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Dumping girlfriend

  • 19-07-2008 7:38am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026
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    I recently dumped my girlfriend of almost 4 years and feel like absolute crap. She's a fantastic person and this came out of the absolute blue for her, we get on like a house on fire. But the problem is that I feel like I'm not ready for this serious commitment, she's going away abroad for several years and by the time she got back, we'd be going out 7 years and that freaks me out - we're both very young (20 and 19) and I just felt that it wasn't fair on her for me to keep it up, knowing I had the serious issues I did. I just don't know what to do or say now, as I've completely broken her heart and I feel like the biggest prick on the planet for letting her down so badly - she's so devastated and it ruins me to see her so upset.


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Comments

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Beruthiel
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing and I can understand your reasoning behind it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26 Ronaldo2


    Of course you feel bad, its only natural. Nobody likes to hurt somebody close to them. But your reasons are valid. It would be much worse to stay in the relationship for the wrong reasons. Also you are very young to be in such a serious relationship.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 842 Weidii
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    You did the right thing.

    She might be hurt now, but in years to come she'll look back and see sense in what you did.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 190 madser
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    It would have been worse if you had of strung her along hiding your feelings, it was always gonna hurt, she'll get over it, time heals all wounds:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 123 dublinmadyoke
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    I am not so happy with your decision. You were happy with her right? you loved her also? I dunno...


    I hate relationships (mine just ended 3 weeks ago so I guess I am bitter)

    Who cares about how long ye were going out! Its love that will keep you together. Your poor girlfriend.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,396 COH
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    Been there man, its sucks ass, but the reality of the situation is that you made the right call. Dont beat yourself up over it (easier said than done i know)


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Toots
    Admin ✭✭✭✭✭


    I agree with the others. Hard as it is you did the right thing by ending it. You'd regret staying in the relationship just for the sake of it, and she'd be even more heartbroken if it was another few years down the line and she found out you'd only been halfheartedly in the relationship for so long.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 babsbabs


    I know its hard for you, as it is for her, but you did the right thing - its better it comes out now rather than later - you told the truth and as much as your hurting - he will respect you in time for telling the truth


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 SarahSassy
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    You did the right thing.. You were honest with yourself and then her... She will come round. A long distance, long term relationship is very difficult. Take comfort from the fact that you did a very honourable thing...

    No one should feel bad for treating someone with respect and honesty... Well done.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 84 peanut66
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    The grass is always greener.......
    If she is going away for years then you did the right thing as it wouldnt have worked out. However if you dumped her just cos you got freaked out or felt like there was better out there for you then I would say you made a mistake.

    You are both very young and its only natural to have those kind of feelings but if you feel this crappy about it it tells me you arent really ready to let go of your relationship. If you broke up and although you were upset, you knew straight away you did the right thing and it felt right then it would have been the right thing to do. Maybe you need a lil time to clear your head but you could be giving up the best thing in your life just bcos you got scared????!!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,796 MJOR
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    You did the right thing. It's like ripping off a plaster quickly hurts like hell but the sting goes away eventually.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 939 Aurora Borealis
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    A relationship ending hurts both parties, whether the dumper or the dumpee.
    You'll get through it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 806 Casshern88
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    Like you said you are both young, mabey in years to come if she is "the one" you may bump into one another and an old flame may be relit.

    But at the moment you did the right thing, long distance relationships are hard enoufh even when you can still see the person at the weekend.

    If you stayed together chances are eventually one of you would break it off or find your self cheating and not haveing the heart to tell your long term/long distance lover that its over.


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