Internet Dating

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Not revealing my identity for this one. I recently started the internet dating ritual. I am onto my third first date. I am a 32 year guy and need to try something new. I am average looking and do not not stand out. I have signed up to a few sites and i got mixed results from trying this.

First one was totally physical. She did not want to leave hotel room. That threw me a curve ball. It was ok but i want so much more.

Second one i was really into her, bigtime. Took her out to dinner, drinks and complimented her on just about everything. Seemed to be going really well. Good eye contact and flirted like mad. Then we went to meet a few friends of hers. Big mistake. She completely ignored me for the rest of evening. She got very drunk and friends had to take her home. I sent her a text and told her i liked her. That was 10 days ago and after a few texts and emails, she doesnt reply. We were talking for hours before meeting. I am at a loss to know what i did wrong?

Now i am started talking to another girl. Shes nice. She has told me this is her 11th first date since febuary. Should i be worried about another rejection. I know she has a kid but that does not bother me at all. I am thinking of meeting her for dinner and drinks.

I just want to know how everyone else handles these blind dates and results. I am looking for something real, maybe in wrong places.

RedXIV

First off, internet dating really doesn't deserve the reputation it has, with a phenonomal number of people now using it, it doesn't actually deserve the "only geeks and socially inept people use it" label. I've met some AMAZING people from the internet.

And more people than you might imagine are in the same situation as you. last year the most looked up word from irish internet users was "lonely". As long as you remember that what you get online isn't the full package, you should be ok. Also, aspects of character may change from online to offline. I'm a culprit of this, as are most people i know.

But i would encourage you to go on these dates and don't let the fact that it started on the internet turn you off. or the fact that this girl may have been on 11 dates before you. she may be looking for someone special, and you may fit the bill.

Best of luck OP

Red

LegacyUser

i agree, internet dating is becoming more and more popular, people are getting fed up with meeting drunken people and having nothing some of it.
i have tried internet dating and must have went on 15 dates, only a few of the men i met i was interested in but most of the people i met were looking for nsa.....which is fine, but i was looking for alot more.
just be straight with people and let them know what your looking for otherwise things wil get confusing.
i was never nervous meeting any of my dates, never had a bad experience, just be confident and enjoy yourself.
look at it this way you'd consider it "normal" to go up to someone at a bar and chat them up, even though you dont know a thing about them.

Miss Fluff

OMG seriously? What kind of chick would end up sleeping with someone they have only just met on a first date from the internet?:eek: Best off without her methinks...some women are plain stupid.

Just relax it with all OP and try and steer clear of thinking "I wonder will this one be the one". You've had two dates so far for ffs. Think about it this way. If you were out at night, and the first two girls you decide to chat up didn't really click for you, would you then think, OK the next one that comes along definitley has to be "the one". No of course you wouldn't. Think of this online dating malarky as a way to expand your social circle and if you meet someone you can spend some time with then that's a huge bonus and maybe something can develop.

And just a tip. Although it is nice to be complemented, when done effusively this is a huge turn-off as the twentieth compliment in a night will sound like you are paying lip service so try not to be OTT.

SnowMonkey

InternetDater wrote: »

Second one i was really into her, bigtime. Took her out to dinner, drinks and complimented her on just about everything. Seemed to be going really well. Good eye contact and flirted like mad. Then we went to meet a few friends of hers. Big mistake. She completely ignored me for the rest of evening. She got very drunk and friends had to take her home. I sent her a text and told her i liked her. That was 10 days ago and after a few texts and emails, she doesnt reply. We were talking for hours before meeting. I am at a loss to know what i did wrong?

You complemented her on just about everything. thats a little over board but you have to draw the line. It give's off a message that could be seen as needy. not saying you are infact you sound like you have your head well and truely togeather. The syaing to much of a good thing can be seen as a bad thing could aply....

She probably was embarissed about the hole thing or maybe meeting her friends to early could of been the culperate.

You should meet the 3rd date, but take it slow mam, dont jump the gun take your time be cool.

go to www.askmen.com for info advise on dateing etc as its there and free, helps give you a great deal of advice towards dating....

good luck

Nuggles

You seem to have such high expectations. Expecting to have met "the one" after three dates. Geez I'd say most people on internet dating sites are doing it for fun. Course some do it hoping to find something more, but you need to be objective. Go on a date for fun instead of being in the mindset off "is this going to be a relationship?".

Ara who am I to talk, sure I met my current boyfriend via other boards :P

LegacyUser

Sounds like your putting too much into your 1st dates, after all and as people have said, not all personailty traits come across online as they would in person.

I prefer to keep my 1st dates casual, coffee during the daytime where i can dress casual, drive to and from the date etc. I go with no expectations, and if things click, then all and well, if not then the only thing lost was an hour from your day.

So dont loose hart and don't take it all too seriously.

cute_cow

I met my partner from an internet dating site over 7 years ago. We chatted and stuff for about 6 months met up and haven't looked back since.

i agree with RedXIV that Internet dating has a bad reputation. It depends what people are looking for. I received replies and all they were interested in was sex or picture collectors.

My advice is to stick with it, but don't jump into dating for a bit and you'll definetly know if they are genuine.

mbren

Hey OP,

I am a regular online dater and have met loads of girls this way. All i'd say is be patient and don't worry if girls give you the cold shoulder after a date.

I think it's a great way of meeting people as it usually doesn't invlolve drunken chats in a pub that you have to try and piece together the next day!

As for the number of dates your potential date has had?...so what? At least she is honest about it!!

LegacyUser

What kind of chick would end up sleeping with someone they have only just met on a first date from the internet?

To be honest, I dont see a huge difference between the above and meeting someone at a club and going home with them. Not that I disagree with your point necessarily. I just think some people dont see the similarity between sleeping with someone who you've only previously talked to online and sleeping with someone who you've met a hour or two previously and have shared little more than a brief drunken conversation.

That was 10 days ago and after a few texts and emails, she doesnt reply. We were talking for hours before meeting. I am at a loss to know what i did wrong?

Firstly, I think its rude for people to not reply to say they are not interested. It costs 10cents and is completely painless. Why this person couldnt say "I had a good time but I don't think we are compatible". Its a simple courtesy. If the other person doesnt get the message then fine, you can just ignore any further texts. Secondly, OP, if someone doesnt reply to your first text(or at most second), dont keep texting them. Any slim chance of anything further happening will be killed by such actions.

Overall, treat dates as a laugh and dont invest too much into them. Some dates work out, many dont. Just enjoy them for what they are and see what happens. Like someone else said, be patient. it might take 5, 20 or 50 dates to meet the future wife or girlfriend but in the meantime just have fun and dont take rejection to heart. It happens to everyone!

LegacyUser

internetdater

ive been in your position a few times.

i signed up toi a dating web site and found it difficult to meet genuine people who arent just after sex.

the thing is you have to taste a couple of rotten apples before you get to the perfect o ne.

if your clear in your own mind that you want someone with a little more depth then just sex well make it known , its very easy to fall into wanting something else because its available.

just be honest about what you want and you will get it, you may just need to filter through a few people first

best of luck

Victor

ivebeenthere, can I ask you to apy a little more attention to your spelling and grammar? It unfair on people, especially those with reading difficulties.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Miss Fluff wrote: »

OMG seriously? What kind of chick would end up sleeping with someone they have only just met on a first date from the internet?:.

What's the difference between that and any other type of one-night-stand..?!

InternetDater wrote: »

Hi Guys,

Not revealing my identity for this one. I recently started the internet dating ritual. I am onto my third first date. I am a 32 year guy and need to try something new. I am average looking and do not not stand out. I have signed up to a few sites and i got mixed results from trying this.

First one was totally physical. She did not want to leave hotel room. That threw me a curve ball. It was ok but i want so much more.

Second one i was really into her, bigtime. Took her out to dinner, drinks and complimented her on just about everything. Seemed to be going really well. Good eye contact and flirted like mad. Then we went to meet a few friends of hers. Big mistake. She completely ignored me for the rest of evening. She got very drunk and friends had to take her home. I sent her a text and told her i liked her. That was 10 days ago and after a few texts and emails, she doesnt reply. We were talking for hours before meeting. I am at a loss to know what i did wrong?

Now i am started talking to another girl. Shes nice. She has told me this is her 11th first date since febuary. Should i be worried about another rejection. I know she has a kid but that does not bother me at all. I am thinking of meeting her for dinner and drinks.

I just want to know how everyone else handles these blind dates and results. I am looking for something real, maybe in wrong places.

The trick with this kinda thing is to be open-minded. You'll meet some weirdoes - par for the course in the dating game, internet or not - but you'll meet some nice people too. Treat them all as experiences, if nothing else.

Some of these sites do social events, too. I'd say go along to them. You might not meet the girl of your dreams, but you might meet the person who knows the girl of your dremas, if you know what I mean.

All in all, no difference between meeting a gril at a bar, a club or through internet. In fact, internet is probably a bit more genuine, because you don't have to get pissed first .

DublinWriter

InternetDater wrote: »

I just want to know how everyone else handles these blind dates and results. I am looking for something real, maybe in wrong places.

Dude - I have to say you really sound genuine about the whole thing and seem to have had a very bad run of luck regarding your recent experiences.

The first two sound like complete whack jobs, I guess it takes time to read between the lines regarding some people, especially women.

Don't let it put you off - what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!