Am I being paranoid?

LegacyUser

im 22, curvey but wouldnt describe myself as fat. however from a very young aged i was bullied at school for being overweight (which i was) id like to think i have a fairly good body image about myself

but when im at work, walking down a street, in a pub i think that people are looking at me and thinking to themselves that im fat, this has been going on a few months now, i feel realy self conscious about myself, im always comparing myself to other girls and if their slim il pick out fault with them i know it sounds terrible but thats what i do.


ive lost weight in the past few months just due to excerising more, i get plenty of attention from men but i still feel inadequate about my body. most people would describe me as being very confident but i just dont feel that way anymore.
can someone tell me if im going crazy or do other people experience this?
does anyone else ever feel like this?


i could be in a pub and some lad will be looking at me but il think that hes thinking shes fat, then 2 mins later he walks up to me and starts chatting me up.
i have no reason to feel this way....do i?please help as i think i may be going a bit loop-d-loop

RedXIV

Its a leftover reminant of your days being bullied and happens to more people than you think. I was horrifically bullied between the ages of 10 and 14 until i got my growth spurt (6ft at 14, no one will touch ya ) but for ages, i was still conscious that people might remember the old me that was bullied and i did develop paranoia about my appearance. I broke my nose a few times (clumsy as hell) and as a result, it looks like one of those fake nose's witchs wear at halloween. and this was depressing.

BUT (and it wouldn't be a Red Post without some light at the end of the tunnel) I did get over it. It took a mental effort but i did. And you are going to find it easier than i am because in your own words, you are getting approached alot. I didn't have that, i had to rely on people not running and screaming from me

You need to start realising that if you were as bad as you thought, guys wouldn't approach you. Guys depend on visual stimulation to keep us interested and what you're providing is obviously working. You, through this logic, look good. FACT! and if you keep telling yourself that, you will eventually believe it

Hope it happens sooner than later OP

Red

PurpleBerry

Yes, you'll be surprised how bullying can affect you in later life. I used to be picked on for having blue eyes. Even now I wear brown-coloured contacts and people call me nuts for hiding blue eyes behind brown.

Don't worry OP, this is quite normal and can be treated. Start off by (this may sound odd but go with it) pretending that you have confidence. Stick your shoulders back, take a deep breath and saunter off into the world like you own it (or, own your place in it). Others will pick up on your attitude and treat you as a person who has a lot to be confident about. Which will in turn increase your confidence. And the cycle continues.

LegacyUser

thanks for your advice

you've no idea i actually thought i was going mad

you know for years i thought i was over the whole bullying thing, but im obviously not, i live away from home now but even when i am home,im so conscious when i go out, even though the people that bullied me dont reconise me anymore, ive changed alot, and alot of them have apologised over what they put me through, so they obviously have some respect for me.

although i know your person is not based solely on looks, i feel as if people have treated me solely on my looks, im a decent person but that was never taken into consideration, instead people judged me on how i looked. its just difficult i suppose to overcome that and realise that im a whole lot more

AngryBadger

OP I think this is more to do with how you see yourself than how other people see you.

I can understand that being bullied about your weight will have made you very self-conscious about it, however what's actually happening is that when you go out YOU think everyone is looking at you and being critical, the reality is you're being critical of yourself, and then projecting that onto people around you.

You see a woman who has a figure that you think is better than yours, and you automatically assume that she's looking at you with disdain, however she probably hasn't even noticed you, but since you've introduced this idea in your own head you feel bad, and then you feel angry, and so you make some remark.

Most people feel this way about themselves for one reason or another now and then.

My advice; give yourself a break Try to stop worrying about what you imagine everyone else thinks, I mean who cares really? When all is said and done, the only person you have to answer to is yourself, and if you feel bad it's because you feel bad about yourself and not what other people are saying.

Go out and enjoy yourself, forget what you think is being said, it makes no difference anyway,and you'll find that when you stop obsessing about it, you'll be much happier with yourself and your body. best of luck!

stcatherine

whyamilikethis wrote: »

thanks for your advice

you've no idea i actually thought i was going mad

you know for years i thought i was over the whole bullying thing, but im obviously not, i live away from home now but even when i am home,im so conscious when i go out, even though the people that bullied me dont reconise me anymore, ive changed alot, and alot of them have apologised over what they put me through, so they obviously have some respect for me.

although i know your person is not based solely on looks, i feel as if people have treated me solely on my looks, im a decent person but that was never taken into consideration, instead people judged me on how i looked. its just difficult i suppose to overcome that and realise that im a whole lot more

Hun,

I know exactly how you feel, I had a terrible thing happen to me at college with ref to bullying and my weight and it took me 15 years to get over it.
The sad thing is when I look back at pictures of me from that time I am no where near as fat as I believed.
I had these tiny wrists and wore these huge clothes to hide fat that didnt exist.

Now I really am Fat, I am way above the weight I should be and I am trying constantly to lose it, but you know what ? I feel sexier now than ever.

I have a great husband and a number of admirers who think I am an amazing, sexy, woman.

I'll be honest when I look in the mirror I don't see what they see, but I accept what they are saying and it gives me the confidence to walk the streets with my head held high, and believe it or not people notice when you have confidence.

You just have to believe in yourself, at the end of the day these people on the streets are only part of your life for a fleeting second, it's the one who are around you day to day that matter and I bet they all adore you !

LegacyUser

thanks for all your comments they've given me a perspective on things
and it is true im very hard on myself and i know its because of how feel that i think people are judging me.
really appreciate all the comments and its god to hear that other people have felt like this cheers