Where is 'he'????

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I'm sure there are a million threads on this subject already but I'm just wondering where people meet potential
partners? I'm a recently single gal out of a 2 year relationship and I'm 27 years old. I love going out but doubt I'll
meet a guy who'll turn into a boyfriend in the pub.

I was just thinking about this this morning and fear started kicking in. I work 9-5 and after work I go home, make dinner
maybe go for a walk or just relax. At the weekends I usually go to the pub but as I said I don't think I'll meet anyone that way.

I know people may suggest on-line dating but it's just not my thing. End of. How am I suppossed to meet someone though?
I don't like going to the gym, I'm really thin and could actually do with gaining some weight. I know people might say join a club
but what club?

I'm scared I'll end up alone!!

Wibbs

As someone on another thread said recently, you'll meet people in the strangest places. You kinda meet people all the time, just not in an obvious setting for romance. So stop thinking about finding someone in particular and just meet more people.

Ian Beale

Wibbs wrote: »

You'll meet people in the strangest places. You kinda meet people all the time, just not in an obvious setting for romance.

Strange is right,I was just walking around with my cousin one day when 1 of her good friends (never met her before that I knew of although apparently I did when I was 7) turned up.Went to a shop to buy the usual healthy food you know chocolate ice cream very healthy conscious me.On the way back I was walking in front and she kicked me right up my back side,since then together 2 years

Oh and if anyones wondering yes it hurt like hell.

RedXIV

Join a cookery class! although i don't know what the guy girl ratio is in those...

I can't tell you where you're going to find mr right but i can point out that doing social things you enjoy, like concerts or activities you enjoy will increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your interests.

I don't know why people who are eager to meet people always rule out online dating? I know LOADS of people who use it and they are mostly fine respectable people.

Also, you're only 27 lass, worrying about ending up alone is a bit premature

Guys are everywhere, just be open and friendly and he could literally be around the corner

Clink

Just continue going out with your friends and get them to bring along their single male friends on nights out too.

Also stop thinking about it so much, men can smell desperation! As everyone else has said, you tend to meet people when you least expect it so just get on doing what you're doing, you never know who's around the corner.

MissThing

Singlegal wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I was just thinking about this this morning and fear started kicking in. I work 9-5 and after work I go home, make dinner
maybe go for a walk or just relax. At the weekends I usually go to the pub but as I said I don't think I'll meet anyone that way.

I know people may suggest on-line dating but it's just not my thing. End of.

You have loads of spare time on your hands, why not volunteer your time to a charity, join the Lions club, take up an evening class, answer phones or do admin at child line, the simon community, dog walk, work in an animal shelter, join a book club, join tag rugby, a running club {exercise isn't always about loosing weight} hillwalking....the opportunities for extending your circle of friends and meeting someone like minded are endless. And no, its very unlikely to happen at a pub or a club.

The 'internet dating' thing can be a little daunting, but serioulsy, give it a go first and then dismiss it if you feel the same way.
Above all, fill your diary (yes even on 'school nights') and you never know who'll you meet!

Good luck
MT

metamorphic

s'up OP? how YOU doing?

but enough of all that been in the same boat meself for the last while, but recently have started going out more. Takes a bit of effort as alot of friends are shacked up, but so far I've found it worth the effort.

Nothing lasting has come about but at least you feel like you're doing something with your weekends/spare time. Plus it helps the confidence as you have small encounters here and there along the way.

I'm not much of a drinker but still find pubs/clubs a good place to go. Sad to say the drink helps but people are more chatty with a drink or 2 in them.

If it's really not your thing then your network of friends might be where the answer lies. Tell them to update the facebook pages so you can go stalking and don't panic.

DenMan

Hi OP

What do you like doing yourself outside work hours? Do you have any hobbies or interests? Can you play a musical instrument? There are many more ways to meet people as well than the pub. Find out what you like and work on it for a while. If you like writing, put something together and when you are ready join a book club, have other people look at what you came up with. Whatever takes your fancy at all, exploit it and then see where it takes you. Being here on the Boards is a great way to start. Good luck.

lifelonglufc

I think I may be the male equivalent to you!

But the advice I've been getting is to not get my hopes up about meeting "her" in a pub or club but instead in the random places where you don't expect it!

I think its just a case of let it happen, and dont try too hard!

biko

Internet dating?

Dudess

All these threads from young women afraid of being left on the shelf are getting quite depressing. Where are they getting this message from?
I thought Irish society had moved on from the John B. Keane days. I suppose a lot of girls have their mothers' outlooks drilled into them. I can't relate to that because even though my mum got married at 24 and had her first baby at 25, that was the early 70s (in fact she was considered quite a late starter at the time :eek:) and she is aware of how times have changed in the past 35+ years. She's also quite shocked at how young she was and would encourage women to hold on as long as they can before settling down. Never once has she put pressure on me so I suppose that has helped shape my views.

OP, these are the best years of your life. You shouldn't be worrying about finding a partner. You're 27 and afraid you'll end up alone for the rest of your life (another 60-ish years, all going well): do you not see how irrational that is?

Get out there and enjoy your social life - you say you love going out, so keep doing it. And in fairness, when you ask what club would be good to join, how do you expect us to answer when we don't know your interests? What are you interested in?
You may be thin but it would still be unhealthy for you not to be active, so instead of going for a walk on you own, what about attending a dance class or aerobics? Exercise is highly beneficial for your state of mind, not just for losing weight. Pilates might be good as these involve weights which could help give you more of a shape. Yoga? A movie club? Art? Do you like reading? Book clubs used to be for old fogeys but not any more. Ditto cookery classes. And hiking/hill-walking classes. And doing voluntary work would be brilliant. Or what about a cycling club? Creative writing?
Do you ever meet up with, or call over to friends, during the week? It sounds like you have too much time to think, which often leads to panicky thoughts.

And if you love going out, head out Friday and Saturday night if you can. Don't get pissed though - you don't have to drink at all.

DenMan

biko wrote: »

Internet dating?

Says she does not want to go down that route.

Special K

Hey listen here, you're 27 and you've had a 2 year relationship so you're obviously not that bad! [I'm 22 and haven't really had a proper boyfriend, unless meeting the same guy a couple of times counts! Ha!] So relax. Apparently, he'll come when you least expect it Find a hobby to focus your attention of and don't worry about a fella. Apparently, they're sometimes more trouble than they're worth!

metaoblivia

OP, I'm a 26 year old singleton, and I see where you're coming from. If you want to meet someone special, you have to start meeting more people. You should go out more, socialize, and make new friends. Going to work, and then coming home every night isn't going to cut it.
I know you said you're not interested in joining a gym, but I made several friends at my gym. I also made some friends through work, both within my own company and within the companies near mine.
You can also take a cooking/art/<insert something that interests you> course, join a choir, do volunteer work, go to wine tastings. Get into the habit of being friendly and open to meeting new people. But don't stay at home and think that you can't go anywhere because you're single, or because you don't have anyone to go out with.

Singlegal

Singlegal wrote: »

I'm a recently single gal out of a 2 year relationship and I'm 27 years old.

I'm scared I'll end up alone!!

Em, you're a bit young to be fretting about ending up alone don;t ya think?

Just relax, enjoy yourself and dont reject the option of meeting new people and you'll be sorted!


Just to add, the last 3 girls Ive seen were met

- at a club :rolleyes: bad start
- through a friend ..... getting better
- chatted her up out of nowhere by just walking up and saying "hi, I'm Neil" and hopin she didnt freak out, which she didnt.

Dragan

I was recently chatting to a friend who was bemoaning his inability to meet a lass and all i said to him was that he needs to open up to the possibility of anything happening.

There is far too much structure placed on how we think about meeting possible partners. We tend to assume it needs to be in a certain situation or circumstance. It doesn't.

Everyday you interact in some small way with countless people...so why can't these turn into something more? Normally the only limitation is the one that we place on ourselves and thats it.

I haven't been in a club more than twice in the last 6 months. I have gone to see DJ's and have gone to gigs but i don't go there to meet "women" i go there for fun and to meet people. And yet, simply by putting myself in situations and interacting with the other people in them i have had a nice rate of going on dates over that same period. I have met some very interesting people.

You can talk to someone on the bus or in a queue somewhere. You can chat up the person behind the glass in the bank ( I did this with success ). You can smile at the person behind the bar or on the street. Find yourself standing around with other people? Talk to them.

People think that acting in such a way is brash or loud or arrogant. It's not. You can put a part of your personality into almost anything you do throughout the day and spark things with people.

Drop the limitations and it's amazing what happens.

ponygirl

"Drop the limitations and it's amazing what happens."

Love it! Gonna remember that one.

And so true, it's amazing how shifting your thinking/preconceptions about a situation can truly change everything.
Get busy living - the more you focus on what's missing/not working/why your life isn't what you expected it to be - the more you're missing out on what it really is/can be.

bread

I know you have said you are not interested in interned dating but having had the same panic that you are experiencing, I joined www.okcupid.com in February. It's different to other dating sites as there are quizzes and lots of fun things to do. I am currently seeing someone i met on the site so i would highly recommend it.

Other than that, get yourself involved in something you are interesed in. I spent some time volunteering at film festivals etc....just to get myself out there and meet new people. Met some great people and it got me out of my comfort zone.

IanCurtis

Dudess wrote: »

All these threads from young women afraid of being left on the shelf are getting quite depressing. Where are they getting this message from?

....says Dudess happy with the boyfriend.

Here's a tip Dudess, don't comment on things you know nothing about for the wellbeing of the OP eh?

SarahSassy

IanCurtis wrote: »

....says Dudess happy with the boyfriend.

Here's a tip Dudess, don't comment on things you know nothing about for the wellbeing of the OP eh?

Miaow... She wasnt born with a boyfriend so I am sure she has some experience to bring to the post... Dont spill that bowl of milk now....

Dudess

IanCurtis wrote: »

....says Dudess happy with the boyfriend.

Here's a tip Dudess, don't comment on things you know nothing about for the wellbeing of the OP eh?

That was a general comment actually, not specifically directed at the OP. I was remarking on how so many single young women have been brainwashed into believing there's a danger of them being alone for life. I really don't see the point in your comment.

IanCurtis

SarahSassy wrote: »

Miaow... She wasnt born with a boyfriend so I am sure she has some experience to bring to the post... Dont spill that bowl of milk now....

She doesn't.

If you look through her posting history, it's littered with sanctamonious replies like this.

It doesn't help the OP's situation and smacks of arrogance.

If you can relate, by all means help, if not, don't.

As the 90's classic goes Hey, Hey (Can You Relate?)

Ginny

Meh, stop looking and enjoy being yourself, how recent is recently out of a relationship?

I'm 7 months out of my last relationship and not a sniff of another bloke around, but I'm not bothered.
The amount of girls I see out there looking for a relationship is scary, when what some of them need is a sense of being more secure in themselves.
Im my mind I'll meet someone somewhere at some stage, I'm happy enough in myself, not a horribly disfigured gargoyle and can hold a semi decent conversation
So I'm sure I'll meet somone but its not something I'm going to focus on or get worried about.

Dudess

I was single from 23 to 28 and didn't get remotely bothered by it. In fact I had a blast and wouldn't change a thing.

And what about the other advice I gave? Don't pretend all I said was the comment you highlighted.

If it's that much of a concern to you, maybe YOU should give the OP some useful advice?

Special K

PS I also joined okcupid in February [coincidental or what!] and whilst I haven't had much luck [I met one guy, didn't work out] it's still fun talking to new people, and I admit, it's colourful and bright and fun [admittedly with the tests and the likes!] However if you've said it's not for you, then it's not for you. I think you need to be open to the idea in order to try it!

LegacyUser

Sorry Ian but you are ruining a good thread with your nonsense! Dudess gives great advice and also adds her own opinions on things!! you have written nothin to help the op!! you should be banned for off the subject posting!!!

OP i am 28 and i can totally relate to your situation!! i keep wondering when Mr right is going to present himself! i have decided now that i am going to stop looking as it is when you give up looking they appear! i have started doing more things - going for walks in the park is a new thing of mine and to see some gorgeous men walking their dogs - it gets you wondering maybe you could meet someone that way! either way you have to go out more and try something new! i do that - i made the pact with myself that i would go /do something new every week!

Good luck and i hope our ship sails in for us soon

IanCurtis

Dudess, please don't use the OP's plight as a rant against women today.

It is the personal issue forum after all, take those kind of rants to humanities or, better still, after hours.

Special K

And for the benefit of the OP and all, could ye stay on topic :P

Ginny

Ian get a grip, if you have a problem with the posts report them.

Dudess

IanCurtis wrote: »

Dudess, please don't use the OP's plight as a rant against women today.

It is the personal issue forum after all, take those kind of rants to humanities or, better still, after hours.

"You're not a headmistress so don't talk down to me please."

IanCurtis

Dudess wrote: »

"You're not a headmistress so don't talk down to me please."

Dudess is quoting PMs I sent to her, in public now.

Wibbs

And IanCurtis you can take an infraction for posting off topic, with video enhancement no less. Kudos. Infraction none the less. You reply to this or continue in this vein and it's a banning. You know the rules, it's late and I'm trigger happy. Everybody move along

IanCurtis

Apologies Wibbs, that's me withdrawn now

Put the video down to weekend exhuberance!

Looby_Loo

Singlegal wrote: »

I'm scared I'll end up alone!!

I have a similar story (broke up with boyfriend of 6yrs just over a year ago) and sometimes I wonder if I will ever find a guy. But I am making the effort to get out there and meet new people and am very much enjoying the single life at present.
I usually do meet guys at the pub (I have met my two serious boyfriends there) so it is possible. Just relax and enjoy getting out there and you may just meet the right guy when you least expect it.

MJOR

Met my soon to be hubby on the net! It's great and not at all what you'd expect...

I went in with no expectations whatsoever.... Went on a few dates and then just met MR Right....

courageoussteve

Don't worry, I'll be along shortly! (only kidding). But really there of loads of guys out there looking. Sometimes I wonder when i will meet a nice girl!

To quote Bob "Don't worry, be happy "

Silent Rain

Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems pretty obvious to me. If you dont think you're gonna meet the right person in a club or on the net, fine, dont bother looking there. You're probably looking for somebody whom you can enjoy things with together, so just pick something you like and start using it to socialise. Tennis Clubs, gyms, hobby classes, even things like tag rugby are are great way to meet new people. I believe that when you stop looking for something, it usually appears straight away, so chill, kick back and get involved in something else and the odds of meeting somebody should greatly increase. -- The writer of this accepts absolutely no liability for any actions based on the comments above, as they too are young (relatively) and single, so probably dont have a clue, but hey, why worry ?

How Strange

Op, unfortunately the usual cliched responses of join a club, volunteer and stop trying are quite true.

You have to drag your a55 off the sofa at night and go out and do things. Volunteering is a fantastic idea and no, there are no guarantees you'll meet someone but it will enrich your life by doing something meaningful and helpful with your time.

Don't be afraid to go to gigs or whatever on your own.

Essentially be brave and don't waste your life i.e. free time in the evenings and at weekends mopping around wondering where the hell is he or going to places where you think you'll meet a guy. Build up your own life for you. If you go out make sure it's to enjoy yourself and have a good time. Anything else is a bonus. I would think that a woman having a great time on a night out is far more attractive than one who has that predatorial man hunting look about her. I agree with Dudara; don't think your life proper starts when you meet a guy or you have a bf.

kmick

Why can't you meet people in a pub? I mean exacty what is it that precludes meeting a man in a pub, chatting for a brief while and getting a phone number? Is it just that the standard of men to be found in a pub is lower than general society? I am not taking a swipe I am just interested.

How Strange

kmick wrote: »

Why can't you meet people in a pub? I mean exacty what is it that precludes meeting a man in a pub, chatting for a brief while and getting a phone number? Is it just that the standard of men to be found in a pub is lower than general society? I am not taking a swipe I am just interested.

In my experience of meeting Irish guys in pubs, this is the usual scenario - they won't come near you until they have about 15 pints and maybe a few vodka and cokes in them. Just for some courage. Then they come over and they slur and spit all over you at which stage even the most gorgeous guy becomes very unattractive.

If it was a foreign guy he'd be over to you as soon as he clapped eyes on you and would get your phone number etc without the support of Arthur Guinness.

I'm sure it works the other way around for guys meeting girls too.

AngryBadger

Everyone has made the point that you need to be open to meeting someone anywhere. If you go out with the notion that "I couldn't possible date someone I met in a pub" then you will never meet someone in a pub. So as everyone else is saying, open up to meeting people in other places, but that's not the main thrust *snigger* of this post.

I've pondered long and hard (as have many of us) on why it is that people have such difficulty meeting members of the opposite gender.

Guys always assume that it's easy for women because on any given day it's a given that your average woman need only turn up, and there will be a dozen guys waiting to attend her. Conversely women tend to assume it's easier for men, because we don't have the immediacy of a ticking biologcial clock (something I'm not personally convinced about, howsoever).

Even so, these assumptions, and the polarised nature that tends toe xist between what most men/women want, shouldn't account for the difficulties we encounter. If I start talking to a woman in a bar, or wherever, we'll establish quickly whether there's any remote attraction between us, so that we can decide to stay or go. Unless of course we never get to the stage of actually communicating any intent to one and other.

So, I'm saying that it shouldn't be so difficult to at least "screen" people as potential partners, unless there's some reason we don't get to communicate with them. So why might someone start chatting to person A, but not to person B? And I think this is where the OP, (and many peoples) problem lies.

We all have preconceptions about the people around us, even me. These don't have to be bad preconceptions, but they are preconceptions nonetheless and so they warp our perspective on reality to one degreee or another. Ignoring the "value" in certain preconceptions, and focusing on their role in shall we say "pre-coitus interaction" *snigger* the point is, if I don't talk to 9 people out of every 10 I meet, then I automatically have just a 10 % chance of meeting someone I'm attracted to, and that's assuming the one person I talk to is someone I interface well with.

So OP, you assume that you won't meet the kind of guy you find attractive in a bar/club, because of whatever opinions/preconceptions you have about these places. But what you fail to realise is that while your opinion might apply to a certain amount of guys in abrs (let's say 40 % for arguments sake), they don't apply to the other 60 % who may be perfectly nice guys, but in your head any guy you meet in a bar is unsuitable, and so you never meet loads of perfectly nice guys.

But of course you never know that, because you never interacted with them, and therefore never had the chance to come up with an informed opinion of them, you assumed that whatever guys you had met were obviously the best of the lot, and based on your experience they were the best of a BAD lot, and thus gave you grounds thinking you'd never meet a nice guy in these places.

Whereas the reality is that you've only given a small percentage of all the guys in pubs/clubs a remote chance to interact with you.

So in short, and I'm really just re-iterating what most other people have said but with numbers to back it up (because you can't argue with numbers ), you need to open your mind OP, if a guy says hi, or flirts with you in a pub/club, say hi/flirt back, if he turns out to be a jerk, so what? No skin off your nose, it's not like you've risked anything is it?

So why not stop writing guys in certain areas off, and open up to the notion that you could meet a lovely guy/girl in any location while doing virtually anything! Like buying a sandwich in a pizzeria, but that's another story...

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

God I feel your pain, I am in a relationship now AT LAST but you might as well be asking for the moon its so hard to meet men in this country!

I was single for so long I cant tell you, before ye all start jumping to conclusions, I'm attractive, dont smell, am a good listener, not up meself and well, what Im saying is there is nothing wrong with me!

I have family in Manchester and any time I visited there I would be scraping the men off me, the friends of my famliy could not understand what is wrong with Irish men when it comes to asking women out.

Suffice to say I had actually, I mean REALLY given up when lo and behold I met a lad at a festival last year, I expected the usual but this lad broke the mould, in that he was forward enough and confident enough to let me know he liked me and asked me out without the usual cryptic "reading between the lines" merry dance I would usually be lead!

Anyway all is going well over a year later so it goes to show ya, there is hope, its very very very hard I know but keep trying and just get yourself out there!

Lads, this is not putting ye down or anything, the shyness is nice in Irish men, but all in all ye need to be a bit more forward to us women, we are not mind readers and well, just take the chance ....if the woman says no, her LOSS !!!

Dragan

HardAsRock wrote: »

Lads, this is not putting ye down or anything, the shyness is nice in Irish men, but all in all ye need to be a bit more forward to us women, we are not mind readers and well, just take the chance ....if the woman says no, her LOSS !!!

While I know where you are coming from ( I have been assured that my own forward attitude is a rarity ) the simple fact is that it seems you are shirking the responsibility of finding a partner into a partner finding you.

You can't sit around and expect someone to come along, you need to approach people you like and maybe let THEM know that you like them. The days of men having to get everything going are dead.

That’s not struggling to find a partner, it's sitting around waiting to be found.

RedXIV

Nail on the head there Dragan.

OP, it might be worth reading that post above again in case you are guilty of the same affliction of "waiting" for a guy instead of "looking" for one.

In these modern times of equality between the sexes, it's hypocritical to makes us do ALL the work

nacho libre

he might be saying where is 'she' and the two of you will pass without speaking

AngryBadger

HardAsRock wrote: »

Lads, this is not putting ye down or anything, the shyness is nice in Irish men, but all in all ye need to be a bit more forward to us women, we are not mind readers and well, just take the chance ....if the woman says no, her LOSS !!!

On the one hand I agree with you about sticking with it.

But on the other hand, it grinds my gears when I hear women say this. We've been over this about a million times in other threads, but the short and long of it is

1) As an irish guy I find a lot of irish women are totally ignorant when you approach them, now I'm not one to be phased by that, but can completely understand why your average irish guy wouldn't be arsed. In other words, it's not always shyness.

2) Why would you be sitting around waiting for someone to pick you up? Why wouldn't you take action yourself?

Wurly

AngryBadger wrote: »

On the one hand I agree with you about sticking with it.

But on the other hand, it grinds my gears when I hear women say this. We've been over this about a million times in other threads, but the short and long of it is

1) As an irish guy I find a lot of irish women are totally ignorant when you approach them, now I'm not one to be phased by that, but can completely understand why your average irish guy wouldn't be arsed. In other words, it's not always shyness.

2) Why would you be sitting around waiting for someone to pick you up? Why wouldn't you take action yourself?

I have to say, I would never ask a guy out. If he wanted me that much, he'd ask me out.

Simple.

Why it doesn't work for me the other way round? Well, i'm not sure. But i've always felt that the guy should notice the girl first.

Any guy waiting for me to ask them out, would be waiting for eternity.:)

This may seem old fashioned but...

RedXIV

Tri wrote: »

Any guy waiting for me to ask them out, would be waiting for eternity.:)

So if you knew a guy liked you and was too shy to ask you out you'd leave him waiting? awwww Tri!!

While this issue doesn't affect me, i've no problem being forward, i know some guys who have real issues with it and thanks to some fantastic women who decided they wanted it enough to throw this old fashioned thinking out the window.

I'm with the Angry Badger, women can be very ignorant to guys for approaching, so in my opionion you can have equal rights or chivilary, not both

DenMan

HardAsRock wrote: »

Hi OP,

God I feel your pain, I am in a relationship now AT LAST but you might as well be asking for the moon its so hard to meet men in this country!

I was single for so long I cant tell you, before ye all start jumping to conclusions, I'm attractive, dont smell, am a good listener, not up meself and well, what Im saying is there is nothing wrong with me!

I have family in Manchester and any time I visited there I would be scraping the men off me, the friends of my famliy could not understand what is wrong with Irish men when it comes to asking women out.

Suffice to say I had actually, I mean REALLY given up when lo and behold I met a lad at a festival last year, I expected the usual but this lad broke the mould, in that he was forward enough and confident enough to let me know he liked me and asked me out without the usual cryptic "reading between the lines" merry dance I would usually be lead!

Anyway all is going well over a year later so it goes to show ya, there is hope, its very very very hard I know but keep trying and just get yourself out there!

Lads, this is not putting ye down or anything, the shyness is nice in Irish men, but all in all ye need to be a bit more forward to us women, we are not mind readers and well, just take the chance ....if the woman says no, her LOSS !!!

Congratulations HardAsRock. Over a year new with your OH.

Now what I am about to say may/may not get me into hot water but here it goes anyway. Can somebody tell me why some Irish guys find it hard chatting up girls when they are here in Ireland, and when they go abroad on holidays/work we have no problems whatsoever. I don't have any problems chatting to Irish girls here and when I worked abroad again I didn't have any trouble either. A lot of foreign girls love Irish guys. Is it a confidence thing? Struggle at home and have no problems at all overseas? I have seen and known Irish girls struggle badly when abroad. The reminisce about being at home, missing their friends, family etc. They rarely integrate in another societies and as a result this excludes them interacting with the locals. I used to get slagged by other Irish people because I really made an effort to interact, had a foreign girlfriend and made the most of my time abroad while contributing and interacting with the locals. Am I being unfair? If anybody has had similar experiences I would love to hear their responses. Cheers.

Wurly

RedXIV wrote: »

So if you knew a guy liked you and was too shy to ask you out you'd leave him waiting? awwww Tri!!

While this issue doesn't affect me, i've no problem being forward, i know some guys who have real issues with it and thanks to some fantastic women who decided they wanted it enough to throw this old fashioned thinking out the window.

I'm with the Angry Badger, women can be very ignorant to guys for approaching, so in my opionion you can have equal rights or chivilary, not both

But you see, I think no matter how shy a guy is. If he really likes a woman, he ain't gonna let her slip through his fingers.

I agree with you and Mr A badger on the women being ignorant thing. Ive witnessed this on a few occasions out in clubs. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The guys were just being friendly but they were going on as if they were being leered at and salivated on.

RedXIV

Tri wrote: »

But you see, I think no matter how shy a guy is. If he really likes a woman, he ain't gonna let her slip through his fingers.

You have alot more to learn about shy men lil lady