Money saving tips to help survive the depression.

AlmightyCushion

Ok, we're in the grips of a full blown depression that will last for at least 3 or 4 hundred years and I believe rte has just reported that unemployment has just reached 185%. Things aren't looking good for the people of Ireland and it's the wonderful posters of After Hours who will save the day.

What great money saving tips do you have that will help people survive the depression?

When using paper make sure to use both sides, back and front. This goes for toilet paper as well. Yes it'll mess up your hands but think of the money you'll save.

genericgoon

Toilet paper!? Jaysus theres a world of moss and grass just waiting to clean your bum for ya.

Kiera

Any Cavan people here??

Photi

Save money on expensive personalised number plates by simply changing your name to 02-D-34506.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator

Old telephone directories make cheap personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

admiralofthefleet

instead of spending money on electricity to heat water to wash your dishes and clothes why not use your piss instead, it is sterile after all

Latchy

Buy in bulk monthly for the freezer instead of weekly for the fridge

No exuse to use dryer when all that lovley warm weather around to dry clothes

hmm... put kids up for adoption

Try pick you neighbours Internet connection through your router

Run_to_da_hills

Stay in bed longer, particularly if you are on the dole

kelle

Shop in Lidl, don't have children (childcare soaks up 70% of my wages), don't buy unnecessary items, give up smoking and drinking, give up life....

AlmightyCushion

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

instead of spending money on electricity to heat water to wash your dishes and clothes why not use your piss instead, it is sterile after all

Plus then you won't need a toilet anymore so you can get rid of the bathroom and rent it out to a lodger.

taidghbaby

use the dirty hookers on the side of the road, instead of the expensive ones in the hotels

ejmaztec

Connect your electricity supply to your nearest neighbour's house whilst he is out collecting his dole.

Sherifu

Reuse toilet paper. Eat leaves. Hunt badgers. Write on the walls with rocks. Sell aids.

admiralofthefleet

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Plus then you won't need a toilet anymore so you can get rid of the bathroom and rent it out to a lodger.

good thinking batman

Run_to_da_hills

Sherifu wrote: »

Reuse toilet paper.

We are not in Poland

patmac

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They
will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty cent.

Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick to an
empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice.

Cant afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
and press them into your eyes.

Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to
the object you wish to view.

Pop a few tea bags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa
anytime by just turning on the tap.

Don't buy expensive "ribbed" condoms, just buy an ordinary one and
slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Exterior wood stain is a fast, long-lasting and attractive alternative
to sun-bed treatments.

Thanks to Viz

genericgoon

Kiera wrote: »

Any Cavan people here??

Jaysus, you can't expect me to be divulging all the trade secrets now would ya? Of course, for a price.... :P

Ross_Mahon

-Buy Tesco value food and lidl's/Aldi's
-Save in the credit union, Interest at the end of year
-Get a job that doesn't involve a trade
-Use the bicycle instead of the car
-Eat two meals a day, Breakfast and dinner
-Buy drink from cheap off licenses
-DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN
-Get rid of your pets, they only cost money
-Do not listen to Eddie Hobbs
-Steal things
-Buy your clothes in pennys (Or refer to above)

Kiera

genericgoon wrote: »

Jaysus, you can't expect me to be divulging all the trade secrets now would ya? Of course, for a price.... :P

Hahahaha i honestly didnt even notice where you were from But go on, spill................

ejmaztec

Take your own collecting plate to all of the masses.

Ghost Train

stop going to the pub and drinking beer.... only kidding

pebbles21

when out shoplifting try staying away from the usual high st stores and shoplift in the wholesalers instead !!!!!

instead of one box of usa bisuits you can have a whole pallot of them!!!!

ejmaztec

Round up as many pensioners as you can and lock them in your house. You can then increase your household income substantially. You don't even have to feed them because they wouldn't remember that they hadn't eaten.

pebbles21

turn up at random funerals in full funeral attire and your always guaranteed at the very least a bowl of soup and a sandwich

if anyone asks he/she was an old shool/work friend of yours!!

genericgoon

Also make sure to get your free Holy bread every day from your local church. You can even go to several of these a day on a Sunday! If youre really committed you can try and get the wine tasting job as well.:pac:

Steve

You can get 4 wears out of a pair of underpants if you alternate the direction and inside-outedness.

Daftendirekt

According to Stephen King, you can survive for several days by eating yourself . We aren't living in Celtic Tiger Era Ireland anymore people!

Ruu_Old

Hang tea bags on the washing line and reuse a couple of times.

AlmightyCushion

Ruu wrote: »

Hang tea bags on the washing line and reuse a couple of times.

Works well with condoms as well.

genericgoon

stevec wrote: »

You can get 4 wears out of a pair of underpants if you alternate the direction and inside-outedness.

Id say a pair of boxers could last longer.

J.S. Pill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrdacihsOHA&feature=related

This recession is going to be easy! Don't spend 4 quid buying a coffee from starbucks, simple but effective

javaboy

Daftendirekt wrote: »

According to Stephen King, you can survive for several days by eating yourself.

Is that the one with the surgeon, drugs, seagulls and a plane crash? Would have made a way better film than Castaway!

gurramok

Tear up the credit card. Oh wait, the economy depends on credit, it's now a depression!

javaboy

javaboy wrote: »

Is that the one with the surgeon, drugs, seagulls and a plane crash? Would have made a way better film than Castaway!

Yep. Survivor type it's called. Woulda blown Castaway outta the water.

beautiation

Save money on both towels and detergent by putting your clothes on while you're still wet from the shower. You're the cleanest thing in the house so youll clean the clothes!

avoid wear and tear on your shoes by skiing everywhere.

Cover holes in your children's clothes by sticking empty McDonalds cups over them, the added bonus is someone might throw some change in there as they pass by.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

live on mars bars (they are really really filling) so maybe 6 a day , 4.80e a day or like 3 euro if you buy the big 6 packs of them. most people would spend at least 10e on food a day...

egan007

Instead of the Helicopter Ride for your little darlings communion this year just rent a yacht.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

instead of renting a yacht rent an alcoholic to carry your children around the town for an hour or so

Terry

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV wrote: »

instead of renting a yacht rent an alcoholic to carry your children around the town for an hour or so

€20 an hour. (12 pack of bud in the local off licence).

You could also save money by blaming everything on foreigners. I hear it works well in other countries.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

Terry, are you offering? if so i'll send the little nieces and nephews over to you next time communion comes around...

Terry

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV wrote: »

Terry, are you offering? if so i'll send the little nieces and nephews over to you next time communion comes around...

Well I am an alcoholic, so why not.

J.S. Pill

J.S. Pill wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrdacihsOHA&feature=related

This recession is going to be easy! Don't spend 4 quid buying a coffee from starbucks, simple but effective

Sh*t, I do not remember posting that at all. I must have been well drunk last night.

gollyitsolly

Put cardboard into shoes when they get a hole.Draw a line up the back of your leg and pretend youre wearing seamed socks. Get a bag of bones from the butcher and you have soup for the week. Throw coats over you in bed to keep warm.........................I knew me childhood would come in handy some day.:p and luvly porridge for dinner................

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

collect bags full of waste and sell them to the less well off from the recession, builders , carpenters, them guys!

ejmaztec

Save on buying any more clothes by having an Armani suit design tattooed all over your body, complete with tasteful tie and shirt design. This will ensure that, whatever your financial situation, you will look good at all times, and be ever ready for that important job interview.

Marcus.Aurelius

Don't waste precious soap washing your underwear after one day's wear. Turn them inside out and voila! Sh*t stain is now on the outside. Must be a marketing thing!

Save money on baseball hats to beat skangers by filling your old socks with sand. Just as good and doesn't leave a telltale mark!

Make sure your girlfriend doesn't wear out her clothing by insisting she wear nothing while in your presence.

Wertz

Well you could always do what I saw one particular bloke doing outside my local Dunnes, this evening...yes folks instead of paying those pesky bin charges you can insteed split your household waste into several small bags and deposit them individually into the public bins outside the shops. I was LOLing as the guy walked back to his car...he just put his head down and kept walking.
People could probably expand on this idea by merely throwing their sh*t anywhere they want...think of it as letting nature do the recycling...

gollyitsolly

Wertz wrote: »

Well you could always do what I saw one particular bloke doing outside my local Dunnes, this evening...yes folks instead of paying those pesky bin charges you can insteed split your household waste into several small bags and deposit them individually into the public bins outside the shops. I was LOLing as the guy walked back to his car...he just put his head down and kept walking.
People could probably expand on this idea by merely throwing their sh*t anywhere they want...think of it as letting nature do the recycling...

I think this should be in the brown bin debate in the Dublin 15 forum.

simu

Steal Trevelyan's corn and make homemade soups and stews that you can freeze and live off for months.

Fizman

Coasting every possible inch out of every journey in your car FTW!

BIG savings!!!!:pac:

Agent Smith

genericgoon wrote: »

Also make sure to get your free Holy bread every day from your local church. You can even go to several of these a day on a Sunday! If youre really committed you can try and get the wine tasting job as well.:pac:

Gotta love the catholics! Come for the Body of Christ, Stay for the Blood!


(I'm pretty sure thats a hell worthy joke :pac:)

Going on holiday? Enjoy wonderfull bray!


Will mosney be reopened now that the Economy is going down the toilet again?

Archeron

Save money on cosmetics by making your own mascara brushes. Just jam a used toothpick up the rear end of a centipede for a perfect applicator brush.

Dont bother getting expensive carpet all over your house, just glue a sample to each of your shoes and have the comfort of carpet follow you around, without the needless expense.

Look out for those poxy "give us your old clothes, we're a fake charity" collection stickers. On the day the collection is due, make sure you go out nice and early and get the pick of whats being donated. Anything you wouldn't wear can be burned for heat, and the bags can be stored for use in the kitchen bin.

Avoid your own ESB bills by spending all of your free time in museums and libraries.