Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Repetition: but don't know where I'm going wrong?

  • 03-07-2008 6:54pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I can't seem to break to break a cycle that has been going on for around 2 years but I can't figure out what I'm doing to cause it? It's come to the stage where I feel so frustrated about the situation.

    For the past two years or so anytime I meet someone I'm attracted it always reaches a certain point and then stops abruptly or fizzles out. I get asked out and then they don't make any contact afterwards to make arrangemets and if they do contact me again they don't metion asking me out previously and I don't like mentioning it or hinting at it as I feel I'm pressuring them into doing something they don't want to do. I don't feel I'm pushy or clingy as I don't bombard them with messages and have a pretty laidback attitude in general and it's not like I'm looking for "the one" I'd just like to break the rut that I've gotten myself into.
    Sometimes it feel like I just get asked out to see if I say yes and once they know that I would they move on to someone else. It's really starting to break my confidence and the same thing has happened with the last 4 people I've like in around 18 months. If anyone could point out to me where I'm going wrong I'd really apprciate it.


Comments

  • #2
    taidghbaby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    without knowing the full situation the only thing i can think of is that your not askin for the sale (sorry to use that phrase)

    its very simple: if you dont ask you wont get!!


  • #3
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    Is it possible that the first few times were a conicidence?

    Now its become a vicious circle in that you are thinking about it a lot and its affecting your confidence. Maybe that's now coming across.

    I'm sorry OP if that doesn't help. But as a previous poster said, its very hard to give you an opinion without more info or knowing you.


  • #4
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    But if they didnt want to go out with you they wouldnt ask in the first place so how is that pressurising them into doing something they dont want to do.

    Maybe your self doubt is coming across whether you realise it or not. They could be just as worried that you only said yes out of politeness due to the fact you dont mention it again.

    Treat everyone you meet as a friend, would you be afraid to say to a friend, hey when are we meeting for that drink?

    Be assertive. If someone asks you out dont say yes, say when. Then say yes.


  • #5
    MJOR
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭MJOR


    Maybe the laid back attitute is where you are going wrong...

    While for the first while you don't want to feel stalked its nice to have regular contact...

    maybe they are mistaking the laid back approach for disinterest?


Advertisement