Is there something wrong with me?

LegacyUser

Hi

Lately I have thought of nothing else but sex, I am female and although this might be acceptable for a fellow i dont think it is quite right that a girl feel like this....

I have been in an on off relationship with a guy for the past year, well booty call relationship as we never did seem to get a chance to go on dates. He would just call to my house in the early hours of the morning and we would shag all night and he would then leave at 9or10 the next morning. Anyway any minute i get i fantasise about our sessions and I wish that i could have it right there and then.thing is i just want sex with him and noone else. Now the sex to start was terrible but i think i let it slip to him and then he became like an animal in bed. I thought at the beginning that the sex was bad because he is only 4inches when erect and didnt really feel anything but that has changed. To cut a long story short we decided no more contact, i wanted a relationship and he didnt and i was falling for him (which he prob could see). So now i have noone to have sex with and i think i will never find a guy like him in bed! (i am size 18 and i think he may have been embarrassed to have been seen with me and i am afraid that this will be the perception of all the men i come in contact with. i could be working and the image of us having sex would pop into my head ...then i wouldnt be able to concentrate I fantasise about sex every opportunity i get...IS this Normal? are there anyother women that feel like that? I own a vibrator and it isnt satisfying my needs anymore! What can i do? I really dont want a one night stand with a randomer, would be too frightened!

Wibbs

sexondbrain wrote: »

Hi

Lately I have thought of nothing else but sex, I am female and although this might be acceptable for a fellow i dont think it is quite right that a girl feel like this....

I don't agree. People, men and women have different sex drives. You just happen to have a high one and no bad thing either.

It's your self esteem(oh god yea that one again..:)) that's more worrisome. Of course a man that fancies you would want to be seen with you, being with you as a partner and lover. That has surprisingly little to do with the number on your clothes.

LegacyUser

I hear you about the high sex drive, but it is more common in men isnt it? I do agree though my self esteem is low but could a guy have sex with a girl if he didnt fancy her or find her attractive?

Nevyn

Yep having a high sex drive and not getting any sucks but you have to find away to acept it and train yourself not to get that distracted when you are in work.

If needs be get up 30 mins earier and let off some steam before going into work and again afterwards in the evening, set aside time so that you don't zone out and only end up winding yourself up about what you can't currently have.

There are a lot women who have a high sex drive it's not that unsualy a lot of people get hung up on the stereotype that bloke want it more and there is something wrong with a woman who has a high sex drive.

Being a size 18 isn't that large but if you want to do something about your shape then do it for yourself and cycling, swimming or any ex cerise that will have you exerting yourself will mean you will be tired and have less engery and so will be less likely to be on edge about not getting any.

You might also try changing your vibrator for something different as you body may have become to used to the way it stimulates and it just won't do it for you as much.

Now all that being said congratulations on figuring out what you want ( which is a relationship ) and on following through in not putting up with less then that just cos you were getting one of your needs met. There are a lot of people out there afraid to stand up for themselves and say sorry this isn't good enough I deserve better so well done and start dating and meeting people so you can find someone who will want to be in the type of relationship you want with you.

Nevyn

It assocated with men due to it sorta related to testrone levels, women who tend to have high sex drive tend to have slight elevated levels of testrone ( which the body can make with out having teste ).
http://www.gynob.com/testost.htm

Wibbs

sexondbrain wrote: »

I hear you about the high sex drive, but it is more common in men isnt it?

What Thaedydal wrote can't really be bettered on that score. The only thing I would add is having women mates and talking to them over the years, many women have much higher sex drives than many men, especially after the first few months of relationship horny madness. Indeed I would reckon that as many women complain about not getting any in relationships as men do.

I do agree though my self esteem is low but could a guy have sex with a girl if he didnt fancy her or find her attractive?

As a man you would have to find something about them attractive IMHO anyway, or Mr Happytm isn't going to make an appearance. This would be even more the case if it's a repeat performance.

I can't speak for women, but I do think some men can have three things going on in their head with regard to the attractiveness of women in their lives; what they say to their mates, what they say to women and what they say to themselves. This goes double for "younger" men(in general). They're more concerned about how the world views them.

I've a mate who when much younger always went along with what he thought the rest of us(and society) found attractive. Turns out he prefers bigger women. Loves them in fact. Stick him in a room with a naked and willing size 10 and he'd come out sucking his thumb.:D He doesn't seem to be alone in that either.

I think you're right about a randomer too. You need and deserve more than that. Don't get me wrong, some people want randomers at times in their lives and that's cool too, but I suspect you may need more. At the moment anyway.

Dudess

If you've a high sex drive, enjoy it!

Never, NEVER try to "dampen" it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't be brainwashed by that catholic guilt crap about how women should behave...

sexondbrain wrote: »

Lately I have thought of nothing else but sex, I am female and although this might be acceptable for a fellow i dont think it is quite right that a girl feel like this...

Ah seriously, come on! Why? We all have our needs, male or female. I wouldn't say I'm constantly libidinous but at those times when I am, well I'm gonna be as sexual as I damn well want.

He would just call to my house in the early hours of the morning and we would shag all night and he would then leave at 9or10 the next morning. Anyway any minute i get i fantasise about our sessions and I wish that i could have it right there and then.

Of course you do - sounds great! I've been there a few times and yes, it can become a bit of an obsession...

MJOR

As a curvy girl myself I hear your body woes. I unti I met my current partner I hated my thighs and tummy. I'd get up to go to the loo wrapped in a sheet.

While I still wouldn't run down grafton st in the pelt I can see that I'm not hideous.

Some guys like a size 10 pert bum some a size 18 peach. One mans trash is anothers treasure.

I think the reason you are so focused and driven on sex is that this man has awakened your sexual desire and prowess.

Nothing wrong with that. When you start feeling more confident about the dressed you you'll start to feel more confident about the undressed you.

Aurora Borealis

Lot’s of women have very high sex drives too, often higher than guys. Nothing wrong with that at all.

In reference to your size being related to things in the bedroom don’t fret about it, attraction is a very individual thing and the most important and attractive thing is that you are comfortable with yourself. My weight over the years has fluctuated from a size 18 to a size 10 and I don’t think it made any difference to then partners or bedroom antics what end of the spectrum I was at.

Furthermore I think it’s normal to focus on the last person you really got your rocks off with when in the mood so don’t worry about it. It’s healthy to fantasise.

Enjoy yourself girl. It’s great you do, whether on your own or with someone. Some people have difficulty letting go that way at all.

John Mason

i think about sex all the time and i am a size 18 too

i am not sure what your size has to do with

buy a vibrator or else go on an adult dating site and get yourself another fb

pants20

Op, we are all animals and one of the most natural things in the world for animals is the want to ' get it on!'... So loose that catholic guilt.

The only issue here, is the fact that you have such low self esteem that you feel you have to put up with some guy calling you when he's wasted and wanting sex.. if that is indeed the case, log on to the nearest dating site. He was a fook buddy, but you grew attached and wanted more, that is the inevitable that one party is going to become attached and that's when it gets messy and one gets their heart broken.

Size, at the end of the day, has nothing to do with anything. The main thing is that your happy with you.

Op, forget about booty call boy, there are oceans of hot eligable guys out their. And not to mention vibrators all shapes and sizes!!

Best of Luck Op,

Mr. Incognito

could a guy have sex with a girl if he didnt fancy her or find her attractive?

yes. Alcohol helps ugly people get laid.

as to the OP, I reckon everyone has a different dial on the sex drive, yours just happens to be set pretty high. It's normal enough. The confidence issues would be more worrying imo.

WilmaRidesAgain

Ah, Dont worry at all, its perfectly normal, you will find it becomes even more so as you move past your 20's.

I dont know whether its that a lot of women think it is "unseemly" to admit they are highly sexed or whether they genuinely aren't or aren't aware of it but it can seem you are in the minority.

Believe me this is not the case, I think about sex morning, noon and night and can't get enough! lol

Anyway, as to your size, I wouldn't dream of letting it stand in your way, just like MJOR said "One mans trash is anothers treasure" ...brilliant!

trowelled

If it's the case that he is ashamed to be seen with you then you should tell this guy where to go. Noone should be made to feel like that. You can and will do so much better. Thankfully not all men are as shallow as him!! As for the high sex drive, honey there is nothing wrong with that, have one myself. But put it to better use and find a decent guy to put it into practice with!! I was recently told that a lot of Irish women have a high sex drive, perhaps a reaction to past repressed attitudes to sex!!

LegacyUser

I Just want to say thanks to all the posters for the encouragement. I am going to enjoy the fact that i have a high sex drive but as one poster pointed out with someone who deserves me! I am not under any circumstances ever going back to that booty call - regardless of how horny i get! I suppose i really posed the question in the first place because of a comment a close friend made of how obsessed about sex i was! now i do read books on it and throw ann summers parties but i dont think i act obsessive and i certainly dont go throwing my body around coppers looking for men to bring home! Just got me thinking if there were others like me and now i know there are and that i am perfectly normal - yippee!!

DD

What happens if they both have a very high sex drive?

stcatherine

Op,

I'm a 34 year old female and a size 20/22 .... I have a better sex life now than I did when I was 18 and a size 14, I also have a box full of various different vibrators and toys ( absolutely invest in a rabbit vibrator of some kind )

I know of a number of guys who find the fact that I am totally at ease with my sexuality a huge turn on and they would give their right arm to just have one night with me, and these are good looking guys too not munters great looking guys some of whom have skinny girlfriends.

Sadly I am married and would never dream of cheating on hubby but still it never hurts to fantasise.

The point is once you accept and embrace the fact that you are a sexy lady and enjoy that fact guys will be attracted to your sexy confident self.

Good luck x