He likes me/he likes me not

LegacyUser

Lads please your honest opinion
I met this lad on Friday at a nightclub, and we got talking during the conversation his mates budged in and he excused himself, they were chatting for a few minutes and I couldn’t wait so I fecked all and left(besides I had my mates too).
I didn’t see him again and at the end of the night while with my mates he came to where we were tbh it was difficult finding me because we were in a secluded section and this club is massive. Anyways we get talking again outside and then kissing and all, exchange numbers and I get into a taxi on getting home he texted me and I replied that I kind of regret not taking him home. Am not a one night girl and I have never had a one night stand.
He texts me on Saturday saying his mate’s birthday so he was off with the lads and would call/text me later. He rang me about 2:30am and left a voice message, I hate listening to voice messages so I rang him when I saw the missed call. His battery was dead (I tried 4 times) before I decided to listen to the voice mail with him explaining his phone was out. I then proceed to leave a voice mail on his phone and he rings me back with a mate’s phone, he then picks me up in a cab and we go back to mine. We fooled around but we didn’t have intercourse on Saturday (we did on Sunday afternoon), on Sunday my mate was going to come over but because he was there she didn’t come over. We spend the day together; watching movies, eating, talking and sex. He left around 8pm and I haven’t heard from him since. IMO, you don’t spend the night and day with a girl you don’t fancy????
I texted him yesterday saying, good to know you got home okay and thanks for checking up on me with a smiley and he still has not replied/texted/rang me
I am not one to think silly and I hate time wasting but I really am at lost here and it’s starting to bug me, I am normally nonchalant when it comes to men, I don’t give much or expect much but he spent the whole day with me. If he didn’t like me why didn’t he leave early or feck off early?
Btw somewhere while talking about ourselves I found out that he knows my ex(same college) and he would have kissed a mate of mine.
Some friends say I should ring him, some text others just ignore him
What should I do?

Gross Halfwit

Ehm ... sounds like you got used. Sorry.

Stop texting/ringing him.

As I see it .....

He fecked off with his mates in the club & only came back for you at the end of the night ... for a score.

He went out to his mate's birthday & only called you at 2.30am ... for a ride.

He spent all day with you cos he probably didnt have anything better to do ... and he was having sex.

Now in saying that. I'm sure he finds you physically attractive ... hence all the sex but if he isn't making any effort to get in contact with you then he ain't looking for anything, IMO.

Now, he could be out of credit/busy/dead etc. but I'm only going on what I've read.

He will text you ... more than likely next time He's out drinking.

Didn't wanna burst your bubble & I may be wrong but then again I may be right.

Why is all this happening you may ask?

Comes down to two things ... you basically offered it to him on a plate & in doing so lost the "power". So he thinks he can walk all over you ...

And secondly ... he's a dickhead.

Sorry ... I hope I'm wrong.

Gina Brel

Hi ,
would agree with G.H.
PLEASE PLEASE do not contact him.You will feel much better in the long run,put it down to a learning experience.Hope I'm wrong.Try to put him out of your head if possible.

LegacyUser

Right thanks for that...

Am a no nonsense girl and it irritates me that he did this, he is a nice fella and i swear i would love to date him etc but i have to face fact and that he's just not into me!

I have since deleted his number and all his texts

Any other replies would be appreciated!

Silverfish

Ah, but was he a nice fella, or was he pretending to be a nice fella so you'd do exactly what you did?

LegacyUser

Right i may not be experienced in relationships but when having sex he suggested i get on the pill and i told him i only get on the pill when in a relationship and he said then i suggest you get on the pill!

Am not looking for love, but i am very disgusted that he's acted this way. I feel used and toyed with

Gross Halfwit

Some blokes can turn on the charm when it suits them ...

I wouldn't take this as a slight on you & your attractiveness. He could just be a womanizer/dick you know? And wanting him won't make him want you so forget it. Would you really want him in anyway after all this?

You have done the right thing by deleting his number & his texts.

Step two would be summoning up the resolve to ignore him when he does text/call in the wee small hours of the morning looking for "it."

Good luck.

estar

this has happend to me in the past
before and happens to my friends.

not even down to the se% part - you go on a great date, they
try and persuade you to go home with them etc etc things
happen or dont happen
they are all about you and it seems its all going swimmingly
and then BANG they get hit by that mysterious bus.

can i just say guys / girls- have the manners if you do spend time with
a girl / guy to reply to a flaming text with a phone call saying
listen - sorry not into a relationship right now, enjoyed
hanging out, and your a nice person or along those lines.

i am sick of hearing my friends telling me such stories
of guys/ girls with no manners

we arent going to die if you hang out with us and
then dont ask for a second date, its just annoying
for someone not to have the manners to not disappear
off the planet after being intimate with someone - asking
them on a date etc. or else breaking up with someone
after a few dates with a text.

again not appropriate!!!!!

i am no longer in the dating game - but when i was
i tried to avoid getting intimate with someone until
i had a good feeling whether or not they would
reply to a text, or be consistent, as i knew myself
that i would be hurt if i let someone get close
and then they did the above. some people wouldnt
mind and thats their business. but if you know that the whole
one night stand scene doesnt do it for you, make them
get to know you over at least some weeks / months
just so you know that if it doesnt work out
they will treat you with respect.

chalk this one up to experience, and sorry if you got hurt!

estar

i would never answer the phone from a guy i barely
knew at 2.30am in the morning again.

that is definite booty call territory.

sorry!!!!! but it sends him the message that
you are low maintenance and are at his beck and call.

when i don't think that was the impression
you wanted to make.

anyway thats just my opinion.

LegacyUser

Ah well, thanks for all the replies!

Considering he texted me during the day...

My self confidence is seriously deteriorating

Sephiroth_dude

sounds like he used you to get one thing and one thing only.......sex!! just put it down to experience and forget about it,I hate **** like that :mad:

Gross Halfwit

My self confidence is seriously deteriorating

Your self confidence shouldn't be deteriorating! He's the ass here, not you. Some blokes just know the right things to say & the right buttons to push. You wanted to believe he was amazing & you did. It's not your fault. It's just a culmination of circumstances that resulted in a slimy bastard getting his wicked way.

Don't take it as a knock on who you are or anything. He's a predator & you just happened to be his prey. If it wasn't you then it would have been someone else. You dig?

PonyP

This guy sounds horrible and I feel very sorry for you as you sound like a really nice person who doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I am glad you have deleted his texts and phone number and I hope that this guy is treated badly by somebody he likes in the near future.:mad:

Hennybug

Sorry but i have to agree with the others here. He took your number, texted you and your reply was you were sorry you didn't take him home. He took that to mean he was quids in and took advantage. Don't take it personally, some men are just dickheads but there are decent guys out there. Next time don't reply to a text/message in the middle of the night - make him put it a decent effort

AngryBadger

OP I have to be blunt, and I'm sorry for any upset this causes. I feel you exercised very poor judgement in this situation. You tell us that you don't do one-night stands, are very offhand with men in general, and you only use the pill when you're in a relationship.

And yet you brought a guy you barely knew 24 hours back to your place and spent a day (or a significant part of it) having sex with him.

Personally I'm all for that, but you're clearly not. I don't know why you felt the need to get that intimate with this guy you barely knew, no matter how nice he was. If there was a genuine attraction then there shouldn't really have been any pressure/need to immediately start having sex.

I'm not being overly negative about what happened, to be honest (aside from you bringing a complete stranger to your house at 2:30am knowing he'd bveen on the piss all night) I don't see the problem, your both consenting adults (I assume), so there's no problem with a day of mutually satisfying sex, except that for some reason you thought there would be a relationship afterward.

I just think you're maybe not quite as "nonchalant" as you think with the ole menfolk, and in future this is not the kind of decision you want to be making

LegacyUser

AngryBadger wrote: »

OP I have to be blunt, and I'm sorry for any upset this causes. I feel you exercised very poor judgement in this situation. You tell us that you don't do one-night stands, are very offhand with men in general, and you only use the pill when you're in a relationship.

And yet you brought a guy you barely knew 24 hours back to your place and spent a day (or a significant part of it) having sex with him.

Personally I'm all for that, but you're clearly not. I don't know why you felt the need to get that intimate with this guy you barely knew, no matter how nice he was. If there was a genuine attraction then there shouldn't really have been any pressure/need to immediately start having sex.

I'm not being overly negative about what happened, to be honest (aside from you bringing a complete stranger to your house at 2:30am knowing he'd bveen on the piss all night) I don't see the problem, your both consenting adults (I assume), so there's no problem with a day of mutually satisfying sex, except that for some reason you thought there would be a relationship afterward.

I just think you're maybe not quite as "nonchalant" as you think with the ole menfolk, and in future this is not the kind of decision you want to be making

I didn't think I was going to sleep with him, I know it sounds dumb but you can take a fella him without sleeping with them!
There was no pressure or need to have sex, we were having a nice day and I like (d) him and I thought the feeling was mutual so it was consensus. If I knew he wouldn't text/ring me the next day I sure as hell wouldn't have.
And after this I would be more cautious...
As they say experience is the best teacher!

Someway I want to tell him a piece of my mind!

Wurly

Something similar happened to me only recently.

I am in college with the guy so I didn't think he'd use me so blatantly when he has to see me for the next year.

He led me on for a few months. I kept my pants on. When they came off, he told me he never fancied me in the first place and slept with me cos 'that's what people do'.

He's a tit and as far as i'm concerned, i'm well rid.

Yes OP, it hurts at the time and you feel so bloody angry. But someone who thinks its acceptable to treat you so appalingly is not worth piddling on, quite frankly.

Chin up.x

Faith

It happens to the best of us, OP. I met a guy out recently and we chatted for ages, he walked me home, we kissed and I didn't invite him in. But he took my number, texted me almost immediately after leaving me, continued to text for a few days, arranged a date and ... stood me up. No explanation, nothing.

Did you have fun, at least? Chalk it up to experience, like the others have said. It might make you more cautious about who you bring home. Don't let it get you down though, the guy sounds like a prick. Just look on it as some fun, who wouldn't like a whole day of sex?

That being said, guys can be crap at texting. Often if there's no question in your text, they don't bother replying. He could well ring/text you in a couple of days. Don't make the move yourself though. If he never contacts you, you know he's an ass. If he does, yay!

estar

what a sad excuse for a person.

you should have stapled his testicle to his leg
and said

oh sorry i heard thats what people do.

joking, joking, joking. people should never be violent.

how lame. there are a lot of lame-os wandering the earth
in the guise of normal people. normal normal normal,
suddenly, they are revealed in all their lameness. and you
wonder how you missed it in the first place. that guy
sounds like he doesnt like women. no man who liked and
respected women would say that - if he didnt want to see
you there are nicer ways of putting it rather than
i never fancied you . he must have been hurt before and is acting
it out on people. or maybe hes just a mighty a**hole.

we have all met them. i have to say though, it may be unjust
but if you hop into bed with them even the most seemingly
enlightened of men seem to think -oh mammy told me
girls that hopped into bed like that were sluts. id better
not ring her ever again as id say shes easy.

warped.

they never stop to think that it makes them a slut too.

its unfair but it seems to be the way of it in the majority of cases
i hear about anecdotely.

anyway im sure it doesnt apply to all men........before every
man on boards protest. it does apply to some of ye though.

theres no denying it.

Wurly

Faith wrote: »

That being said, guys can be crap at texting. Often if there's no question in your text, they don't bother replying. He could well ring/text you in a couple of days.

Nah, me arse (no offence). If a guy is into you, he makes contact regardless.

Especially after them sleeping together. If he was really into her, he wouldn't wait so long to make contact, ya know?

Cmol

OP - Dont feel bad, weve all been there done that!!!! Its easy to be too trusting and they seem to be able to say exactly what we want to hear! (Yiz bastards!! :P)

Sounds like you have the right idea though, deleting the number etc, just try not to fall back into the same trap if he contacts you again.... just remember - you deserve better!!!!

LegacyUser

Faith wrote: »

It happens to the best of us, OP. I met a guy out recently and we chatted for ages, he walked me home, we kissed and I didn't invite him in. But he took my number, texted me almost immediately after leaving me, continued to text for a few days, arranged a date and ... stood me up. No explanation, nothing.

Did you have fun, at least? Chalk it up to experience, like the others have said. It might make you more cautious about who you bring home. Don't let it get you down though, the guy sounds like a prick. Just look on it as some fun, who wouldn't like a whole day of sex?

That being said, guys can be crap at texting. Often if there's no question in your text, they don't bother replying. He could well ring/text you in a couple of days. Don't make the move yourself though. If he never contacts you, you know he's an ass. If he does, yay!

I did enjoy the sex I have to say... Considering i hadn't had sex in 14weeks (SAD!) but that wasn't it, we just were very comfortable together...
I wasn't pressured, he made breakfast and I made lunch/dinner
We watched a movie, he cuddled me while holding my laptop, I slept off while watching the movie and woke up in his arms.

Am not one to dream and think fairy tales but he's one smooth operator! Jeez boy is he smooth at my expense though

Gross Halfwit

Stop admiring the fecker!

Jesus christ ....

Chinafoot

ConfusedGirl wrote: »

I did enjoy the sex I have to say... Considering i hadn't had sex in 14weeks (SAD!) but that wasn't it, we just were very comfortable together...
I wasn't pressured, he made breakfast and I made lunch/dinner
We watched a movie, he cuddled me while holding my laptop, I slept off while watching the movie and woke up in his arms.

Am not one to dream and think fairy tales but he's one smooth operator! Jeez boy is he smooth at my expense though

Have to agree with Gross Halfwit here, stop thinking like that. You really sound like you're hanging on to the hope that something will still come of this.

You were used for sex, he's not interested and you should thank your lucky stars you found out as quickly as you did.

LegacyUser

Gross Halfwit wrote: »

Stop admiring the fecker!

Jesus christ ....

Thanks... i needed that!

MIN2511

Faith wrote: »

It happens to the best of us, OP. I met a guy out recently and we chatted for ages, he walked me home, we kissed and I didn't invite him in. But he took my number, texted me almost immediately after leaving me, continued to text for a few days, arranged a date and ... stood me up. No explanation, nothing.

Did you have fun, at least? Chalk it up to experience, like the others have said. It might make you more cautious about who you bring home. Don't let it get you down though, the guy sounds like a prick. Just look on it as some fun, who wouldn't like a whole day of sex?

That being said, guys can be crap at texting. Often if there's no question in your text, they don't bother replying. He could well ring/text you in a couple of days. Don't make the move yourself though. If he never contacts you, you know he's an ass. If he does, yay!

Sometimes people forget to text...

OP if he hasn't texed by now he's just not that into you!
Sorry

LadyE

Confused girl...I would chalk this down as experience! Deffo dont call and him or ring him..and stop wasting your time/emotions thinking about him..he's totally not worth it!

Hold your head up high, you sound like a really nice girl and deserve better!

You definatly learn by your mistakes by these things!!!

Think we have all been there!

Wurly

MIN2511 wrote: »

Sometimes people forget to text...

Not if they like you, they don't.

Funny, that guy from college forgot to text a lot.....

MIN2511

Tri wrote: »

Not if they like you, they don't.

true:)

A friend told me today that guys have a 3/5 days rules game. My rule is to text the fella after the night out

Why does the guy have to text first? OP, pick up the phone and ring him! If he doesn't pick, leave a vm and if he doesn't reply you then move on...

Everyone says the OP should forget him, but she should pick her phone. The last i read they are both adults?

Silverfish

MIN2511 wrote: »

true:)

A friend told me today that guys have a 3/5 days rules game. My rule is to text the fella after the night out

Why does the guy have to text first? OP, pick up the phone and ring him! If he doesn't pick, leave a vm and if he doesn't reply you then move on...

Everyone says the OP should forget him, but she should pick her phone. The last i read they are both adults?

She did text him, he never replied.

LegacyUser

Silverfish wrote: »

She did text him, he never replied.

I texted him yesterday saying

Hey!
Glad to know you got home okay and thanks for checking up on me.
-:)

Karen_*

ConfusedGirl wrote: »

Right i may not be experienced in relationships but when having sex he suggested i get on the pill and i told him i only get on the pill when in a relationship and he said then i suggest you get on the pill!

Am not looking for love, but i am very disgusted that he's acted this way. I feel used and toyed with

Well you have been used and toyed with. Delete his number and don't contact him again. You really liked him and he got your hopes up about a relationship and as you say its out of charachter for you to do a one nighter. You obviously really liked him. Its his loss OP, yes you feel like ****e but don't. Hold your head up. All you've missed out on is the chance to spend even more time with a total arse.

Karen_*

ConfusedGirl wrote: »

I did enjoy the sex I have to say... Considering i hadn't had sex in 14weeks (SAD!) but that wasn't it, we just were very comfortable together...
I wasn't pressured, he made breakfast and I made lunch/dinner
We watched a movie, he cuddled me while holding my laptop, I slept off while watching the movie and woke up in his arms.

Am not one to dream and think fairy tales but he's one smooth operator! Jeez boy is he smooth at my expense though

OP not having sex for 14 weeks when you're not in a relationship isn't sad. Not having sex at all when you're not in a relationship however long that may be isn't sad! Having sex with a stranger just because you haven't had it for 14 weeks IS sad.

Wurly

Karen_* wrote: »

OP not having sex for 14 weeks when you're not in a relationship isn't sad. Not having sex at all when you're not in a relationship however long that may be isn't sad! Having sex with a stranger just because you haven't had it for 14 weeks IS sad.

+1;)

LegacyUser

Karen_* wrote: »

OP not having sex for 14 weeks when you're not in a relationship isn't sad. Not having sex at all when you're not in a relationship however long that may be isn't sad! Having sex with a stranger just because you haven't had it for 14 weeks IS sad.

I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I had sex with him because i WANTED to

Occidental

MIN2511 wrote: »

true:)

A friend told me today that guys have a 3/5 days rules game. My rule is to text the fella after the night out

Your friend is wrong. The rule is there are no rules. We all make it up as we go along and if you try to apply rules to someone, chances are they'll be the exception.

hussey

If you read the many many posts on this forum you will find this behavior happens with or without Sex.
If you didn't put out he might not have been interested the next day.
So don't put yourself down because he didn't call after having sex.
You'll find out if he rings you near the weekend with a "hey baby"

MagicMarker

If i meet someone/go on a date with someone and i think i like them and would like a relationship, then chances are i would hold off on sex, not long or anything, but not within a few days ffs! I have actually refused when asked in by a girl at the end of the night as a result of this. It wasn't preplanned, it's just the way it happened.

If i don't think there's anything there relationship wise but there might be a chance of some sex, then i'd go for it. Because it's meaningless, it's just sex.

Now, this isn't set in stone for me but it's just how it's happened so far.

OP: If you like a guy, then don't be opening your legs within the first 24 hours, ESPECIALLY when you've met in a nightclub type environment. How you thought it would get serious is beyond me!! You gave him exactly what he was looking for.

As for spending the whole day with you, believe it or not, us men like affection and being close to someone too.

I would expect him to text some night this week at 2.30am, looking for his hole!

Wibbs

I have to agree with MagicMarker and others around here. The double standard is alive and well and no matter what people say or rant against it, I suspect it;s here to stay for quite a while yet. I think it's worse the younger you are too.

Chalk it up to experience and avoid him. It sounds like what it is. A night of passion that he reckons he can repeat as easily nest time without the effort of a relationship.

If I ever had kids and they came to me for advice about this stuff in their teens, I would say that; if you're a guy, don't give too much emotional support to a woman you're really interested in, unless it's going somewhere as boyfriend and girlfriend(or you don't fancy her). I would say to a woman, don't give too much sexually to a guy you're really interested in, unless it's going somewhere as boyfriend and girlfriend(unless all you want is some one off action). Basically establish what relationship if any, is likely to happen and if that's what you want, before you invest too many emotions in it.

Not hard and fast rules of course. It doesn't take friendship into account, or indeed those times when you just want a sexual itch scratched, but it's in the area of being not far wrong.

Faith

Tri wrote: »

Nah, me arse (no offence). If a guy is into you, he makes contact regardless.

Especially after them sleeping together. If he was really into her, he wouldn't wait so long to make contact, ya know?

Yeah, you're right tbh.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

I have to agree with MagicMarker and others around here. The double standard is alive and well and no matter what people say or rant against it, I suspect it;s here to stay for quite a while yet. I think it's worse the younger you are too.

Chalk it up to experience and avoid him. It sounds like what it is. A night of passion that he reckons he can repeat as easily nest time without the effort of a relationship.

If I ever had kids and they came to me for advice about this stuff in their teens, I would say that; if you're a guy, don't give too much emotional support to a woman you're really interested in, unless it's going somewhere as boyfriend and girlfriend(or you don't fancy her). I would say to a woman, don't give too much sexually to a guy you're really interested in, unless it's going somewhere as boyfriend and girlfriend(unless all you want is some one off action). Basically establish what relationship if any, is likely to happen and if that's what you want, before you invest too many emotions in it.

Not hard and fast rules of course. It doesn't take friendship into account, or indeed those times when you just want a sexual itch scratched, but it's in the area of being not far wrong.

Thanks Wibbs, MagicMarker & everyone for your advice

My conclusion; i was stupid for expecting more he would be a fool to contact me again!

And if he does, i might play a trick or two on him

Gross Halfwit

ConfusedGirl wrote: »

I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I had sex with him because i WANTED to

No, you had sex with him because HE wanted to.

You had sex with him becasue you wanted to believe it was the beginning of a relationship.

And don't bother playing tricks on him. There's over 6 billion people in the world you ain't destined to get along with them all ... forget about him & revenge & all that jazz.

Sometimes you eat the bear & sometimes the bear eats you.

Live & learn & try not to be on the menu anymore.

Skiddoosh!