How long to wait before texting/calling?

LegacyUser

Hey Everyone,
Just wondering what everyones opinion is on this?
When you meet a girl out in a club or whatever, how long to wait before you text or call her?

Wibbs

Personally if I got on with someone very well and it appeared to be more than a simple hookup I would just call or text them soon enough. Maybe even the next day. Life is too short for "rules" and all of that.

gaybitch

I'd wait until the next evening, or one day later. Getting a text the next morning/early afternoon could be a bit "whoa" for a girl.

At the same time, it really depends on the circumstances.

brick tamland

Just text her will ya;)

On the way home to make sure they got home safe.....well I would if I was boy.

LegacyUser

as a girl, and one who is not a fan of a clingy 'miss you already' boy, i would like a text some stage the next day, just a simple 'had fun, should do it again soon' thing, that way at least i know he'd want to see me again and i can chillax. then he can text me some time during the week to arrange another meeting.
if its three days later ill assume he's not interested

Ginny

If you like them contact them, this rules stuff is a load of schoolyard nonsence.

Climate Expert

Leave it till Tuesday to setup some action for Thursday. Maybe even wed for fri if you want to play it hard.

Its unfortunate but women do like to be messed around. The nice guy genuine approach will have you shat on from a height with most women.

MagicMarker

You've been with 'most' women i take it?

OP: Just send a text whenever you want, just don't leave it too long.

who's yer one?

Its unfortunate but women do like to be messed around. The nice guy genuine approach will have you shat on from a height with most women.

bull. honkey.


more often than not the arsehole act will get you kicked in the grapes and another night of interenet porn.

i bet some twat of a guy spread the 'chicks love being messed around' myth to justify messing chicks around' and the girls that do like that, dig deep and you'll find they have daddy issues.

Climate Expert

MagicMarker wrote: »

You've been with 'most' women i take it?

OP: Just send a text whenever you want, just don't leave it too long.

About 200-250 which is a fair sample size.

MagicMarker

Climate Expert wrote: »

About 200-250 which is a fair sample size.

Ever wonder why you've been with so many?

fuzzywiggle

The next evening if you really liked her and got on well.

MJOR

text her whenever....... put your mind at ease...

Climate Expert

MagicMarker wrote: »

Ever wonder why you've been with so many?

Yeah, because I know how to play them. That and the fact that I'm awesome.

OP if you want advice take it from somebody who is working the field rather than somebody who struggles to pull on Second Life.

LegacyUser

Who said this was about a particular girl? Maybe I was curious about the subject haha, ya well I text anyway and got a reply fairly promptly but that changed to taking ages, damn these games, unfortunately the school yard games seem to last way beyond the school yard in my experience.

Wurly

Whenever the time feels right for you. Its your life and your brain doing the texting. Therefore - your rules.

Life's too short.

LadyE

Dont start the gameplaying bull****!!! Text her when you want to!!!

Wibbs

QFT. The way I see it, if I want to text or call someone and she sees this and plays it as a game, then we're probably not that compatible and vice versa. Within reason of course. If you're trying to wake her up the next morning at 7, then barring orders and self defence classes for her come into view.

Mikel

Climate Expert wrote: »

About 200-250 which is a fair sample size.

Snigger. Course you have

Wibbs

OK folks keep it on topic. I've a hangover so I'm twitchy...

Looby_Loo

I dont get why these games are played.
I would appreciate a text to see if I got home safely or if not definately the next day

Pj!

Its an age old question that's impossible to answer correctly I think.
Id text the next day but only 1 or 2 messages and then I'd try to end with "text me during the week" or whatever and let her take the next 'move'.

I know there shouldnt be games and all but unfortunately there usually is.

Don't leave it too late and don't bore em either.

Wibbs

If you haven't had that "deep connection" moment and are still feeling each other out and not up, then Forky's advice is pretty spot on.

estar

Moonbaby wrote: »

On the way home to make sure they got home safe.....well I would if I was boy.

manners maketh man.

and if the girl doesnt appreciate the manners, don't lose them. use them on someone else.

text her to make sure that she got home safe. text her either late the next day or the day after, and if you like her arrange a date for later that week. if you leave it more than 3-4 days to contact her, it looks like your not that into her.

which is off putting.

estar

Unreg-curious wrote: »

Who said this was about a particular girl? Maybe I was curious about the subject haha, ya well I text anyway and got a reply fairly promptly but that changed to taking ages, damn these games, unfortunately the school yard games seem to last way beyond the school yard in my experience.

texting is a fairly lame way to romance anyway. just pick up the phone, and have a conversation every couple of days rather than texting someone every couple of hours. What person with an actual life has time to text people every hour on the hour. And then there is the boring analysis of how long between texts, what that means (they have a life?), what the text means why they said x rather than y. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. the text fights over a mis interpreted text. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. all a distraction from the main event.

oh god. can we all please go back to the days of the telephone and no mobiles where you spoke to people either over the phone or face to face.

OP - rather than play text tennis just phone her, thats worth about five million texts and you get more of a sense of a person from a phone conversation - texts could be sent by anyone and are fairly anonymous as regards communication.

just my two cents.

dee8839

I think its nice for a guy to text and make sure I got home safe. After that, the next night or the night after, text again casually, and if you don't get a reply, leave it.

Whatever you do, don't go down the drunken text route. Unattractive and often freaky, for example, one guy recently that I didn't reply to texted later that night with something along the lines of "Hey sex bomb, its ok, I still has respect for yas". Oh good. He uses slightly creepy nicknames and bad grammar, but at least he respects me...

Do you know what I do hate about some girls (and maybe lads, who knows)? The ones that analyse the use of an "x" at the end of a text. As in counting how many there were or the lack thereof. Overanalytic = irritating.

Raekwon

Somebody was watching Swingers it seems

OP as other posters have said don't get involved in silly games, if you like the girl then send her a text when ever you feel like it and see if she is interested in meeting up with you.

Remember, he who hesitates is lost

Petrolium Hat

dee8839 wrote: »

I think its nice for a guy to text and make sure I got home safe. After that, the next night or the night after, text again casually, and if you don't get a reply, leave it.

Whatever you do, don't go down the drunken text route. Unattractive and often freaky, for example, one guy recently that I didn't reply to texted later that night with something along the lines of "Hey sex bomb, its ok, I still has respect for yas". Oh good. He uses slightly creepy nicknames and bad grammar, but at least he respects me...

Do you know what I do hate about some girls (and maybe lads, who knows)? The ones that analyse the use of an "x" at the end of a text. As in counting how many there were or the lack thereof. Overanalytic = irritating.

Agree with this to a certain extent.

My four main rules apply:

1. Ignore any rules anyone ever tells you relating to this and use your own common sense.
2. Don't drunk text.
3. Don't send two texts in a row.
4. Go mental and actually call them. It's what grown ups do apprentely.

Dragan

Climate Expert wrote: »

Yeah, because I know how to play them. That and the fact that I'm awesome.

OP if you want advice take it from somebody who is working the field rather than somebody who struggles to pull on Second Life.

Alternately ignore those who wax "awesome" on the interwebz.

OP, text them when you want to, it's normally the best way to do thing.

RedXIV

I'd generally text on the night to

a) check they got home ok and

b) make sure i didn't get a fake number.

After that, play it by ear. I'm more likely to text coz i'm bored than trying to work with a plan

BubbleWrap85

I have been in this situation a few times, and if I had his number I would text the next morning when I wake up. Sometimes they've given me a call that night but I've usually waited to see if they text next day just to see whether it was a drunken thing or not. I'd say next day. Otherwise she'll presume you're not interested, I would anyway Go for it, good luck!

PS I kissed a boy at the w/end and he text me the day after so I'd say go for it!

SarahSassy

Climate Expert wrote: »

About 200-250 which is a fair sample size.

So obviously whatever you have been doing todate is not working cos out of 200-250 women you havent been able to hang on to one???

Talliesin

Unreg-curious wrote: »

Hey Everyone,
Just wondering what everyones opinion is on this?
When you meet a girl out in a club or whatever, how long to wait before you text or call her?

I'm currently reading Nassim Nicholas Taleb.

He writes about quite a few matters relating to the effect of random (or effectively random - where we can't see all the factors at the time) events on various situations though his biggest focus is the financial markets.

And in so doing her explains why a lot of traders seem to be absolute geniuses for a few years making tens of millions and then suddenly explode losing hundreds of millions.

Reading it I couldn't help but think of these threads.

The sort of traders he describes as fools (he isn't saying all traders are fools - he's a trader himself) convince themselves that the basic approach they are taking is correct and the fact that many people crash and burn quickly is just that they aren't as good at it.

This is extremely close to the way some people (who, similarly, I describe as fools) are convinced that the basic approach of playing a stupid numbers game with when and how often you contact people after a date is a correct basic approach, and the fact that it works so badly for so many people is a lack of skill - you just need to work out what the right magic numbers are.

In both cases there are "lucky fools". They have enough success or appearance of success (rather arbitrary to judge in the case of dating, two people with much the same story to tell would judge themselves differently depending on what they took as signs of success) to make it look like the basic approach in each case has some sort of actual value.

But it doesn't. Success is not actually related to what they are basing their approach on. The trader "lucky fool" runs a risk because they are over-exposed to freak market changes. The texter "lucky fool" runs a risk because eventually the person they are trying to charm may realise they are playing to rules and copying the sort of rules-based approach to social interaction that severe autistics are taught to use isn't very attractive.

And that's just the lucky ones, not the many who hit the crash-and-burn point too soon to fool themselves into deluded self-efficacy.

So. As per usual I recommend texting them when you feel like it. For bonus points if you examine your phone carefully you will find that it has an earpiece and mouthpiece which can be used to let you have a conversation with them.