Friends of the opposite Sex...

Skinfull

This is a personal issue for me...but feel free to move it if I placed it wrong!

Okay I'm a chick and all my friends are male, bar one, but she lives in Cardiff Its not that I "hate girls" or any of that malarkey I just get on better with guys. I'm a computer programming, electronic engineering, comic collecting, movie whoring, rugby loving, "browncoat" geek. and well...I guess I haven't met any other women who enjoy these things. I'm not interested in faking it to hang out with girls I don't understand or can barely tolerate...anyway I digress.

My point is I'm single now (after 8yr relationship) and while I'm not exactly going out looking for another bf I am out with friends having a looksie as ya do. But like I said before all my friends are male...and after this weekend one of them took me aside and said that I'll never "pull" when I'm sitting with the guys as any potential will think I'm with one of them.

So...is that the case? how likely is it that any guy who does want to come over and talk to me will be put off because I might be sitting with one, two, three or four other men. all my friends are long term over 10 year friendships so we are close and have tactile friendships. So while I see my friends point I guess I'm...worried seems to strong as I really am not actively seeking a relationship...but...you know!

So...apart from activly seeking female friends...what do I do? or do I bother?

Cazlou

I definitely agree with your friend that you're less likely to meet a guy (unless it's a friend of one of your friends) when you're out with lads as general assumptions would be that you're dating/seeing one of them.

As or making female friends - there's plenty of Rugby fans in the LL http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1011
so that'd be one thing in common with a fair few of them, if you want to pop over for a visit - and as I've already posted to one girl on here today - keep an eye on the meet-up thread too for a chance to meet some of our ladies in person!

cowzerp

fella's wont come over to you as they think your taken, thats obvious!

try do some social events away from the guys, or get 1 of the lads to set you up, probably best way..

seamus

Skinfull wrote: »

So...is that the case? how likely is it that any guy who does want to come over and talk to me will be put off because I might be sitting with one, two, three or four other men.

Quite likely, on two fronts. The first is the obvious one - most men assume that if you're sitting with a group of guys, you're probably going out with one of them, and the rest are his mates. It's not always true, but it's the natural thing to think.

You've also got the bravado thing. Who's going to stand up and get shot down in front of five other guys?

RedXIV

Your friend has a point, i'd be pretty outgoing and social but a girl in a group of 4 or 5 lads? wouldn't really try it.

Your options, on a quick reflection seem to be:

1) become more independant and outgoing on nights out and approach guys you like the look of

2) find girls with similar interests as you (they do exist, you sound like a friend on mine on this site)

3) have your male friends bring out gf's etc to boost the number of girls in the group.

There may be more options, but thats after a quick thought, nothing else

DenMan

Hi OP

You just happen to have a lot of male friends because of the similar interests. I wouldn't go as far as saying you are a tomboy, just comfortable with yourself. Maybe you should start a group/society for females who are interested in the things you are but maybe aren't as a comfortable showing it on the outside as you are. Your bound to even come across like minded people here. Great place to start. Go for it.

DenMan

Both Red and I seem to be posting very similar posts. I assure you we are two different people.

Spud83

Solution = You approach guys

biko

If you're sitting with a group of guys other guy will not come over I believe.
Go to Boards beers where you can meet similar minded guys and girls.
Online dating?

Creamy Goodness

reverse the roles, would you talk to a girl if she was with a group of lads?

come to a boards beers, there will be lots of ladies that will be there that would share the same interests as you and i.

stcatherine

when I first read your post I was thinking .. what a load of crap I always hung out with the lads ( In fact you could be describing me in your post ) and I always pulled blokes and I'm happily married .....

But on reflection ...

Once Hubby and I were dating a lot of blokes asked him how he managed to pull me ... seems they all thought I was taken or something.

So, I'm not really sure what to say. I don't think I ever pulled any of the blokes I did because I was out with just a group of girls, and I couldnt 'make' myself be into all that girlie stuff and go out with girls either,
however I did have a great best friend who was a Girl tom boy just like me and we did go out to pubs a lot together, and come to think of it I met my HUbby cos she invited me to her sisters for a BBQ and he was there!

So My best advice would be try and find another girl who is into the same stuff as you, then you can go out on the pull together !

masterwriter

Skinfull wrote: »

This is a personal issue for me...but feel free to move it if I placed it wrong!

Okay I'm a chick and all my friends are male, bar one, but she lives in Cardiff Its not that I "hate girls" or any of that malarkey I just get on better with guys. I'm a computer programming, electronic engineering, comic collecting, movie whoring, rugby loving, "browncoat" geek. and well...I guess I haven't met any other women who enjoy these things. I'm not interested in faking it to hang out with girls I don't understand or can barely tolerate...anyway I digress.

My point is I'm single now (after 8yr relationship) and while I'm not exactly going out looking for another bf I am out with friends having a looksie as ya do. But like I said before all my friends are male...and after this weekend one of them took me aside and said that I'll never "pull" when I'm sitting with the guys as any potential will think I'm with one of them.

So...is that the case? how likely is it that any guy who does want to come over and talk to me will be put off because I might be sitting with one, two, three or four other men. all my friends are long term over 10 year friendships so we are close and have tactile friendships. So while I see my friends point I guess I'm...worried seems to strong as I really am not actively seeking a relationship...but...you know!

So...apart from activly seeking female friends...what do I do? or do I bother?

This reminds me of a mate of mine once being in a nite club and being approached at bar and chatted to by a gorgeous lass but he ignored her cos she was with a guy ..... who turned out to be ....her brother...I swear its true

MIN2511

Right, when i hang out with lads i never expect to pull infact i never pull but when with the girls it's a different ball game.
Feel free to hang come to the BGRH drinks on friday if you are in Dublin....You might meet some ladies


Isn't it ironic that if a lad is out with a bunch of girls he can still pull but when vice versa it's impossible.... sigh:(

Talliesin

Chat up men.

Weidii

Op, I know exactly what you mean!

I'm a fellow nerdy girl and most of my friends are male. If you want to meet guys outside your social circle just join some clubs or societies (ie, join an art class, a band, a sports club etc.) Either that or internet dating, if you're comfortable with it.

Good luck!

Reku

Well I'm kind of the mirror to your situation in that I'm a guy who's always gotten on better with girls &, as a result, people (male and female) were always thinking that I was going out with whichever one of them they'd see me with most. Meant I regularly had to clear things up with people, heck think some of the girls would have generally been considered way out of my league, but still didn't stop the rumour mongers.
Didn't bother me much though, just worried me that one of the ones who actually had a boyfriend might get landed in trouble with the lad because of the baseless rumours (thankfully this never happened:)).
As such I think you're either going to have to fly solo from time to time or as others have said, make the first move and when you see a guy you're interested in go talk to him and ask him out if he seems like someone you'd really like to get to know better.

Skinfull

Thanks for your thoughts guys. Like I said before I'm not too worried about it ATM as I'm just out of a relationship and enjoying the cruising of singlehood. But after my mate pulling me aside I guess a wave of worry came to the forefront.

Thanks.

Nevyn

So you're more of a Kaylee Frye then an Inara Serra, but that is a great advantage.
Yes there are other people who happen to be female that are into the same things and
also can't stand girlie females and I would never sugget you try and fit in with them to
try meet guys, cos it's being false and not who you are.

You have by the sounds of it a bunch of really cool firends who happen to be guy which is something most girlie females would love to have acess too, and with those guys in your life you will undoubtly meet a lot more guys via them then you would with a pack of girilies.

You will have to learn to keep an eye out and try spot guys that are intrested in you and when you do learn to seperate yourself from the group so they can approach you or find away to bump into them, you just got to learn to spot them and keep an eye.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Skinfull wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts guys. Like I said before I'm not too worried about it ATM as I'm just out of a relationship and enjoying the cruising of singlehood. But after my mate pulling me aside I guess a wave of worry came to the forefront.

Thanks.

u are describing me two years ago..... you need a few ladies to head out with.... you seem sound so maybe try net dating (its great fun too)