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Paternity Testing without Mother's knowledge?

  • 22-06-2008 12:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Is there any way of getting a paterntity test done without the mother knowing?


Comments

  • #2
    Carrigart Exile
    Closed Accounts Posts: 994 ✭✭✭Carrigart Exile


    Anyway? wrote: »
    Is there any way of getting a paterntity test done without the mother knowing?

    I don't know about Ireland but it is not allowed in the UK. A couple of companies were about to launch a home test DNA kit, the Govt rused through legislation banning them. The conservative estimate is that 1 in 10 men are bringing up children which they believe are their own but the reality is different.


  • #3
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    A friend of mine took a swab from "his" kids mouth when on the beach one day and sent it off to a company in the UK. Got the results back in a couple of weeks and needless to say the little guy wasn't his. Not sure if you can still do this but worth googling I'm sure.


  • #4
    yawnstretch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 861 ✭✭✭yawnstretch


    Why was it banned in the UK? Men have zero protection under the law when it comes to kids.


  • #5
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    If a guy is not married to the mother of 'his' kid and he is not a legal guardian he can not legally consent to have any tests carried out in regards to the child.


  • #6
    Carrigart Exile
    Closed Accounts Posts: 994 ✭✭✭Carrigart Exile


    yawnstretch wrote: »
    Why was it banned in the UK? Men have zero protection under the law when it comes to kids.

    considered divisive to the family unit, or some garbage like that


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  • #7
    uberwolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,581 ✭✭✭uberwolf


    Carrigart Exile wrote: »
    considered divisive to the family unit, or some garbage like that

    unlike the mother riding outside the marriage!

    OP you must have a difficult situation on your hands by the sounds of it.


  • #8
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    I'm sure you'd be able to find something on the internet OP. You should go ahead with it if you have any doubts. You've a right to know whether the child you're raising is yours or not.


  • #9
    doctor evil
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,114 ✭✭✭doctor evil


    DNA means nothing OP

    If you do it behind your partners back and the kid is yours then well and good but if its not what do you do? Get into a fight with the mother? Thread carefully and be mindful thats its the child that gets hurt in these things.


  • #10
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    seahorse wrote: »
    I'm sure you'd be able to find something on the internet OP. You should go ahead with it if you have any doubts. You've a right to know whether the child you're raising is yours or not.

    Or it could be a situation where he thinks the child could be his and the mother is saying it's not. Wouldn't be the first time this has happened.
    doctor evil wrote: »
    DNA means nothing OP

    If you do it behind your partners back and the kid is yours then well and good but if its not what do you do? Get into a fight with the mother? Thread carefully and be mindful thats its the child that gets hurt in these things.

    +1, the child's welfare has to come first. Any issues you have with the mother are secondary.


  • #11
    EamonnKeane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 950 ✭✭✭EamonnKeane


    doctor evil wrote: »
    DNA means nothing OP

    If you do it behind your partners back and the kid is yours then well and good but if its not what do you do? Get into a fight with the mother? Thread carefully and be mindful thats its the child that gets hurt in these things.
    DNA means an awful lot: that's why people care for their family more than others?

    And "its the child that gets hurt in these things"? If it's another man's child, the hurt is unfortunate and all, but really none of your personal concern.


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  • #12
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    Toots85 wrote: »
    Or it could be a situation where he thinks the child could be his and the mother is saying it's not. Wouldn't be the first time this has happened.

    Yes, could be; it's far from unheard of.


  • #13
    doctor evil
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,114 ✭✭✭doctor evil


    EamonnKeane wrote: »
    DNA means an awful lot: that's why people care for their family more than others?

    And "its the child that gets hurt in these things"? If it's another man's child, the hurt is unfortunate and all, but really none of your personal concern.

    Actually its the maternal/paternal bond that makes folks care for their family, if it was DNA than how would adoption work?


  • #14
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    EamonnKeane wrote: »
    DNA means an awful lot: that's why people care for their family more than others?

    And "its the child that gets hurt in these things"? If it's another man's child, the hurt is unfortunate and all, but really none of your personal concern.

    It might well be another man's child, but we don't know the background here. The child might be 9 or 10, not necessarily an infant. They could have known the OP as their father their whole life, and the OP may have fully beleived that the child is biologically his for that time too. It may have been something that has come to light recently that has led to his doubts, so if he suddenly found out that he is not the child's biological father would it be ok for him to just up and leave? Cut the child off and say 'well it's not my DNA there, so screw it'? Depending on the circumstance, DNA is not the be all and end all.


  • #15
    Reku
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Reku


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    If a guy is not married to the mother of 'his' kid and he is not a legal guardian he can not legally consent to have any tests carried out in regards to the child.

    Does seem a little unfair that an unmarried father can be sued for maintanance yet cannot consent to have a test carried out to verify the child is his, that doesn't even require the child to be aware of it being done (pluck a hair and it should have live cells to extract DNA from).

    To the OP I would say that this is one big can of worms though, be sure that you've fully considered the impact of both possible outcomes before you go ahead with it as once you read the answer you can't unread it.
    Also getting the child and yourself checked won't give any definite answers short of anomoly duplicates, where the child has 2 copies but you don't have at least one copy, the test will probably also need the mother's DNA also so as to see what the child got from her and compare the remainder to your DNA to see if it is possible that you were the other source of material.


  • #16
    maidhc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,722 ✭✭✭maidhc


    farohar wrote: »
    Does seem a little unfair that an unmarried father can be sued for maintanance yet cannot consent to have a test carried out to verify the child is his, that doesn't even require the child to be aware of it being done (pluck a hair and it should have live cells to extract DNA from).

    The father can resist the application for maintenance and put the mother on proof that the child is his. This will have the effect of requiring the mother to DNA test the child.


  • #17
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Anyway? wrote: »
    Is there any way of getting a paterntity test done without the mother knowing?

    From all my research, you need to have permission from the child's mother. I've googled this a lot for a friend, who wanted to know her and her childs rights if her ex ever turned up again demanding to have access to "their" child. He walked out after discovering she was pregnant and accused her of cheating with a load of fellas (not just one). From info I've read: if the father (named on birth cert) has guardianship (not custody) of the child then he might be able to apply thru the courts to have a paternity test done. Citizens information or legal aid board will give you the accurate information you need.

    Best of luck.


  • #18
    Amazotheamazing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭Amazotheamazing


    Legally no, unless you are already a guardian. However, you could get a swab and have it analysed by a private company, google them. You won't be able to rely on the findings, but at least you'll know. Course, if the mother was looking for maintenance, I think you could insist on them to prove you are the parent.


  • #19
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    doctor evil wrote: »
    DNA means nothing OP

    Don't be silly. would be heartbreaking for someone to find out a child isn't their's biologically.


  • #20
    Carrigart Exile
    Closed Accounts Posts: 994 ✭✭✭Carrigart Exile


    Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »
    Don't be silly. would be heartbreaking for someone to find out a child isn't their's biologically.

    absolutely. I can only speak from experience with a friend who on a drunken moment told my wife their daughter is not the biological child of the father (he does not know this). The father absolutely adores his daughter who is now 14 and to find out now would probably kill him.


  • #21
    Elessar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,267 ✭✭✭Elessar


    Yes OP, do it privately (private company). Should be simply enough and no one else has to know. I agree if you have doubts you have a right to know. There are far more cheaters in the world than you might imagine.


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  • #22
    craichoe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,706 ✭✭✭craichoe


    Screw that ! I'd want to know !

    Reasons being ? Medical History, genetic traits are very important when it comes to health

    To the OP, you can at least determine somewhat if the child if yours without a DNA test through blood type:

    http://www.eyeondna.com/2007/06/17/determining-paternity-without-a-dna-test/
    The blood type calculator can be used for determining both paternity and maternity. Say for example the mother’s blood type is O and the alleged daughter’s is B, the father can only have blood type B or AB for the daughter to be related to the father.


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