HELP! Fear is taking away my freedom...

natsuko

Driving, i know its weird but i had reoccurring nightmares when i was a kid, and the odd one stil to this day... when i was a kid it was being a passenger in a car and the driver(usualy a relative) passing out, losing control and id have to reach over and grab the wheel. It was an overwhelming feelin that i couldnt control the car and when id wake up id be sweating and my heart pounding.

I also have a fear of drowning(cant swim) and recently the two have combined and it has manifested into losing control of the car and plunging into water, or not even driving the car and water rising and being stuck in the car. I cry and have mild panic attacks anytime im near water in a car where there are no barriers e.g. on piers/near lakes/rivers... over short bridges im ok.

I had my first experience driving a car last year, i started perfectly drove 20ft, stopped... and started crying my eyes out. I couldnt believe how easy it was to propel something so heavy and powerful, a thing that hundreds of people die in every year.... im confused as to whether this is an irrational fear or not because of this fact.

even driving in a car with anyone other than my mother(shes a slow[not too slow] careful driver] freaks me out!!! I tense up on the narrow country roads, especially on bends when there isnt much room on the road, and not being able to see if there is anything coming towards you.

I have a kid and would love to be able to drive to have a bit of freedom, go shopping with him, visit relatives etc when i want to, but im finding it very hard to get over this fear. I am considering seeking professional help but would love to hear your thoughts on how i might start to overcome this on my own first...

Beruthiel

natsuko wrote: »

I am considering seeking professional help

Stop considering and just go do it. You need to get your life back on track. This is your first step.

MJOR

Sometimes I get afraid of what might happen too.... The problem with that is that it stops you in your tracks.

You have carried and cared for this beautiful baby.... You did it and i am sure during it there were plenty of what ifs....

I think you may have some mild anixety.... Maybe writing a list of all the tasks you complete on a daily basis and that go right or wrong might help. You will soon see that the good outweighs the bad......

It might be worth your while talking to a doctor two he may give you some good exercises(mentals ones) to do.

Wurly

If you wan't to gear yourself up before speaking to a professional, try the following book:

Free yourself from fear- Lucy Atcheson. It's really good and will give you a good indication as to what to expect when you do get help. Good luck.x

natsuko

thanks! will check that book out.

Susannahmia

Op I don't really have much advice but just to let you know you are not the only one don't worry.:) My case isnt as severe as yours but I was left a car over a year ago and despite loads and loads of lessons I am too afraid to drive alone or a lot of the time even with someone who isn't the instructor!

I tend to really panic and make stupid mistakes, stuff I know well not to do. At this stage I just associate driving with extreme stress so I try to avoid it. I'm actually very embarrassed about it at this point, its getting ridiculous and a perfectly good car is going to waste.

In your case it is obvious that the anxiety is quite severe. I think that speaking to someone might help, maybe a docter or a counselor.

davyjose

Beruthiel wrote: »

Stop considering and just go do it. You need to get your life back on track. This is your first step.

This is the only advice you need right now IMO. You can listen to tips and techniques for dealing with stuff now, but this is too big to put to chance. Get to a professional now, and start enjoying life, not fearing it.

indigoangel

natsuko, you may be surprised to learn that your reoccuring dream about a car/vehicle going out of control is a common one. i know i've had many of them myself also. it is said that it is an anxiety dream, one that reflects your inner desire to control aspects of your life that you feel are out of control. to combat nightmares you could try reading up on eating to control your blood sugars, like eating a banana or some brown bread toast with peanut butter before you sleep, or keep a banana by your bed to eat if you wake in the night with your heart pounding. this may not be the answer for you, but it's worth trying the idea is to keep your blood sugar from plummeting during the night, its the body's release of adrenalin after a blood sugar drop that can often lead to panic attacks with symptoms like sweats, heart palpitations or difficulty breathing. if you then associate these symptoms with getting into cars/water then it can trigger the same effects when you climb into cars in real life - does that make sense?

my sister had a similar problem to this recently, she started having panic attacks in the car with her boyfriend, because he was a very fast driver and they had several near accidents so she started freaking out when she got into the car with him. she went for a session or two of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) which helped her to view the situation in a different light and regain her sense of inner strength and lessen the fear, and now she's grand. i suggest you give the NLP a try if you like.

i also strongly suggest that you go see a counselor/psychotherapist to deal with the worry and panic. it really helps to talk and they can help you to strengthen the rational side to your personality and so help you to combat irrational fear and worry. go talk to your doctor about it, they can give you details of who to call or where to go. stop delaying it and give yourself what you need to regain your strength, if you had a physical problem you'd go see your doctor straight away, you should do the same with your mental health, it's incredibly important to. facing your fear is difficult, but you deserve better so give it to yourself!

fuzzywiggle

Yeah definitely go speak to someone who can help you over come these fears. I'm sure it can be easily rectifed. A life lived in fear is a life half lived.