Hair Loss Treatment?

WillyWonka

Hi All,

Want to know if anyone has any experience trying any hair loss treatments?
This has probably been asked before and I know the main advise will be to shave it but thats not an option due to a scar.

so any advice about good or bad experiences would be great...

Tom Dunne

WillyWonka wrote: »

Hi All,

Want to know if anyone has any experience trying any hair loss treatments?
This has probably been asked before and I know the main advise will be to shave it but thats not an option due to a scar.

so any advice about good or bad experiences would be great...

Try the natural method - Outer Hebridian Goat Bladder.

You strap it onto your head at night before you go to bed. After a period of approx 4-6 weeks you will encounter growth.

While this growth may not actually be hair, it is better than nothing.

Zaph

Brother Tom, have you not heard the news? The Outer Hebridean goat is now extinct. Demand exceed supply for bladders so it was inevitable really. I hear having your head dribbled on by a yak 7 times a day for 3 months is guaranteed results. My source is not specific about what results you should expect.

Tom Dunne

Zaph wrote: »

Brother Tom, have you not heard the news? The Outer Hebridean goat is now extinct. Demand exceed supply for bladders so it was inevitable really. I hear having your head dribbled on by a yak 7 times a day for 3 months is guaranteed results. My source is not specific about what results you should expect.

Ooops. Must stop recommending it so.

Ok, so goat bladders are out. I hear the Southern Pacific Water Melon Squid also works wonders.

Once that sucker (no pun intended) clasps onto your bald-patch, you have a friend for life.

_blank_

Combover ftw.

I'm cultivating a nice one on my chin.

Will

hold your breath and squeeze real hard. your hair will either grow or you will drop a bomb in your jocks. if all else fails keep holding your breath, it will all be over soon.

trout

I myself have infant porcupine quills embedded in my scalp once a fortnight.

The quills are harvested ethically, of course, and hand inserted by the lovely Ludmilla in a clinic just off Capel Street.

A course of 12 infant porcupines gives me a convincing barnet for roughly two weeks ... roughly €40 a pop.

Tom Dunne

I would just like to point out to Lucy Lu that a concupine is not actually an animal.

Concubine or porcupine. Your call.

Anyway, back on topic.

The Richard Gere Special involves the shearing of approx. 20-30 gerbils. It's a non-invasive procedure, that does not harm the creatures, though they do end up looking a little like baby moles.

A group of Norwegian Monks than knit the gerbil hair into a fine mesh which is applied by a shamen through the medium of dance.

Of course, the dance is purely subjective, some people call it an invasion of personal space, some call an experience akin to riding an upside-down rollercoaster after tripping on hallucinogenics at sub-sonics speeds.

trout

Tom Dunne wrote: »

some people call it an invasion of personal space, some call an experience akin to riding an upside-down rollercoaster after tripping on hallucinogenics at sub-sonics speeds.

Ah. Such is the price of fashion. :cool:

Tom Dunne

trout wrote: »

Ah. Such is the price of fashion. :cool:

Well, Brother trout, as you well know, to look this good *points at trout then at himself* it costs money.

It doesn't just happen.

smashey

WillyWonka wrote: »

Hi All,

Want to know if anyone has any experience trying any hair loss treatments?
This has probably been asked before and I know the main advise will be to shave it but thats not an option due to a scar.

so any advice about good or bad experiences would be great...

Just comb yore backhair up around yore head.

_blank_

WillyWonka wrote: »

so any advice about good or bad experiences would be great...

Oh, I had a bad experience.

An aboriginal tribal leader in The Australian Northern Territories once imparted some of his tribe's ancient knowledge unto me.

It involved the fur of the inside of a Kangaroo's pouch.

As I tried to procure said fur from the animal it kicked me with it's not inconsiderable tail, and knocked me quite a ways, while the tribal elder just stood and mocked me.

He had failed to mention that I first needed to use a boomerang to discommode the Kangaroo.

Talliesin

I've found that Prince shaving cream from Lush and a Gilette Fusion razor work wonders for hair loss.

If I've lots of hair (due to being lazy) I buzz the area with a barber's electric razor first.

Hopefully one day I'll start to go bald, which will save me a lot of effort. In the meantime it takes way too long And I've no interesting scars either

Tom Dunne

smashey wrote: »

Just comb yore backhair up around yore head.

What kind of advice is that?

FFS, the lad comes in here with a serious problem, looking for help from men such as myself, trout, DesF or Zaphora. Not girly flippin' half-arsed, temporary solutions like you suggest.

Anyway, what would a fella like you know about hair loss, you with your big Def Leppard mop?

trout

I found smashey's hairbook ... I mean, facebook :cool:

_blank_

Talliesin wrote: »

Hopefully one day I'll start to go bald,

Ne'er a truer word spoken.

My dream came to pass when I was but a child of sixteen.

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Anyway, what would a fella like you know about hair loss, you with your big Def Leppard mop?

Tom Dunne

trout wrote: »

I found smashey's hairbook ... I mean, facebook :cool:

Ah yes, that's him all right.

Though I am not so sure about the leather jacket. It looks a bit retro.

Then again, smashey is still living in the 80's.

They do that, up North.

smashey

Tom Dunne wrote: »

What kind of advice is that?

FFS, the lad comes in here with a serious problem, looking for help from men such as myself, trout, DesF or Zaphora. Not girly flippin' half-arsed, temporary solutions like you suggest.

Anyway, what would a fella like you know about hair loss, you with your big Def Leppard mop?

trout wrote: »

I found smashey's hairbook ... I mean, facebook :cool:

DesF wrote: »

Ahh,

the folically challenged are showing their true colours regarding their shiny pates.

/points and sniggers.

_blank_

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Then again, smashey is still living in the 80's.

They do that, up North.

Stonewash Denim Jackets.

Mullets.

Gerry Adams using an actors voice.

Welcome to Strabane, 2008.

Tom Dunne

Someday, Brother smashey, someday you will be like us.

I know it's something you aspire to.

Don't fight it, it's only natural. You look up to us, I know it.

smashey

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Someday, Brother smashey, someday you will be like us.

I know it's something you aspire to.

Don't fight it, it's only natural. You look up to us, I know it.

Afraid not Tom. Greying prematurely is all that happens in my clan. :cool:

DesF wrote: »

Stonewash Denim Jackets.

Mullets.

Gerry Adams using an actors voice.

Welcome to Strabane, 2008.

You forgot the white socks. :pac:

Tom Dunne

smashey wrote: »

Afraid not Tom. Gheying prematurely is all that happens in my clan.

Fixed that for you.

dfx-

Tom Dunne wrote: »

FFS, the lad comes in here with a serious problem, looking for help from men such as myself, trout, DesF or Zaphora. Not girly flippin' half-arsed, temporary solutions like you suggest.

Since when was going bald a serious problem?

OP should be site-wide banned, imo

trout

dfx- wrote: »

Since when was going bald a serious problem?

OP should be site-wide banned, imo

Before a site-ban, we like to try facilitation, re-education and more holistic treatments, through the medium of whimsy.

At best, it's a marginal treatment for the OP ... but it's all we know how to do.

If anyone really asked me for serious advice about genuine hair loss ... my response would be "shave yore head"

Pepe LeFrits

A nice natural looking wig is your only solution.

_blank_

Where did you get that pic of jsb?

paddybar

try drawing rabbits all over your head ,from a distance they will look like hares
/slinks away embarrassed for using that old chestnut

justsomebloke

DesF wrote: »

Where did you get that pic of jsb?

especially as I shaved my head nearly immediatly after the one and only time I bleeched my hair (don't ask it involved being drunk and in college)

Dun laoire

*comes in and gently slaps desf's bald patch making a crisp clean noise. Walks back out*

RiotO

It's always the last place you look.

CianRyan

All jokes aside, you can actually get hair growth surgery these days.
I am thankfull to know that, i love my hair!

_blank_

CianRyan wrote: »

All jokes aside, you can actually get hair growth surgery these days.
I am thankfull to know that, i love my hair!

Jokes? What jokes?



Do you know what this forum is called?

CianRyan

Sorry, i posted before i reaslised what this forum is used for.

But anyway, taping a small dog to your head may help.

Gaspode

CianRyan wrote: »

Sorry, i posted before i reaslised what this forum is used for.

But anyway, taping a small dog to your head may help.

Hey, let's keep Mary Harney out of this shall we!

Zaph

deswalsh wrote: »

Hey, let's keep Mary Harney out of this shall we!

He said a small dog

DublinWriter

I swear by the old Irish method of using maiden's water.

...and for the record, do you know just how hard it is to secure virgin's piss in North Dublin these days?