Engagement Ring - Before or after proposing

iKeano

what's the done thing? buy the engagement ring together after proposing or before proposing (involves me picking one on my own)?

Thanks for opinions in advance,
ik

MagicMarker

Generally, it's done before...

But if you don't know what she'd like, then just buy something cheap for the proposal and go shopping together for the real thing after.

Toots

MagicMarker wrote: »

Generally, it's done before...

But if you don't know what she'd like, then just buy something cheap for the proposal and go shopping together for the real thing after.

+1. TBH, it generally depends on the girl. Some I know would prefer to pick out the ring themselves, others wouldn't like it if their guy proposed without the ring. Personally, I wouldn't mind. I know a lot of guys are nervous that their fiancée to be won't like the ring they pick out. Getting a cheapy ring for the proposal is a good way of avoiding that, if you're not sure what style she'd like.

NinjaTruncs

MagicMarker wrote: »

Generally, it's done before...

-1

from my experience most people these days buy a token ring and then bring the girl ring shopping once she has accepted. Of all the people i know who have gotten engaged lately, about 8, only one has had the actuall ring for proposal and that was because that girl wanted to be asked with the actual ring she would get. All others either had a token ring or no ring at all.

hunnymonster

this topic comes up time and time again. It usually boils down to three options
1. get the ring before
+ you get the whole romance thing of getting down on one knee with a little box etc
- she might hate it - big risk when she is going to wear it forever.

2. don't get the ring before but propose empty handed
+ you can pick the ring together and make an occassion of it and she will get exactly what she wants
- bit less romantic for some people

3. get a token ring
+ you have something in your hand to propose with. Can be something silly and personal (has she always loved kinder suprises or claires?) or a cheap argos ring
- extra expense (although modest) of a second ring

People come out in favour of all three options so it's not an easy question to answer.
For what it's worth, I prefer option 3 but most of my friends who have gotten engaged recently have gone for option 2. or 2b where they have talked about getting engaged, gone and picked out a ring but he didn't tell her when he was going to actually propose.

gandalf

Proposed without the ring. If you are mature enough it makes sense to go ring shopping together afterwards and I found it actually was an experience that we both got something from. Well herself got a ring and I got a bill , but I think you know what I mean !!!

CathyMoran

My husband proposed without the ring (then again we were only going out 7 months at the time). I did not mind. Having said that, he did not let me choose my own ring and it took several years for me to like it fully. I think that you should propose without the ring but let the two of you get the ring together.

rebel.ranter

+1 for without.

MJOR

We picked out the ring and then he proposed..... Does that make sense, So he kinda mini proposed and then did the whole thing again when we got the ring.

nesf

I proposed without and she got to design the ring herself. It is less romantic but there's still something in her being able to pick exactly the ring she wants, she is (hopefully) going to be wearing it for life after all!

It's down to personal taste though, some people would value the romantic element more etc.