asking a woman out - i need encouragement

snapplejacks

Hi,
I'm in my mid 30's and met a girl i liked in town on Sunday night, early 30's. I was drunk and asked her out....been meaning to ask her out for a while, but as i was drunk I don't think she took me serious and it was kind of left up in the air.


now i want to ask her seriously and give her a phone call, her number is in phone book, at least i think its hers. it just feels strange doing this....its been a long time since i've done anything like this. She is really really nice and i just want to at least speak to her properly.

can anyone give me the gee-up i need ?! thanks

MIN2511

snapplejacks wrote: »

Hi,
I'm in my mid 30's and met a girl i liked in town on Sunday night, early 30's. I was drunk and asked her out....been meaning to ask her out for a while, but as i was drunk I don't think she took me serious and it was kind of left up in the air.


now i want to ask her seriously and give her a phone call, her number is in phone book, at least i think its hers. it just feels strange doing this....its been a long time since i've done anything like this. She is really really nice and i just want to at least speak to her properly.

can anyone give me the gee-up i need ?! thanks

What number is on the phone book? Do you have her mobile number? Right, i dunno about you getting her number from the phone book and contacting her. I would be pretty scared if someone did that but thats just me...
Do ye have mutual friends?

Alanstrainor

Well i suppose the only thing to say is, if you dont at least make the call you'll be kicking yourself for weeks to come. What's the worst that could happen? It's really a win win situation, you ask she says yes you're flying, you ask she says no you say fair enough and move on. I can't see any downside tbh. Best of Luck!

LadyE

To be honest I wouldnt get her number from the phonebook (screams stalker!) ask her for it the next time you see her.

Try not to have too much drink on board and say something like "I was deadly serious when I asked you out the last time, I would really like to, are you up for it"..

LadyE

Or maybe ask for her number when you see her and follow up with a phone call asking her out?

TeletextPear

yeah, just go for it, you'll be in knots if you keep putting it off, at least if you ring you'll have a definite answer. best of luck

moco

People have their number in the phone book for a reason…they want people to find it. Personally I think if she likes you at all she'll be delighted you went to the effort of finding her number and at least she'll know you're definitely serious this time. Go for it. Do it now.

snapplejacks

lol....yis are putting me clean off the idea now.....yeah, this is what i was scared of, the whole scanning the phone book thing.

no mutual friends and i'd rarely ever see her out.....she used to work in local leisure centre but hasnt for years.

what i might do is ask a mate to ring her first to run it by her or see how she feels about me ringing to ask her out ?

Nothingcompares

moco pop just said what I was going to say. If she wants you to ring her she'll be delighted regardless of how you came about her contact details. If she's not intereted, she's not interested and you may as well find out now as opposed to 6 months down the line.

Just start off with

i was just browsing the phonebook and I happened across your number, WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

spurious

Is there a chance you'd run into her again this weekend? You could stay sober and do things properly.

I wouldn't really appreciate someone I hardly knew tracking my number down in the phone book and ringing me out of the blue.

snapplejacks

i would safely say there isn't a mission i'd see her in the next 6 months....it was just pure chance we met

Pen1987

was she drunk?... tell her you asked her for it.

moco

Nothingcompares wrote: »

moco pop just said what I was going to say. If she wants you to ring her she'll be delighted regardless of how you came about her contact details. If she's not intereted, she's not interested and you may as well find out now as opposed to 6 months down the line.

Just start off with

i was just browsing the phonebook and I happened across your number, WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

Yea, I agree, that would be a funny way to start off:D

An ex of mine checked the phone book to get my number, I was really happy he did and I went out with him for a year and a half. Actually another guy got my number that way too (this was before moblies)

If the worst happens and she's not interested at least you won't see her any time soon.

LadyE

snapplejacks wrote: »

i would safely say there isn't a mission i'd see her in the next 6 months....it was just pure chance we met

Well then Id ring her.

Pen1987

you could be all mysterious and seductive IF she asks you where you found her number

"I know alot of people"

"I reckon I could find anyone in this city if I really wanted to..."

"there are ways and means to find everything, youve just got to know where to look"

Say them in a joking way and you'll make her laugh, get her to agree to a date then tell her you found her really interesting and you didnt want the chance to slip past so you looked her up... she should be impressed, I wouldnt tell her how you got it over the phone though.

Gross Halfwit

Nothingcompares wrote: »

Just start off with

i was just browsing the phonebook and I happened across your number, WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

Who exactly browses the phone book? May as well open with ... Hi, I'm Jeffery Dahmer ... fancy coming over for dinner?

If you rarely ever bump into this woman then what's the hassle? If you ring her & she rejects you , no harm, no foul. You're not losing a friend or gaining a reputation. It's not like you're going to keep seeing her & it being awkward ... You dig?

But on the other hand if she says yes ... then she says yes & it's game on.

Why didn't you get her number when you asked her out by the by? Drunken slip of the mind?

snapplejacks

thanks guys, gonna chicken out and get a mate to break the ice for me. easy way out i know and she'll still get to know i'm interested, if she's interested then i'm lifting that phone

Krsnik87

Pen1987 and Nothingcompares hit the nail on the head, go for it!

Kirnsy

you say you are/have mutual friends......


make sure the next time she is out YOU are out nearby....

whatever you do..don't let her know you've scanned the phonebook for her numero!!

jw297

personally I'd find it a bit weird for someone's friend to make the approach - if the number's in the phone book then there's no harm in calling. Might seem like you're not really bothered and just chancing it if you dont ask her yourself.

MIN2511

Right...

Why don't you bite the bullet and ring her

1. She would be glad you rang
2. She would hang up on you and call you a freak, also threaten to ring the gards
3. It might not be her number on the phone book
4. You listen to those of us and not listen to us, then you would be faced with i should have, i could have and i would have.

IMO, it's freaky but then she might like you e.t.c. and want more....

Ring her tonight/this evening-good luck and keep us posted:)

DenMan

Hey op

Why don't you just go back to the bar where you met her. The Euros are on now and will be full of people. Chances are you might just bump into her again. You might meet someone who knows her, maybe even the staff. I wouldn't just ring her out of the blue like that, it could be taken up wrong.

It's your call man. Do what you think is best. Good luck.

Standman

Don't get your friend to call, that will make you look bad. If I'm not mistaken women like guys with confidence, getting your friend to call ahead is not the way to go!

jdivision

Got a mutual friend? Ring them, get her mobile number and call her. Oh, got your number off so and so. Much better than ringing home number I think

Damzilla

jdivision wrote: »

Got a mutual friend? Ring them, get her mobile number and call her. Oh, got your number off so and so. Much better than ringing home number I think

That is exactly what I was going to suggest. Get her mobile number off a friend and send her a text!

Gross Halfwit

They don't havea mutual friend .. He is suggesting to get HIS mate to ring her on her home number to say that HE is going to call if that's ok .... BAD IDEA!

Nevyn

Some people may not consider him looking up the phone book to be stalkerish at all but instead rescourse full. If she is in the phone boook then you have her address and maybe send her a letter or and invitation out to dinner or flowers ( if flowers are your sort of thing ) .

"He who hesitates is lost"
"Fortune favours the bold"
"A faint heart never won a fair maid"
"Never put of until tomorrow what you can do today"

tbh

the longer you think about this, the harder you are going to make it on yourself, because you'll imagine all the different ways the conversation will go, and then when you DO actually ring her, you'll be trying to steer the conversation the way you've rehearsed it in your head.

If you want to ask her out, you are going to have to ring her. One can't happen without the other. So, instead of spending days wondering what you are going to say, and what she's going to say, do this. Pick up the phone, dial her number and press the call button. That way, you have to talk to her. Don't think about it, just do it. Once it's done, you'll wonder what you were worrying about. If she says yes, you've spared yourself days of torture. If she says no, better to know sooner.

Don't give yourself an opportunity to talk yourself out of this - and forget about the friend thing. You're in your mid 30's. Call her.

RedXIV

PLEASE don't get your mate to ring her, please please please!

The phonebook may not come across as the best option for alot of girls but lets face it, it's all you've got, you know you won't see her again out for months, time to be a man! and besides, if she enjoyed her time with you, you're on to a winner, you're just confirming the date.

If she doesn't like ya, well after the phone call you've established it and you can get on with your life.

NextSteps

What's so weird about using the phone book? That's what it's there for.

johndaman66

UB wrote: »

What's so weird about using the phone book? That's what it's there for.

Yeah totally agree with UB. I mean in fairness the lad said that chances are he wont see the girl for months and months. Although it may not be ideal think its the only way in this situation. Most girls would be flattered that you took the iniative Id imagine and if its left to chance to just meet her again she may well have hooked up with someone else by then.

az2wp0sye65487

Sure if she's in the phonebook why not get her address from it, track her down and just show up at her door some day!

Seriously though, i agree with those who have said thats what the phone book is for... she might be impressed that you went to the bother of looking... most of us are too lazy to even get that far!

AngryBadger

Hate to be a wet blanket, but how do you know this IS her number? And not someone else entirely?

Unless I missed a posting (which is possible ) I didn't see you mention anything about how you know it's her number.

As long as you're SURE it's her number, I'd go along with everyone else who's suggesting you call her.

If she thinks it's weird that you looked her up, that's her problem. You know it's not weird, you think she's nice, want to ask her out, and so you went to the phone book.

If she says no, so what? You'll feel better for having tried!