No Friends, alone.

LegacyUser

hi all just found this site, read a few stories and im similar.

i have a few acquaintances , no real friends, its bugging as hell but lost contact with most of my mates after sec school and college had a few but grew apart.

i find it most depressing as dont have really anyone to go out with and live alone.

i feel real isolated no one to talk to, im a real saddo.

i just go to work and go home ,go to the shops.....thats really it.

it gets me down bigtime when i see others enjoying themselves going out with their mates,
and having fun, as i never have any fun like that , i went out a few times by my self but felt like a total tool, there by meself. i am a bit shy.

lately this has been really annoying me with the good weather and all.


its good to know that im not the only one in this situation. what to do is the big question.

MJOR

pissed off dude wrote: »

hi all just found this site, read a few stories and im similar.

i have a few acquaintances , no real friends, its bugging as hell but lost contact with most of my mates after sec school and college had a few but grew apart.

i find it most depressing as dont have really anyone to go out with and live alone.

i feel real isolated no one to talk to, im a real saddo.

i just go to work and go home ,go to the shops.....thats really it.

it gets me down bigtime when i see others enjoying themselves going out with their mates,
and having fun, as i never have any fun like that , i went out a few times by my self but felt like a total tool, there by meself. i am a bit shy.

lately this has been really annoying me with the good weather and all.


its good to know that im not the only one in this situation. what to do is the big question.

Right... First things first don't feel like a tool. As you get older it gets harder to make friends. That is a fact so don't beat yourself up about it. What I suggest is maybe scoping out the people at work. Are there any of them that might interest you outside of work.

Secondly are there any soccer 5 a side clubs near you?

Thirdly maybe the net might be a good place to meet a few buddies. There are always people out there looking to increase their circle of friends.

Once you meet one you'll meet a lot more.

Let me know how it goes:p

Lazare

hi pod,

Boards is a great place to meet people (on the net and physically) there's beers and meet-ups all the time. So get out there. No ones going to know you exist if you stay home all the time. It's easy to get into a rut - 'Groundhog Day syndrome' I call it, but try and pull yourself out of it.

You are NOT a saddo!

LadyE

Firstly, you are not a saddo.

There are lots of storys in PI abotu the same thing, loose touch with your school mates etc..

what about these acquaintences you have? Can you not get the ball rolling with "what you doing at the weekend" and waggle an invite (if not than ask can you join in)..you have to make some effort to get to know them better and join in their social circle.

If you want to come out tomorrow theres a boards night out, good few people going. Its in D2 from about 5.30 onwards..why dont you come? (Bring condensed milk - i think you'll find a table of condensed milk so your not walking around looking for people you dont know..or get a phoen number, (create an account) and someone will walk out to you!

You'll get out, enjoy yourself etc. and meet loads of people!

Its honestly not as scary as you would think! And it gets the ball rolling!

HouseHippo

I know exactly how you feel man. You are not alone.

I'm only 18 and I only have one person in the whole world. Maybe we should find a way ppl like us can make friends

MJOR

HouseHippo wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel man. You are not alone.

I'm only 18 and I only have one person in the whole world. Maybe we should find a way ppl like us can make friends

Boards is a good way..... and it's kinda good to know you aren't alone.... There is always soemone on here looking for/ giving advice so you ccan make friends here tooooooo!

lukin

pissed off dude wrote: »

hi all just found this site, read a few stories and im similar.

i have a few acquaintances , no real friends, its bugging as hell but lost contact with most of my mates after sec school and college had a few but grew apart.

i find it most depressing as dont have really anyone to go out with and live alone.

i feel real isolated no one to talk to, im a real saddo.

i just go to work and go home ,go to the shops.....thats really it.

it gets me down bigtime when i see others enjoying themselves going out with their mates,
and having fun, as i never have any fun like that , i went out a few times by my self but felt like a total tool, there by meself. i am a bit shy.

lately this has been really annoying me with the good weather and all.


its good to know that im not the only one in this situation. what to do is the big question.

I think that's very true. you aren't the only one. It happens to a lot of people and it's not their fault. I know you'll have people replying here saying stuff like "Life's what you make it" but I'm not so sure if that's true.
As you say, you are shy so that makes it harder. People often mistake shyness for anti-socialism.
People get stuck in the rat race and their jobs take over their lives.
You called yourself a saddo, don't be so hard on yourself, you could be a lot worse things!

Cmol

Heya

Some brilliant advice here, and you most definitely are not alone!! I came to boards after losing all my friends here and have met some absolutely amazing people on here!! I'd 200% recommend coming along tommorow night, if you sign up to boards, feel free to pm me and I can meet you beforehand

Sometimes things can get really really rough, but trust me when I say that a new beginning is only around the corner!!!

DenMan

Hi OP

Well man, you have taken the right step by acknowledging your loneliness. Getting it down on paper (boards) is a great way to get it out. We have all had our share of loneliness, believe me I know. The thing is to work with it, a step at a time. People who have trouble making friends can go about it the wrong way, they might jump head first in and frighten people away. Any work socials coming up, no!!, then start one. Ask around some of the people you are close to and see if they would be interested in doing something.

Also what interests you outside of work? What kind of music do you like? Maybe start to play an instrument to build your confidence levels up. When you are ready think about getting a cover band going, be surrounded by like minded individuals. Reward yourself after each step in the right direction, something small...whatever interests you. Maybe start writing or join the gym. If your not up to that do something else. I agree with the other poster about fencing, that would be terrific.

Do something you enjoy and the benefits will reap for themselves. If your not registered then please do, you will not regret it. Good luck.

dolphinius

pissed off dude wrote: »

hi all just found this site, read a few stories and im similar.

i have a few acquaintances , no real friends, its bugging as hell but lost contact with most of my mates after sec school and college had a few but grew apart.

i find it most depressing as dont have really anyone to go out with and live alone.

i feel real isolated no one to talk to, im a real saddo.

i just go to work and go home ,go to the shops.....thats really it.

it gets me down bigtime when i see others enjoying themselves going out with their mates,
and having fun, as i never have any fun like that , i went out a few times by my self but felt like a total tool, there by meself. i am a bit shy.

lately this has been really annoying me with the good weather and all.


its good to know that im not the only one in this situation. what to do is the big question.

Find myself in the same situation.
Will be at the beers tonight hoping to meet new people.
A new forum is in the process of being set up to tackle this situation.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055290984

You've found a good place to make new friends.
Sign up, turn on ( your PC ) and drop in.

mikewest

Once upon a time I found myself in your situation only probably worse as there as I was living abroad and had no-one to talk to you as a wedge had been driven between me and what few friends and aquaintances I had. There wasn't the option of joining clubs etc because of work commitments so I had to suffer it out for a few months before I finally moved to a different country, different company, similar job. Hey presto, with a bit of effort on my part i.e. going out with the gang every time the opportunity came up I started to make friends again. The big thing was making the effort to got out every chance I got and not putting it off because I was tired or didn't feel like it or any other stupid excuse. Some people are natural socialisers but more of us have to work harder at it than study, work, fitness etc. I can coast along in my job with minimal effort and the same with any study in my field but I have to work bloody hard at socialising or I fall into the same rut you are in.

Only you can make that effort to socialise so if the chance for a night out presents itself, grab it with both hands. If you are like me you will find it difficult to mingle and strike up conversations but keep trying cause it slowly gets easier. I know you will meet a lot of people you won't like and a fair share of as****s but you will meet people you like and some that you will become friends with. A boards beers has been suggested already, why not try that? have you anything else on? Go, go, get out. Its the only way.

RedXIV

loving dolphinius's unabashed plug for my forum

OP, i've spent about a month in dublin and i'm pretty happy with my results so far. i came knowing 3 people (including my housemate) and tonight for beers, I know a solid 30 going. And i know more who aren't even associated with this place. But the key element in this is deciding that enough is enough, i want people to hang around with. If you want to head to boards beers, let me know, i'll meet ya in town, if ya want to go for a quiet one first, break ya in and i guarantee a good night. If your not in Dublin, i may be able to send ya contact numbers.

Get out and be open with people and be open about making friends. once you do this, making friends becomes second nature.

All the best OP, PM if ya want to

Red