friend who is a call girl? Advice?

Lou.m

Hi all,

Ok i have beens friends with this other for about a year and a half. She is an actress also (obviouly not famous or anything just struggling like me) about one year ago she started to work as a call girl.

She told me this about six months ago. I was surprised but not shocked i knew something was going on i just was not sure what. She was busy every second weekend but not just busy i mean missing you could never contact her. And she seemed suddenly to have money with no explanation as to how.

Now she is an extremely nice person a really sweet girl ( i know we have ideas about prostitution and everything but really she is a good person). Now she was never on the breadline or anything but money was always very tight and she got into it. She works alone sometimes arranging her own clients and sometimes takes clients from an agency aswell.

Now my first problem with this is it is so potentially dangerous for her for obvious reasons. Not only is she endangering her life but her freedom they have a tendency to throw the book at prostitutes in this country. But obviously the main problem is potential the potential danger when she takes clients from the agency at least someone knows where she is exactly and with who. But when she is on her own anything could happen i have asked her to give me a text when she is working just to let me know she is ok. ANd she does.

I have talked to her about quitting but she talks her way out of it. I have asked her about the men she says they are mostly older men who can afford it and who are out of the dating scene. She says they are usually quite quiet and polite. I dont know whether she is telling the truth or just trying to put me at ease.

I worry terribly for her i know there is really nothing i can do.

Am i being a prude?

What can i do if anything ? I worry so much.

Another thing to consider is she is getting used to the money what will she do when she has to stop ? What if the acting does not work out( and chances are it will not ) what if the acting does work out will this past come back to haunt her? What if people find out? What do you put on your c.v if you have been a call girl? What if she gets arrested?How will this affect her personal life? And of course what if she gets hurt or worse my main worry?

She tends to talk her way out of all these questions.

Any thoughts or advice what do people think of this?

Am i a prude?

MagicMarker

I think you should mind your own business.

tbh

it's natural to be worried, but there's really nothing you can do except tell her you think it's a bad idea, and let her know that if she needs you, you'll be there for her.

Talliesin

Firstly, I get the impression she's a call girl working with an agency. Prostitution isn't illegal for over-18s in Ireland, though various activities around it are (soliciting - for both prostitute and client - child prostitution, trafficking, and advertising in Irish publications [agencies like Escort Ireland operate via websites hosted in foreign jurisdictions]). If she's working with an agency or repeat clients then she's not at risk from the law.

There is still other risks and other hurts, but there isn't much you can do about someone who is doing something legal that you don't think is a good idea.

I think getting her to keep in touch when she's working, as you say she does, is about the only thing you can do (I assume she also texts when she's finished or has agreed to extend a meeting, so you would know something was amiss if she didn't).

Miss Fluff

If she is adamant about doing it, try and get her to stick with escort agency work, at least she will hopefully be that bit safer. There is nothing you can do to change her mind, just encourage her to practice safe sex and to try and keep safe.

Lou.m

Thank you Talliesin I am much relieved to be clear about the legal situation thank you:-)

I have no moral objection to it at all really, the only thing really that concerns me is the safety issue.

If maybe she was working with some sort of minder or something or within a brothel i think it might be safer.

But it is just all centered around hotels.

I mean i have met another girl who does it too (through my friend) and i asked her about it and she said that she had never once had a safety issue and she had been doing it for three years. So i think that has made me less anxious about it.

I just fear she is easy prey.:(

Lou.m

Thanks Miss fluff yes i know she is for definite i know she would not do anything stupid:-)

dotsman

If she's happy and nobody is forcing her to do it, then I don't see a problem. It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but the same could be said about many other professions...

As regards the legality, it's very rare that you hear about prostitutes being prosecuted. As Talliesin said, it's more technicalities regarding it are illegal. From the little knowledge I have of it (ie the media) I think generally the guards ignore it unless there are specific complaints (ie neighbours complaining about a brothel on their street etc), or is tied up with other crime (ie drugs/trafficking etc).

Talliesin

Lou.m wrote: »

within a brothel i think it might be safer.

Oh, that's illegal too, I'm afraid.

Nevyn

Call outs to hotels are pretty safe due to the fact there is a personal or work credit card assocated to the hotel room and the person can be traced back that way if anything were to go awry.

I hope she knows the sti and hepatitis risks she is taking and takes as many precautions as she can.

chuci

if no one is forcing her and she is happy with her choice then i really dont think there is anything you can do. just let her know that you are there is you need her.you sound like a good friend so just keep being a good friend. You said she sometimes arranges these meetings herself just try to get her to keep to agencies so at least someone will know where she is and who she is with.

Irishcrx

Are you sure she's just a friend, reading over that a second time I'd say you have feelings for her and that's where the main problem lies..

JuliusCaesar

I would suggest you ask her about how she will feel about it in the future, when she's in a relationship, when she has kids - how would she feel about having this secret in the past?

AngryBadger

Agree with everyone saying it's her choice and so forth, and also there's really nothing you can do but stay in contact so that you're there in the event that something does go awry.

But you don't really have any control in this scenario, and you run the risk of alienating her if you keep pushing the issue.

Wurly

Irishcrx wrote: »

Are you sure she's just a friend, reading over that a second time I'd say you have feelings for her and that's where the main problem lies..

May I ask how you came to that conclusion?? That thought never once crossed my mind tbh.

Karen_*

Irishcrx wrote: »

Are you sure she's just a friend, reading over that a second time I'd say you have feelings for her and that's where the main problem lies..

Where on earth did you get that from?

OP its lovely that your friend has someone to care about her. I had a friend working as an escort. Obviously noone ever looks back and is proud of doing it and it causes problems but they are not your problem. You can't tell people what to do sometimes or even adivse. They have to learn from experience.


As regards her CV, she can say she was abroad. As regards safety, well she probably knows the regular clients she has and clients give away alot about themselves so they've more to lose than she does. Keep looking out for her and being supportive, that all you can do really.