A random girl I like

LegacyUser

Ok this is a bit more of a light hearted post compare to some of the stuff on this , but im just wondering how the hell do you approach a random girl during the day in a canteen in work. We work in a big place and I never meet her through the job, I just see her at the canteen.
I wont lie , she has done nothing to indicate she is into me whatsoever but I am quiet good once the ice has broken but theres no way I can soberly just go up and ask a girl out!
I just cant physically do it. Dont get me wrong, I do enjoy a bit of scoring from time to time, its always been when Im drinking with friends and full of confidence, but even then its usually because one of my mates has broken the ice.
I wish I could grow a proper pair of balls and just go up and treat her as if i know her already because its not like ive any social problems.

Wurly

How about organising a few drinks with your mates from work and inviting her along.

Say something like - 'its a shame the departments don't mix in this place. So many people you never get to meet' etc etc. Then invite her to the drinks, tell her to say it to her department.

Then all go out. Have a few drinks. Get chattin.

If it goes arseways, sure you only invited her and others out for drinks.

if it goes well - happy days!

Good luck. Oh the excitement of it all. I love it.:pac:

Wibbs

What Tri said. Sooner or later you're gonna have to bite the bullet. What have you got to lose when you really look at it? Not a lot TBH.

Damzilla

Do you know her name? Or just know her to see? Maybe if you knew some of her friends in work you could get in that way? As in getting talking to her friends and then to her?

Talliesin

I've found "hello" is a good opener.

RedXIV

Ask her for a woman's opinion on something, be totally confused by her logic and get her to explain it inserting as much humour as possible. job done

DenMan

Hi OP

What about your buddy from work?, the one who you spend your lunch hour with. If you go ahead and go with what the other posters have said and arrange a night out for all the staff, you may miss out. If you like her, go up to her during lunch, ask her if she would be willing to sit beside you. If all goes well during lunch ask her if she would like to go out with you. If she is single and on her own at lunch time, then go for it. What is the worst that can happen?, she will turn you down. That is no biggie. Do the best thing you feel is better for yourself. Good luck.

Pen1987

RedXIV wrote: »

Ask her for a woman's opinion on something, be totally confused by her logic and get her to explain it inserting as much humour as possible. job done

Dunno how 'natural' that sounds... Im imagining standing in the canteen talking to a load of the lads and then a topic coming up, the OP spinning around and nailing her with "WHATS YOUR OPINION ON THIS MATTER!" and her totally freezing and thinking hes a nut.

Drink tea sit near her on a different table with your back to her, then turn around and *realise* youve no suger for your tea, ask her to pass a bit of sugar over... (I presume theres sugar on most tables in the canteen?)... overwise when shes sorting out her lunch at the canteen just sort yours out beside her and ask her to pass you sugar/milk/teabags whatever... it will help her realise youre not some nut trying to chat her up after that nod to her when you see her around and smile, eventually she'll get comfortable enough to chat to you (after about a week or so)... you can break that final bit of ice with "sorry I KNOW I'm always asking for youre help here but, gwan pass us the milk there once more will ya?" and smile... its all about the smile, just be comfortable and she will aswell. After she passes you whatever say "nice job" hahah...

jester77

Most places have a Summer party so that's a good way to chat to her.
What dept. does she work in, can't be that hard to come up with a reason that you need some help from her!

forestfruits

I like the way you think there pen1987 thats a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a fox! She couldnt possibly think your a creepy weirdo and you dont have to go to the hassle of doin the whole work drinks thing!
I like it - op go for it and keep us posted!:D

RedXIV

Pen1987 wrote: »

Dunno how 'natural' that sounds... Im imagining standing in the canteen talking to a load of the lads and then a topic coming up, the OP spinning around and nailing her with "WHATS YOUR OPINION ON THIS MATTER!" and her totally freezing and thinking hes a nut.

Ah if thats the best you can imagine, i'm losing hope in ya

While i like your approach, i haven't the patience for it. I don't like having to work my way up through:

random guy
random guy who spoke to me
work collegue
work collegue who seems ok
aquaintance
etc etc

9 times out of 10 if you don't make a complete ass of yourself, people will generally chat to you for a bit. Especially if you apparently have a definite aim in the conversation which promotes interaction. Thats why i like the "your opinion" approach, the other person usually thinks about the question than the intention, when you ask to explain, you show you don't think they are an idiot and then (and very important) you leave while showing gratitude.

MJOR

RedXIV wrote: »

Ask her for a woman's opinion on something, be totally confused by her logic and get her to explain it inserting as much humour as possible. job done

As a woman that would get me i must admit....

Pen1987

RedXIV wrote: »

Ah if thats the best you can imagine, i'm losing hope in ya

While i like your approach, i haven't the patience for it. I don't like having to work my way up through:

random guy
random guy who spoke to me
work collegue
work collegue who seems ok
aquaintance
etc etc

9 times out of 10 if you don't make a complete ass of yourself, people will generally chat to you for a bit. Especially if you apparently have a definite aim in the conversation which promotes interaction. Thats why i like the "your opinion" approach, the other person usually thinks about the question than the intention, when you ask to explain, you show you don't think they are an idiot and then (and very important) you leave while showing gratitude.

Ah you know I was exaggerating with the 'nail her with a "whats your opinion!" thing'... but still I dont think its a normal way usually to start talking to someone in the first place. You could simply end up getting a look like 'why are you asking me this?' or 'what the ****...' I have in the past!

Sure, try the opinion thing and some women might open up to you, but to do it you have to be in a conversation already really with someone else where youre disagreeing on some topic and need someone (her) to give the final 'vote' (walking into a room and asking her something out the blue, not regular, or reading a magazine and looking up and going 'here, what do you think of this?'... meh, possible but not usual)... plus to do this you have to firstly disagree over something, you could hardly go "exactly, thats what I was thinking *end convo*"... secondly you have to play dumb once you do disagree with her, to get the humour into it is then can become forced and to put logic behind idiocy thats youre faking is DIFFICULT and unnatural... so you have to disagree with something you probably truly agree with her on, then explain why you cant understand something you do really understand and get her to explain the logic behind something you really dont need the logic explained on... to be honest I think that takes more work, effort and has more risk of making yourself look like an idiot (which youre TRYING to do, but in a funny way I know, but easy to fcuk up) and or a nut case than the simple slightly slower less risky easier way I suggested already. Just my opinion though, work it how you want OP.

Redpunto

How much do you know about the girl, do you know her name, maybe email her "by accident" about an urgent query so that shell have to respond. Make sure shes not attached before you do anything

Victor

Go sit next to her - even ask "Can I sit here?" if you want. Mutter something about work, ask her what department she's in, introduce yourself.

Check if she has a wedding ring. :eek:

If i was gonna try it on with a girl from a work department (I used to work in a big office so I know what u mean) Id wait until she's not sitting with 20 friends with her "Do not disturb" aura.... and Id wander up to her, ask if the seats taken, basically act like u had nobody to sit with either so u figured you'd meet someone new, then i'd sit down and say "Hi Im Neil" ask her name, and then try and get her talking about herself, dont do all the talking but if shes not talking dont sit in silence either. Dont hang out of her, and at the end say "Well it was lovely meeting u (insert name), we should do lunch again sometime, what do ya say?"

chump

I've actually used the below advice to little effect in the past. I really do reckon it has it's merits however.

Buy beans for lunch one day,
walk by her,
trip over a conveniently placed bowling ball
spill the beans down her top

It will be very embarassing for her.
You will get great kudos from the lads.
You will have an opportunity to invite her out as a means of apology.
If it works out, you have a great story.
If it doesn't work out, it aint a bad story either.

LegacyUser

some nice tips here thanks, for me my only problem is breaking the ice, I know absolutely nothing about her so its just by looks im attracted to her, so obviously i wouldnt be too put down by a rejection. But the problem is Im just so bad at being the one who starts the conversation. This isnt a fear of women thing either, I couldnt see myself starting a conversation with a random bloke or a girl i wasnt attracted to sitting near me either. When it comes to meetin women ive always sort of relied on my friends getting to know them but here im on my own.

The opinion one might be good alright, a bit more natural than going up asking her 20 questions.
Ill let ya know how I do,(although it could be a while )

IanCurtis

chump wrote: »

I've actually used the below advice to little effect in the past. I really do reckon it has it's merits however.

Buy beans for lunch one day,
walk by her,
trip over a conveniently placed bowling ball
spill the beans down her top

It will be very embarassing for her.
You will get great kudos from the lads.
You will have an opportunity to invite her out as a means of apology.
If it works out, you have a great story.
If it doesn't work out, it aint a bad story either.

You trying to get this guy fired?

geminilady

yeah i have to agree with the other guy, i dont think the bean thing would be my thing either. dont get me wrong it may have got the other guy the girl, but it would be terrible to have food all over ya!
Does she look at you at all? if she does she obv notices you so chances are she might like the look of you too. Try and sit near at her, next time you see her (eg down the corrider) smile, so then when you break the ice it wont be that much of a shock to her.
you could start like " so you new here? (only if she is!) or like getting up to much for the weekend, or food looks nice, then smile and then just chit chat! good luck! and deffo keep us updated!: )