2010 Wedding - is it possible?!

Flat2dmat

I'm with my boyf 8 years and we're getting engaged at xmas. Money has been a big problem so that's why we've waited so long. We're in our early 20s and have a mortgage for the last 2 years and are waiting for the xmas bonus to pay for the ring. I'm eager to get married in 2010 as we'll be together for ten years at that stage and the time is right (it's right now but we couldn't afford it).
While we both want the wedding, I don't know how we will afford it. How do most people now pay for their weddings? I would prefer to save rather than take out a loan, but maybe that's not possible?
We want a civil ceremony in the hotel where the reception will be and we only want about 50 people there. I was looking at a hotel where their gold package is €75 per guest and it includes many extras. As it's a small wedding I want it to be good and not for people to feel that we're scrimping on everything. Is €75 mad expensive? Also, I've seen that DJs are cheaper than having a band as well, but would the DJ play what we want? On one particular site, they say they won't play requests if the DJ thinks the song is inappropriate - is that not ridiculous?! If we're paying them, we want to hear music that we like, not what the DJ "thinks" everyone wants to hear!
Basically, I need to know how people finance the reception, the music, the honeymoon and all that comes with a wedding?! As it is now, we cannot afford to save anything at all (any spare cash is paying off our credit card bill), so maybe if we knew what we should budget for, it might give us an idea if 24 months is enough time to organise our wedding. Any advice would be much appreciated!
PS. We're looking at hotels in Meath / Westmeath / Louth.

MJOR

I'm getting married in 2010 and we are saving away but we are headed to vegas...... Getting married here is expensive but if you have a small wedding you can keep it within your budget

seamus

Flat2dmat wrote: »

While we both want the wedding, I don't know how we will afford it. How do most people now pay for their weddings? I would prefer to save rather than take out a loan, but maybe that's not possible?

It depends obviously on the size of the wedding and the various costs. Some people's parents offer to pay for the whole thing, some other people have substantial savings to cover it. I would say that most people get some form of help from both sets of parents, save a bit of cash themselves and get a small loan to cover the rest.

I was looking at a hotel where their gold package is €75 per guest and it includes many extras. As it's a small wedding I want it to be good and not for people to feel that we're scrimping on everything. Is €75 mad expensive?

Depends on what these extras are? €75 per head would be mad money even if you were getting a seven course meal.

Also, I've seen that DJs are cheaper than having a band as well, but would the DJ play what we want? On one particular site, they say they won't play requests if the DJ thinks the song is inappropriate - is that not ridiculous?! If we're paying them, we want to hear music that we like, not what the DJ "thinks" everyone wants to hear!

Kind of depends. Some DJs fancy themselves as "knowing" the crowd and have some kind of rock star image in their heads. Many DJs will also get requests/playlists from people that are completely ridiculous or badly laid out (e.g. 30 minutes of Bjork followed by fatboy slim's entire first album).

so maybe if we knew what we should budget for, it might give us an idea if 24 months is enough time to organise our wedding. Any advice would be much appreciated!

OK, well upfront, you big costs are (delete where appropriate):

1. Dinner/Hotel
2. Photographer/videographer
3. Band/DJ
4. Dress
5. Suits
6. Cake
7. Flowers
9. Invites
9. Bar extension

And I've probably forgotten a few other things too. Some of these you can just not bother with (like the bar extension), others you can save on by having family/friends do them, such as the cake & invites. The more expensive stuff such as the hotel and dress, you can spend any amount on.

You need to work out what you can afford to spend, before you go making plans. Be conservative in your budget so that you have a little wiggle room in case you see something which is a bit more expensive but you really want.

barbiegirl

Look at buffet dinner rather than sit down, this is normally well cheaper. Have a look at restaurants which can also cheaper, especially for your numbers. Also look at corkage. Mid week in generally cheaper.
For the dress look on the net, also the designer sales, and the charity shops that do brand new dresses, monsoon and debenhams also great value.
On the dj pick one who plays what you want with his consultation, not a prima donna.
Ask friends and family for help, with things like flowers, decor and the cake. Do your own invites, check out www.diyweddings.ie. I got all mine there and it was great, everyone loved them. Work the net you really can get everything you need much cheaper.
Suits, you can hire or as we did buy in the sales.
Decide a budget and stick to it. You will be able to do it.
As to how to pay for it. Save, get rid of that credit card, cut it up. Weekly budgets stick to it, but make it realistic, cause you need a life too. Parents sometimes, help, but certainly not always, as not always is it possible. Keep any loan required to an absolute minimum.
Good luck and congratulations.

Flat2dmat

Thanks for your advice. I have since done up a budget and being realistic, I'll be getting married in 2012. No major rush anyway. I'm more interested in enjoying the honeymoon than organising a wedding before I can afford it. I'll just enjoy getting engaged first!!

DJ_Spider

Flat2dmat wrote: »

On one particular site, they say they won't play requests if the DJ thinks the song is inappropriate - is that not ridiculous?! If we're paying them, we want to hear music that we like, not what the DJ "thinks" everyone wants to hear!

I think as a general thing, that means if a DJ is doing a wedding they will play the couples playlist. I always do. I have that on my site as a sort of insurance against someone asking for heavy metal at a 80th birthday. (yes I have had it!)

In fact I did a joint 80th party last year for 2 lovely ladies. They had all the family there, and a group of youngsters gave me a list of songs like Fall Out Boy, Marilyn Manson, N.I.N, H.I.M., Limp Bizkit etc. I said I would try to fit them in, but I think your nana doesn't really want to hear that sort of music. Fair enough they said!

I also did a wedding for a friend and she gave me a playlist, the groom's father kept coming over and asking for more oldies, I just replied that it was X's day and she was paying me, so she choses the songs. In the end I actually got so annoyed I lost my rag! I braked the song that was playing the next time he came up. Everyone looked over and I said 'this song has been requested by this man and pointed to him, I then played Achy Breaky Heart! Funny he never came up again, wonder why?

To the OP at the end of the day, it's YOUR day, do how YOU want it! Also don't forget to tell the DJ the songs you DON'T want. I had to stop playing a song recently as someone came over and informed me it was a relative's favourite who had passed away a few days before the wedding.

Congratulations on deciding to make the leap and I wish you all the best for the future.

DJ Spider :cool: