Mr Darcy 1-3 - caution, may be NSFW

Lone Stone

Yay we got the forum !

Ok so this is a project i had from college to create a comic with photoshop.
Started it out with your basic webcomic look (well i think so anyway) and then tried to push my self a little in the third one.

Now as you can see in my signature "i cant spell so dont flame me"
I know there is bad spelling etc in this so keep any rude comments you mite like to throw at me about my inability to spell correctly away from my precious blue eyes.

Anyway this offended some people dont really know why.
was just for laughs hopefully it wont be found offensive apart from my spelling :P currently working on part four for ages cant bring myself to work on it any more im just burned out on mr darcy.

The whole brief was basicly about the use of photoshop not necisirly the story or character development.

Anyway here you go !

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Lone Stone

MR DARCY EPISODE 2 - PART 2



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Lone Stone

MR DARCY EPISODE 3 - WANTED



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Lone Stone

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phew took a while to do all those img tags

Fysh

Episode 1

Cover - interesting image, although the visual effect on the text is distracting and makes it less easy to read.

Page 1 - The shape of the panel in the top left hand corner doesn't lead to a particularly easy transition across the page. The varying line thicknesses lead to a confusing sense of focus & depth perception, and lead to the coffee table being the focal point. The text boxes and speech bubbles could use changing, and should have colours which help set them apart from the background colour.

Page 2 - The panel transitions work better here, and the line thickness seems more consistent (except for the face of the wife in the rightmost panel). I like the use of light and dark in the empty space around the characters.

Page 3 - The panel divisions would benefit from being more clearly marked. The perspective in the bottom right panel is a bit off, although the contrast between full colour in the kitchen and pseudo-black & white in front of the tv is nice. I like the "flickering television" effect in the top right panel.

Page 4 - I like the panel divider here, although it would be better if it went all the way. The contrast between light and dark in the left panel is great, but unfortunately leaves the right panel looking a little too dark. The previous panel established a light source behind Mr Darcy, but that has disappeared in the right panel.

Page 5 - Very strong closing page, the use of colour and flickering-style application of it, combined with a good use of line thickness to focus the eye.


Episode 2

Cover - I like the effect of the foreground material, and the colour works quite nicely. Perhaps the tree could benefit from being slightly darker, but I think it works as it is.

Page 1 - The first panel doesn't mesh with the cartoony style of the rest of the page, which works quite well. The bottom right panel looks like it's been horizontally compressed, and the text feels cramped on top of it.

Page 2 - I like this page but stylistically it doesn't hang together very well. Each panel works very nicely by itself, but they don't mesh. The third panel is particularly good. The texture and colour of the blood is jarring in the context of the page, although the borders and panel dividers work very nicely.

Page 3 - The lines, shading and colour in this page all work very nicely (althoug the background in the bottom left looks a tad pale). The only criticism I'd give of th is page is the text - it should be pulled closer into the panel, and the text box would benefit from further design consideration - perhaps use rounded edges rather than an angular box?

Page 4 - I quite like this page. It works as it is, and the middle left panel is disconcerting in a good way, which works nicely with the text of the story.

Page 5 - I get what you're going for with this page but it doesn't quite work. Perhaps if the left panel with the Darcy Stick designs were on a yellowing piece of paper in scratchy pencil style, or something like that - as it stands it doesn't quite fit with the flow of the story. The top right panel works ok (although the speech bubble could use a redesign), but the lighting in the bottom panel is off - the position of the light should have different shadows on the head. The speech bubble could use redesigning as well, the angular edges don't suit the work.

Page 6 - The lines on the top left panel are too thick compared to the lines. The top right panel doesn't have this problem, although the squad car seems to have been crushed up. The bottom row of panels is fine other than the bottom right panel, the rows of copied Darcy Sticks don't look right and don't shrink with perspective.

Page 7 - There seem to be shadows missing from the top left panel, given the brightness of the light. The rest of the panels look ok, although some of the text needs speech bubbles - in particular, the top right panel text could use with re-blocking.

Page 8 - The panel shapes in this page are a bit strange, I found myself going back to the opening panel on this page. I'm not sure how this could best be redesigned, but as it is it doesn't flow properly across the page.

I'll stop for now and come back to do Episode 3 tomorrow - I've been typing and reading for nearly 3/4 of an hour! :eek:

Lone Stone

Thanks fysh
yea i would just say this was my first attempt at a comic i do find it hard with the layout i know it goes from left - right as a reader but even with that i drew them all out in landscape which i shouldnt have done but i just found it alot easyer to draw it out that way. When i first started it with part one i done it in a few hours messing around and was intended to be a silent comic
but then i hadnt much to do and just done more untill i had to hand it up.

I know some of the pannels change in there looks especialy in the end of part 2 thats because i that was part of part 3 but i decided to add it in with part two. So it looks a bit stupid really i think.

Im still having hassle trying to place speach bubbles its a simple thing but i end up adding extra width & height to a page so im not just having speach bubbles over the actual image, i tried to get around that by leaving them out completely and just using a diiffrent color font in some pages.

And if part of it looks sloppy i had a deadline most of its rushed which i did plan on going back to redo and i had to leave out some pages i just didnt have the time to finish them so i copy and pasted the darcy sticks lol not my favorite page.

The paneling well see i didnt do this comic out say page 1 for example i just drew everything out the way i wanted all over a sketch book and would go back and forth through the comic and then go back and do a page that was leading to the next page then i would cut them out in photoshop and arange it all that way some scenes i even put together from random sketchs i had.

all 3 of these were really just me exsperimenting with the idea of doing a comic.I think in the third one i kinda had more of an understanding of how to work it out .

I started a fourth one and im trying to keep its layout less chaotic.

like so and im trying to keep it so il have space for the txt bubbles
but i cant bring myself to do anymore of it i started doing another comic
its on hold for now i think.Just cant get into i like i did the first 3

ztoical

Lone Stone wrote: »

Thanks fysh
yea i would just say this was my first attempt at a comic i do find it hard with the layout i know it goes from left - right as a reader but even with that i drew them all out in landscape which i shouldnt have done but i just found it alot easyer to draw it out that way.

you know theres nothing that says that you have to set it left to right - if you can lead the readers eye you can start the story at any point on the page [thou you need to have very strong visual language skills to do that, see Peter Kuper's Metamorphosis for some fine examples]

Also you can do a comic in landscape format thou in comics terms its refered to as widescreen.