Living the life of a True Brother

_blank_

So Brothers, Brotherettes and assembled layabouts, in a short few days I will no longer have a job \o/

I will be receiving a small payoff when I leave, and there will be, of course, a temporary time-scale in which I am not required to leave my bed at unearthly hours to go to a place where I post on Boards all day.

So, I am looking for suggestions of ways in which I should spend my time, activities which don't cost too much, as the money is not coming from a bottomless pit, but rather things which every true brother with some spare time on his hands should really be doing.

Please note, I have an inherent hatred of all things "console".

citytillidie

I say invest the money in Shels

_blank_

citytillidie wrote: »

I say invest the money in Shels

I already do that.

Shiminay

Have you any aul bit of mowing of grass to get done - I always enjoyed doing that at a relaxed pace at home. We did have a big front and back garden though... Get a can-holding attachment for the mower and you're away!

I'd say play computer games all the time, but not sure what you're into

_blank_

Kharn wrote: »

Have you any aul bit of mowing of grass to get done -

:eek::eek:

PHYSICAL LABOUR?

Are you off yore rocker?

Kharn wrote: »

We did have a big front and back garden though...

I live in an apartment.

Kharn wrote: »

I'd say play computer games all the time, but not sure what you're into

Not into gaming, at all.

Well, maybe a bit of Bejewled.

ntlbell

Few tins of Special VAT cider and sit in smithfield square swapping memorable stories with other like minded brothers

Ron DMC

Wander town with a video camera having a general laugh, you'd be surprised with what fun ideas you'll come up with.

Ruby-J

go travelling! and see the world! or go do something mad like take a hot air balloon ride over dublin or even drive one of the really fast motors in modello!

FUN!

grames_bond

make your own backyard wrestling ring and have matches wiht friends and charge people in, make storylines and everything......or you could just watch tv and have a few (hundred) drinks!

justsomebloke

Des wrote: »

I will be receiving a small payoff when I leave

Time to invest and set up an inhouse brewery it seems

Splinter

crate of beer, a nice soundsystem and a pole for the bedroom for the entertainment

Shiminay

Des wrote: »

:eek::eek:

PHYSICAL LABOUR?

Are you off yore rocker?

If you're that much of a wuss that you'd consider strolling around a garden pushing a POWERED lawnmower physical labour, then so be it

I do like Ronny's idea of wandering around town with a camera just to see who and what you could see.

The in-house brewery is also a top idea from Brother JSB!

Splinter

wuzz? you call a brother a wuzz for not wanting to move? ohhh this is not gonna be pretty.... me thinks a meeting for the fate of Kharn is in order...

Shiminay

You don't get it do you.

Powered lawnmowers merely need to be turned and pointed in the right direction. The use of them means that people think you're working hard to keep the place looking well. This scores brownie points in all the right places (lady of the house, neighbours, community associations etc). You get someone else (preferably an underling or wiminz) to empty the skip, fill it with petrol and oil and start it whilst you change into your gardening gear. Then you arrive out to see that it's all ready for the off and you remind herself that you forgot to bring a can and she goes to get you one cause you're about to tear into the hard work of mowing the grass and all you do is hold down the "go" lever and Robert's your father's brother

Laziness skillz - I haz them

5starpool

Get TV shows from your 'cousins', go to the offie for supplies and that's a week or so sorted.

Ruaidhri

Get yourself a slab of beer.

And one ticket for the LUAS.

Get on the LUAS at the end of one line, get out at every stop and have one (1) beer.

Repeat until you reach the opposite end of the line.

LostinBlanch

ruaidhri wrote:

Get on the LUAS at the end of one line, get out at every stop and have one (1) beer.

Repeat until you reach the opposite end of the line.

That has potential for a decent pub crawl. A bit like the circle line one in London.

Tom, Trout, I think the force could be strong in this one.

Tom Dunne

Firstly, nip down to Boyers and get yourself one of these:



While you are there, pick yourself up a pack of these:



Then get yourself a tray of 24 Dutch Gold and live like a king.

Repeat as appropriate, or until IB makes you take a shower.

John Mason

Kharn wrote: »

Have you any aul bit of mowing of grass to get done - I always enjoyed doing that at a relaxed pace at home. We did have a big front and back garden though... Get a can-holding attachment for the mower and you're away!

Excellant idea kharn, i have a meadow which needs to be tamed and the back of the house needs to be painted, along with the garden wall.

thats one week sorted

Des wrote: »

I live in an apartment.

Yes but i dont, and you need to start paying your way in my house.

I have already told you, you can have two weeks off and then its back to work.

If you turn into Jim Royle, i am off

admiralofthefleet

i need a kitchen porter:P

_blank_

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i need a kitchen porter:P

CV sent.

Tom Dunne

irishbird wrote: »

Excellant idea kharn, i have a meadow which needs to be tamed and the back of the house needs to be painted, along with the garden wall.

thats one week sorted




Yes but i dont, and you need to start paying your way in my house.

I have already told you, you can have two weeks off and then its back to work.

If you turn into Jim Royle, i am off

Brother Des (no F), I see dark times ahead. I have seen this behaviour before in wimmins. Do you see what she is doing there? She is making plans. She is organising your life. She using you as slave labour.

Run, run as fast as you can. Change the locks. Grow some hair. Buy a new jacket. Save yourself!

John Mason

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Brother Des (no F), I see dark times ahead. I have seen this behaviour before in wimmins. Do you see what she is doing there? She is making plans. She is organising your life. She using you as slave labour.

Run, run as fast as you can. Change the locks. Grow some hair. Buy a new jacket. Save yourself!

shhhh, trev, you will scare him off.

i am now the main breadwinner which means he is totally under my control, i can make do whatever i want. even chain him to the kitchen sink

_blank_

irishbird wrote: »

Yes but i dont, and you need to start paying your way in my house.

I have already told you, you can have two weeks off and then its back to work.

Work, my arse.

irishbird wrote: »

If you turn into Jim Royle, i am off

I already AM Jim Royle.

John Mason

Des wrote: »

Work, my arse.



I already AM Jim Royle.

LOL, actually the likiness is amazing

Splinter

irishbird wrote: »

Excellant idea kharn, i have a meadow which needs to be tamed

rar :pac:

Shiminay

Funnily enough, I thought that too, but I'm too much of a gentleman to make such comments

grames_bond

Kharn wrote: »

Funnily enough, I thought that too, but I'm too much of a gentleman to make such comments

be honest you were beatin to it, you were just too slow! :pac:

Splinter

grames_bond wrote: »

be honest you were beatin to it, you were just too slow! :pac:

oh he was beating to it alright
/giggity

sorry

_blank_

Ah leave it out lads, that's me burd yizzer talking about.

Splinter

apologies Des

so come up with any ideas of great epicness yourself?

_blank_

splinter wrote: »

so come up with any ideas of great epicness yourself?

er...no.

That's why I asked here, I'm far too lazy for that.

Splinter

excellent, i shall go with a steak the size of a small horse, beers and something for the lady (preferably free and even better, something she already owns that you have robbed)

Terry

Beer, recliner (not one of those self assembly ones. You want a good one. Mine collapsed the other week), remote control and one of those things that picks up litter so that you don't have to reach too far for anything.

That's all you need.

5starpool

If you can get one of those matter transporters and use it like Homer did with someone else to move it, then you can say you are doing everything for yourself (except one thing) and still use only one arm in the process.

Edit: Also, why are you trying to 'do' anything. Just sleep when you can, eat when you are hungry and do whatever happens to be easiest to do at the time.

Rob_l

Go and play some golf get a feel for your retirement years

_blank_

Rob_l wrote: »

Go and play some golf get a feel for your retirement years

And where the jaysis have you been?

dfx-

Des wrote: »

but rather things which every true brother with some spare time on his hands should really be doing.

Absolutely nothing? With associated beer, you can't do much better than that, imo.

Rob_l

Des wrote: »

And where the jaysis have you been?

I was off playing golf and seeing how i liked retirement

I hated it and thought golf was a stupid game for ****

smashey

42" lcd, Sky, recliner, big fridge and a maid.

Sorted.

Rob_l

smashey wrote: »

42" lcd, Sky, recliner, big fridge and a maid.

Sorted.

good good good
but in place of maid i would be substituting another female professional

trout

For starters, get plenty of prunes into you before yore exit interview.
You owe it to yore former employers to leave a large, moist and steaming turd front & centre in the boardroom.

Then, with yore modest stipend, stock up on beer, steak, beer, rashers, beer, jaffa cakes, beer and other essentials.

Once stocked, you should embark on a voyage of self-discovery, sleeping when you are tired, eating when you are hungry.
Apply for jobs online, in various stages of 'refreshment' and see what happens.

Set yoreself a goal ... try to read the entire Internet.
Grow an even more interesting beard. Throw a party.

As Tom Dunne has alluded to, it is essential you do this dressed appropriately ... vest & y-fronts at all times, and keep personal hygiene down to the barest minimum levels to stave off disease.

I salute you.




*A dear friend of mine once expressed himself in this fashion, and has lived like a king ever since, such is his social standing. He is known as Mr Whippy.

Ruby-J

trout wrote: »

For starters, get plenty of prunes into you before yore exit interview. You owe it to yore former employers to leave a large, moist and steaming turd front & centre in the boardroom.

EEEW :eek:

nkay1985

You're effectively going to be living the life of a student so!

All you need is beer, bad food that requires little or no effort to prepare, a tv, a remote and a pc/laptop with internet access. Sorted.

Fajitas!

Feic all that.

Buy a crate of good beer, and practice your BBQ'ing skills.

LostinBlanch

trout wrote: »

For starters, get plenty of prunes into you before yore exit interview.
You owe it to yore former employers to leave a large, moist and steaming turd front & centre in the boardroom.

Then, with yore modest stipend, stock up on beer, steak, beer, rashers, beer, jaffa cakes, beer and other essentials.

Once stocked, you should embark on a voyage of self-discovery, sleeping when you are tired, eating when you are hungry.
Apply for jobs online, in various stages of 'refreshment' and see what happens.

Set yoreself a goal ... try to read the entire Internet.
Grow an even more interesting beard. Throw a party.

As Tom Dunne has alluded to, it is essential you do this dressed appropriately ... vest & y-fronts at all times, and keep personal hygiene down to the barest minimum levels to stave off disease.

I salute you.




*A dear friend of mine once expressed himself in this fashion, and has lived like a king ever since, such is his social standing. He is known as Mr Whippy.

Once again the trout hammer hits the nail on the head. Listen to this wisdom Des, oh and Toms too, IBs plans for you are an ultimatum. Call her bluff ad she'll come crawling back to you.

Lilym

Des,

Go do something you have always really want to do but because of work it has restricted you...go do a bit of travelling there is life outside our little island believe it !!:)

homerjay2005

Lilym wrote: »

Des,

Go do something you have always really want to do but because of work it has restricted you...go do a bit of travelling there is life outside our little island believe it !!:)

errm, des did a year in australia.

John Mason

Lilym wrote: »

Des,

Go do something you have always really want to do but because of work it has restricted you...go do a bit of travelling there is life outside our little island believe it !!:)

he has already done this


and i think he will aware that there is life outside out little island

John Mason

Lilym wrote: »

Des,

Go do something you have always really want to do but because of work it has restricted you...go do a bit of travelling there is life outside our little island believe it !!:)

he has already done this


and i think he well aware that there is life outside our little island