rows over wedding guest list

auditek923

has any other couple had rows over who to invite and who not to invite. ? because my fiance cannot be reasoned with but then when it comes to my side of the family its like, " why are you inviting them for" ? agggggghhhhhhhhhh
gets on my nerves

sillysocks

I think everyone has rows like that about the guest list! Ours has been more with each set of parents who want the world (+1!) invited. We're going to Spain for the wedding and want to keep it to just the people we want there. I think our parents didn't understand that if they each wanted "just" 3 friends there, that'd be 3 friends plus a guest, so 6 people each, by four parents is 24 people! and when we're only having a wedding of about 70 that'd mean 1/4 of our guests being parents friends - before we invite any relations or our friends!

Plus when you've 50 aunts and uncles (with partners) that doesn't help either :eek:

Abi

auditek923 wrote: »

has any other couple had rows over who to invite and who not to invite. ? because my fiance cannot be reasoned with but then when it comes to my side of the family its like, " why are you inviting them for" ? agggggghhhhhhhhhh
gets on my nerves

Absolutely Auditek. Im pretty sure nearly everyone comes across this problem. There are so many elements to it. You might be trying to keep costs down, you dont get on with a would-be guest, you'd rather no children were in attendance. All a recipe for a bit of verbal friction tbh.

We arent having any friends in attendence, we got sick of the.. "if you invite x and not x, there will be noses in the air" business.

We've invited our direct family members and their spouses. Two of H2B's brothers long term g/fs arent invited. The first one is always falling in and out with his g/f in drink-fuelled arguments. Not.Going.To.Happen. End of.

Then there is the other brothers long term psychopath g/f, long rant about that one, but shes not worth keyboard effort.

The brothers both live with fiances parents. On the invitation it reads: Father & Mother, Brother & Brother, you are invited to the wedding of: Yadda.


Someone tried to approach me gentley on the matter of ettiquette. My response was 'ettiquette my árse'

Auditek, what is the fiancees problem with who you've mentioned? She will have to meet you half-way.

auditek923

let me just clear things up, i am a guy 100% male hetrosexual marrying a woman ...........lol

auditek923

her family is bigger than mine and her family has lots of relations who all live close by etc. my family is smaller . she wants all her relations going but when i name a few friends or people i grew up with she hits the roof. woman can be so unreasonable at times . its not my fault i have more friends than her

Abi

auditek923 wrote: »

let me just clear things up, i am a guy 100% male hetrosexual marrying a woman ...........lol

Well, you dont give much away by avatar/ name etc then you go calling your partner a 'fiance'.. add another 'e'


In that case.. Ask her what her reasons are for not allowing some and not others. Is there any kind of a budget issue?

Unless there is bad relations with any of the people you would like to invite or they have bad social skills, or any budgetary problems, then there shouldnt be any problem. (imo)


Whens the wedding Aud?

auditek923

wedding is the end of august

Abi

Well thats kinda soon Especially if your guests have to do any travelling / stay over at the venue.


Best thing you can do is tell her to sit down and talk it out, hear each other out on the points you have against inviting someone etc.


What reasons is she giving?

kittex

Many couples in the UK have A and B lists: the A list being the ones they both certainly agree on, the B being the iffy ones.
They send the A lists out with a short RSVP time, and any spaces created by those declined, goes to some of the B list...

Of course, it is rather hurtful when you find out you are only on the B list but sure it's your day...

Toots

How many people is she inviting? Me and my OH have decided we'd want 100 guests, and that's what we'd budget for. We each get to pick 50 guests, then we had some mutual friends that we want to invite so it brings the list up to about 110. My OH has a huge family and I've never even met some of his relatives, but I think it'd be really unreasonable for her to try and tell you who you can and can't invite, (unless it's someone who she really doesn't get on with, or you're inviting loads more people than you can afford to) It's only fair that you'd get to invite as many people as she does.