Couple Of Jokes

rocky25 · 01-07-2008 11:40pm #1

A young woman went to her mother and says,

"I want to divorce my husband!

Mum asked why?

Girl: “All he is interested in is anal sex.

The day I married him my anus was as big as a 5p, and no it’s as big as a 50p.

Mum says:" You live in a house worth about £1m with all the latest gadgets,

Drive a car worth about £30k,

Go on holiday to best parts of the world 6-9 times a year,

And have over £1k spending money every week right!

Are you telling me you want to give all these up just for 45p!!!????

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I went into a Chinese:D takeaway last night.

The owner of the shop said, "wot do you do for a riving?"

I said,” what do I do for a living?

I'm a bit of a comedian."

So the Chinese chap says,

"Go on then, change colour."

I said,” no! I'm not a chameleon, I'm a comedian."

So then he says,

"Tell me a joke, make me raff."

I said, "You want me to tell you a joke and make you laugh?"

Just then his wok caught fire,

So I said, "Wok! Wok!"

And he said,

"Who’s there?"