Demanding G.F?? or bad boyfriend?

LegacyUser

I don't even know what im asking for in this thread.

Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 2 years, were both just turning 20.
For a long time it was great . we were in love.....still are.....

Its just lately i seem to be complacent about the whole relationship.

i play rugby semi professionally and this requires me to train sometimes 5 days a week with the team, not to mention other training on the side weights ect, Sometimes she gets upset or pissed off that i go to training instead of meeting her. This in turn annoys me but i never say anything as i don't want to start a row.

Sometimes lately i even find my self checking out other girls thinking "if i were single what would happen"

I seem confused about what i want

Is it just me or is she being too demanding. maybe im just a being a bad partner i don't know. Is it too much to ask for a little time for myself sometimes. If it was up to her we would be sown together at the hip.....But then again if i really love her wouldnt i want that too????

Bitz n Pieces

You said yourself that you need to train sometimes 5 times a week with other training. That sounds like a lot of time for yourself, not just a little. In my experience the girl always wants to spend more time with the guy, than he does with her, but you have to consider how she is feeling, when training e.t.c. always comes before her. For me it is "going on the beer with the boys" that gets in the way. And every guy looks at other girls, just don't think about acting on it, unless you are single. You may be having doubts about your relationship, but you don't want to break her heart and screw her up altogether!!

Meathlass

ConFuseDude00 wrote: »

I don't even know what im asking for in this thread.

Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 2 years, were both just turning 20.
For a long time it was great . we were in love.....still are.....

Its just lately i seem to be complacent about the whole relationship.

i play rugby semi professionally and this requires me to train sometimes 5 days a week with the team, not to mention other training on the side weights ect, Sometimes she gets upset or pissed off that i go to training instead of meeting her. This in turn annoys me but i never say anything as i don't want to start a row.

Sometimes lately i even find my self checking out other girls thinking "if i were single what would happen"

I seem confused about what i want

Is it just me or is she being too demanding. maybe im just a being a bad partner i don't know. Is it too much to ask for a little time for myself sometimes. If it was up to her we would be sown together at the hip.....But then again if i really love her wouldnt i want that too????

How often would you see her - 3 times a week? If you're semi professional than that's like a part time job and I would think it very unreasonable to demand my bf skip his part time job to hang out with me. It's not healty to be sowen together at the hip as you say. Are you both working or are you in college so that now it's summer she has nothing to do and is bored while you're busy all the time? You have to sort out for yourself why you're wondering about other girls. Are you just sick of your gf because she's nagging you or are you thinking of ending things. You're both very young and if you've been together since you were 18 than it's only natural to wonder.

LegacyUser

Bitz n Pieces wrote: »

You may be having doubts about your relationship, but you don't want to break her heart and screw her up altogether!!

That's how i feel alright.neither of us had really been in a serious relationship before this.

Were both in college, we also both have a part time job....the same job we work together at least 3 nights a week, even with all the training i still make time to see her most days of the week.

RedXIV

I'm with Bitz n Pieces here. training 5 nights a week and then your own training sounds like you have alot of time to yourself. I went through a phase myself alright where i was training a ridiculous amount (back when i was young and fit ) and you may not realise it but you do spend alot of time looking after yourself.

It's natural she'd want to spend time with you, so try and make it happen every now and again. Oh and don't worry about the checking girls out thing, every guy does that :cool:

Chips Lovell

If you're being paid to play, then its your job more than a hobby. Asking you to skip training is like asking you to skip work.

That said, if you're semi-professional, I assume you're doing something else, like having another job or studying? If that's the case, then you're probably putting long hours in. Everyone is different. Some people are perfectly happy seeing their partner for short periods during the week. Others need more.

Rather than avoid the issue, try to talk to her about it calmly. Explain where you're coming from and try and establish whether your schedule is going to be a problem with her over the long term. Not bringing stuff up in case it turns into a row means that things can brew under the surface and then explode at a later date.

seahorse

Bitz n Pieces wrote: »

You said yourself that you need to train sometimes 5 times a week with other training. That sounds like a lot of time for yourself, not just a little.

Agree with this.

Bitz n Pieces wrote: »

In my experience the girl always wants to spend more time with the guy, than he does with her,

That's not been my experience. If it was I'd just leave.

The_Conductor

ConFuseDude00 wrote: »

this requires me to train sometimes 5 days a week with the team, not to mention other training on the side weights

Just how many evenings a week does this entail- 5 days with the team + extra means potentially every single evening.......
I really don't think she is being unreasonable.
A relationship does require that both parties compromise and meet each other in the middle at times. Not only are you not compromising- but it sounds as though you very little time at all to ever do anything with her. I think you have to ask yourself- do you have the time to have a girlfriend?

StormWarrior

If you're willing to see your girlfriend only one or two days a week to persue your training, maybe you just don't have time for a girlfriend, or don't really want this girlfriend, right now. I think it's only fair you decide. It's not unreasonable that she wants to spend more than one or two nights a week with you. If you can't or are unwilling to provide this, then tell her so and give her the chance to find someone who actually wants to spend time with her.

estar

you are too young to be that serious

focus on your life when you are young

settle when older

thats what i think - use this time to experience life
and develop skills, not stay stuck to someone 24/7

jesus_thats_gre

ConFuseDude00 wrote: »

Were both in college, we also both have a part time job....the same job we work together at least 3 nights a week, even with all the training i still make time to see her most days of the week.

Considering the above, I think she is being unreasonable.

The_Conductor

ConFuseDude00 wrote: »

Were both in college, we also both have a part time job....the same job we work together at least 3 nights a week, even with all the training i still make time to see her most days of the week.

So- do you actually have time to do anything together? To go to the cinema or out for a drink etc? You see her in college, and you work the same job together- but your evenings are your own....... She sounds more like a college buddy, or a work buddy than a girlfriend.

Simply seeing them in a college or a work context, does not mean its a relationship......

Overheal

Training + Testosterone + Edgy Girlfriend = Hey look at that Bird over there...

Seeing eachother is one thing but have you been on many dates recently? Maybe shes just in need of a few.