviour in dumping you by text.

jellie

he dumped you by text, he really doesnt deserve any of your time.

he couldnt take the time to meet you & break up in person, why should you take the time to meet him for whatever reason.

spinandscribble

he realised his mistake or he missed out on the drama of you texting him back asking "sniff, sniff, why?!?" and wants to tell you in person. personally i wouldn't bother with him .

Jet Black

keystone wrote: »

He is either:

Married
Involved
Not interested
Looking for make up sex (I know guys who do this after about 2-3 months)

Best of luck.

The only advise to listen to here is your own. Do what feels best for you.

Agree with most of this. Personally I would tell him to f off.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the quick replies.

Yeah, I'm going to have to mull it over I reckon.

I have a few ideas as to why he wants to meet up.
I'm thinking maybe it's
1. To make himself feel less ****ty about dumping my by text.
2. He got freaked about the relationship, as one poster said, and now wants to talk it over or simply explain it.
3. He has possibly changed his mind
4. Maybe he is a semi-decent guy and realises I deserve a proper explanation, face-to-face.

Hmmmm...

Half of me is curious as to what he wants to actually say. Another part of me doesn't want to waste another second on him. Another part of me (the stubborn part) doesn't want to meet up with him just so that he can feel a bit better about his childish behaviour.

If it was my friend asking my advise i'd probably tell her to forget about him. Anyone who dumps someone by text doesn't deserve any more time being wasted on him.

I cant help being curious though...

Hmmmm.

Thanks for all responses

littlefriend

Jesus don't meet him. Certainly not on the strength of him texting you asking to meet.
If he has the balls to call to your house then maybe give him a chance to explain. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for bad treatment from him in the future. I hope you haven't replied to him

AARRRGH

If you're already moved on, don't meet him.

If you haven't moved on and are wondering what the hell happened, meet him.

chickenhawk

I'd give him a call or a text and ask him to explain himself. There could be many reasons for it. I would keep my guard up when talking to him and not believe everything he says but I would let him explain. If nothing else it might give you peace of mind and let you move on.

STUBBORNGIRL

hey Op

This guy sounds very familiar to a guy i was seeing!(could be same guy for all i know)

He would keep texting me telling me we shouldnt be meeting up anymore then on a fri/Sat night he would send a text saying - can we talk, will i call? Now i have fallen for these antics every time and when he would call we wouldnt talk just have sex - and he would make his excuses and leave the next morning. Anyway i see what these guys have in common is they are in control - and while they are in control they know that they can have us when it suits them! Take this control away from them by not giving into their every command! i have not answered calls or responded to texts at all hours in the morning and i would urge you to do one of the following ....

1. Respond telling him that you feel no reason to have a chat and that you are respecting the decision he made in a previous text to you.

2. ignore the text and move on with your life knowign that there is a guy out there that would not treat you like this.

3. Meet him face to face and see what he has to say with no intention of getting back with him but letting him know that you find his behaviour childish and that you need a man in your life not a little boy that is hopeless at communication

BUT end of this guy is not good news and you would be better nipping it in the bud now before it gets too deep and then it is very hard to walk away.

BEst of luck to you and whichever path you choose, Im sure it will all work out

MagicMarker

forget about that mo fo

Pub07

He wants sex. He thought he'd break up with you so he'd be free to go and get laid on the weekends with whoever he wanted. Obviously he didn't score this weekend and he now needs "to talk".

StormWarrior

Listen to your gut feelings. Do you want to know what he has to say? If you're not interested, just ignore the text and get on with your life. If you want to hear him out then meet up, but I really wouldn't take him back or give him sex if that's what he's after - he sounds unreliable and inconsiderate.

StormWarrior

Confused.com wrote: »

Another part of me (the stubborn part) doesn't want to meet up with him just so that he can feel a bit better about his childish behaviour.


I cant help being curious though...

I personally would try and fight my curiosity though, so that at least you end with the upper hand. At least it finished with you ignoring him, not him dumping you.

MJOR

I understand your curiosity really i do. I think the fact you didn't reply is probably getting on his nerves.

I'd give him a wide berth. He's not worth your time or your eneergy.

SandraG

I have to agree with previous poster - sounds like he may have a gfriend? :mad:

LegacyUser

SandraG wrote: »

I have to agree with previous poster - sounds like he may have a gfriend? :mad:

Hmmmm...maybe you guys have a point.
Maybe it's not an actual girlfriend...but someone he was planning on meeting this weekend. And maybe it didn't go to plan, hence his text to me asking to meet up to talk.
hmmm...

I am interested in hearing what he has to say...and would also like to tell him face to face that he acted in a childish way etc.
But on the other hand, why should I give him the time of day and why should i help him relieve some of the guilt he's probably feeling for acting like such as a*shole and dumping me by text.

Thanks for all your replies