Am I in my rights to be pissed off here

nicolo

ok was sitting about earlier and I decided I was in the mood fer a pint I was talking to my girlfriend she said she was going out for a pint with one of her friends and that a mutual friend was also going to be there. I said I might head into town and would they like to meet up, she said yeah cool. then she decideds thats its a girls night, which I said yeah cool too and said I'd just head into our usual pub with the mutual friend (who is also a guy)
so she says that her and her friend will drop in on us for a pint before they go on their merry way which was all cool with me.
so she hangs out with us for awhile and then asks if I'd like to just come with them as they are going to a club and its not taht big a deal so i said yeah
she then moments later decides its once again a girls night out and that I can't go so I said yeah ok then she ask if its ok if one of her (most recent) exes is there. now in my logic the concept of a guy being there negates it being a girls night out the concept of it being an ex doubly so, but I went 'yeah sure ok go ahead catch you later' as i trust her and such so she heads off.
now I'm very good friends with several of my exes so I'm not one to start waving fingers about and getting pissed cept one of said exes showed up in the pub before my girlfriend left and after she left she came over and had a pint
current girlfriend asks how my night is going through text and I said that I was hanging out with folk and that [insert ex girlfriends name] had come over to say hi.
so my girlfriends gets very peeved and starts sending pissed off texts before just stopping texting. leaving me to assume shes still pissed off with me, in another night club, with her ex, who's a dick.

so when she got home she called me and I flipped out at her. basically my argument goes, why should she be able to go on a girls night out with her ex boyfriend then get pissed at me when I talk to my ex?

do i have a point here? or am I just being a jerk

hussey

You have a valid point, if it is a girly night, then it should be a girly night, and having an ex there kinda blows that theory.

I am guessing she didn't want the Ex and Current in same room (you called him a d*ck, maybe she thought something might kick off??)

and then see you were drinking with your ex, again, she could have been thinking: he's only drinking with his ex, because I am, with mine.

Flipping out probably wouldn't have helped at all, as you may come across a bit jealous. You should just point out her ridiculous double standard and leave it at that.

nicolo

yeah good point cept my ex was in the pub without any help from me and my gf knew she was there

hussey

nicolo wrote: »

yeah good point cept my ex was in the pub without any help from me and my gf knew she was there

Then that just cements your point

Carrigart Exile

nicolo wrote: »

ok was sitting about earlier and I decided I was in the mood fer a pint I was talking to my girlfriend she said she was going out for a pint with one of her friends and that a mutual friend was also going to be there. I said I might head into town and would they like to meet up, she said yeah cool. then she decideds thats its a girls night, which I said yeah cool too and said I'd just head into our usual pub with the mutual friend (who is also a guy)
so she says that her and her friend will drop in on us for a pint before they go on their merry way which was all cool with me.
so she hangs out with us for awhile and then asks if I'd like to just come with them as they are going to a club and its not taht big a deal so i said yeah
she then moments later decides its once again a girls night out and that I can't go so I said yeah ok then she ask if its ok if one of her (most recent) exes is there. now in my logic the concept of a guy being there negates it being a girls night out the concept of it being an ex doubly so, but I went 'yeah sure ok go ahead catch you later' as i trust her and such so she heads off.
now I'm very good friends with several of my exes so I'm not one to start waving fingers about and getting pissed cept one of said exes showed up in the pub before my girlfriend left and after she left she came over and had a pint
current girlfriend asks how my night is going through text and I said that I was hanging out with folk and that [insert ex girlfriends name] had come over to say hi.
so my girlfriends gets very peeved and starts sending pissed off texts before just stopping texting. leaving me to assume shes still pissed off with me, in another night club, with her ex, who's a dick.

so when she got home she called me and I flipped out at her. basically my argument goes, why should she be able to go on a girls night out with her ex boyfriend then get pissed at me when I talk to my ex?

do i have a point here? or am I just being a jerk

You are completely within your rights, she was displaying dreadful double standards.....welcome to girlfriend logic. You do appreciate you will be expected to apologise.

MagicMarker

Yeah, double standards is right!! Tell her in future that girls night means only girls...

Although, you knew exactly what you were at when you mentioned you were with your ex. You were trying to give her a taste of her own medicine. Which, i probably would have done myself:D

kaimera

gf logic. Heh

Seriously tho, imo 'flipping out' at her prolly wasn't the best way to deal with it at the time. Back from the pub, pissed off etc etc not a good time.

Wibbs

GF logic have to add a heh too

Don't flip out at her. There's no point. Stay calm and state your case, that her behaviour was OTT the previous night and her reaction to your ex dropping over to your table was a bit much, given she was trippin the light fantastic in a club with her most recent ex. Also throw in you have no problem with her bumping into exes so long as everyones on the same page. You won't accept double standards. OR you could just leave it go and chalk it up to drink and only take her to task if she pulls the double standards again.

Quazzie

IMO you are an idiot for sending your ex off dancing and drinking with her ex then trying to p*ss her off by texting who you were with. Talk about setting yourself up for a fall.

Sugar Drunk

you are being reasonable, she is being unreasonable and has double standards. personally I hate the whole 'girls night' cr@p when its done in such a way that men are told 'you cant come we decided now that its girls only'. If she wanted a girls night out she should have specified that from the start. i would also have issues with the fact that it was a girls night so she asked you not to go but her ex was going to be there. fair play to you for taking that so well Id have been pissed about that. If her ex is there - its not a girls night. To be honest if my BF told me he was having a boys night out which I couldnt come to and then asked 'if it was okay' if his ex was there my answer would be hell no!

for her to go off at you for talking to your ex is incredible. she was happy to leave you alone to go off with her mates and her ex. what were you supposed to do? refrain from speaking to anyone all night? If anything she was pushing you and your ex together by leaving you both in the pub to go off for her night of fun??

if she had invited you along to the club you never would have ended up talking to your ex. shes totally in the wrong

WellyJ

MagicMarker wrote: »

You knew exactly what you were at when you mentioned you were with your ex. You were trying to give her a taste of her own medicine. Which, i probably would have done myself:D

If he hadnt told her that, and she found out later from someone else, then she would have been even more pissed.

Such is the mindset of women.

WilmaRidesAgain

WellyJ wrote: »

If he hadnt told her that, and she found out later from someone else, then she would have been even more pissed.

Such is the mindset of women.

:eek: Excuse yourself there please!! I think you mean mindset of SOME women!!!
A small minority of usually younger women who are still wearing L plates usually!!!

Anyway OP, explain to the dozy bint in no uncertain terms that:
1. she is being illogical
2. she is being hypocritical
3. she has failed to present a cogent argument
4. you are not impressed
5. any further hysterical posturing on her part will result in a yellow card

WilmaRidesAgain

Carrigart Exile wrote: »

You are completely within your rights, she was displaying dreadful double standards.....welcome to girlfriend logic. You do appreciate you will be expected to apologise.

Carrigart, if men continue letting girls like this get away with this [EMAIL="cr@p"]cr@p[/EMAIL] by apologising then they have only themselves to blame if she turns into a nightmare GF....

OP, do not apologise and if she turns on the tears do not crumple, its just the martyr act.

Harden your feckin heart to these machinations men!!!

seahorse

You'd both be better off getting all these ex's out of the picture imo.

Carrigart Exile

WilmaRidesAgain wrote: »

Carrigart, if men continue letting girls like this get away with this [EMAIL="cr@p"]cr@p[/EMAIL] by apologising then they have only themselves to blame if she turns into a nightmare GF....

OP, do not apologise and if she turns on the tears do not crumple, its just the martyr act.

Harden your feckin heart to these machinations men!!!

Thanks Wilma:D I was not suggesting for a minute he apologises, I was just advising that in the mind of certain girls he would be expected to

chuci

i eh think that you are within your rights to be annoyed. though if it was my boyfriend id prob be thinking he was rubbing in the ex thing. there is that girlfriend logic i guess

SarahSassy

You didnt do anything wrong here. You sound like a sensible guy who appeciates your gf wants her night out. The fact that she kept changing her mind was a bit suss and also very immature....

Dont worry about it and let her apologise. She does owe you one.