Single for the first time in a long time

clicli

This may become very long winded and rambling so I apologise in advance.

Basically I dumped my bf of two and a half years last week while we were in america, he told that when he had been on holidays in april he had cheated on my, needless to say I was heartbroken and couldn't wait to get home and away from him!!

So now I'm home, I'm so lonely! I lost contact with my social friends two years ago when my mom died, I had become a bit of a recluse so friendships moved on without me. I still have my bestfriend, but she is very ill so can't really socialise much which I don't hold against her at all, but I miss random girly nights out and having a social life!!


I am also currently unemloyed at the moment which doesn't help, but have been to several interviews this week so fingers crossed!!

Anyone else in the same boat? Any suggestions for my situation? Taking the bf back is a definate no no!!!

From a lonely 23 year old!!

Larianne

Once you get a job and get meeting people you'll start to feel much better and make friends.

While you're still waiting on an offer, get yourself out of the house- go for walks, maybe meet up with a family member for coffee.

Skinfull

I'm there. In feb I broke up with my bf after 12 frackin years when he decieded that marraige just wasnt the type of guy he was...even though we had all but planned it out...harsh.

Anyhoo, I work for myself so I dont have a social outlet there and I'm terrible at making friends. I have a small circle of very close friends that I've known since college over a decade ago but I dont live near them so random nights out there arent as often as I'd like or even need.

My family are all about me taking him back but I cant. Not when we feel so differently about things. So I just jumped into stuff head first. I ran the mini marathon for the first time, I joined the local sports club and play tag rugby for the first time, I went to a book crossing and a firefly shindig and met some people there!

It was terrifying and I was sweating blood (still do when we meet up) but it was totally worht it and I have made som really good friends. I'm not interested in looking for another relationship ATM but just getting out, going for nightly walks even if its just to video rental place...anything! Just get out and keep active.

People are there, you just gotta get out and see

good luck.

RedXIV

ok well for social life, there is an impromtu meet up tonight of alot of people who are feeling the bite of loneliness in dub if your interested? there's a thread in after hours if ya are?

Will PM ya a number if ya need it.

Am trying to bulk up the numbers of these meet ups but we'll see how they go.

As for the job, i'll look around and see if i can dig up something for ya.

Best of Luck

Red

manic56

clicli wrote: »

This may become very long winded and rambling so I apologise in advance.

Basically I dumped my bf of two and a half years last week while we were in america, he told that when he had been on holidays in april he had cheated on my, needless to say I was heartbroken and couldn't wait to get home and away from him!!

So now I'm home, I'm so lonely! I lost contact with my social friends two years ago when my mom died, I had become a bit of a recluse so friendships moved on without me. I still have my bestfriend, but she is very ill so can't really socialise much which I don't hold against her at all, but I miss random girly nights out and having a social life!!


I am also currently unemloyed at the moment which doesn't help, but have been to several interviews this week so fingers crossed!!

Anyone else in the same boat? Any suggestions for my situation? Taking the bf back is a definate no no!!!

From a lonely 23 year old!!

If you are out tonight pm me your no and you can meet up with me and my mates

LadyE

Have just invited her to the same thing..have even offered a lift so..*in word of mts dotle* go on go gon go on!!!

manic56

LadyE wrote: »

Have just invited her to the same thing..have even offered a lift so..*in word of mts dotle* go on go gon go on!!!

Well I'm goin for canz with steo and redzer,bosco sez he mite be out 2,Comon will be a laugh???

BankMan

Hi there - sorry to hear about your recent breakup.

The unfortunate thing about being single is that you only realise how useful it can be when it's over. It sounds very cliched - but taking some time out just for yourself can be really refreshing.

People of our generation seem to feel under pressure to always be in a relationship, always in a large social network etc., dont let it get to you though.

Best of luck, keep the chin up !

DD

You can't do everything to be good over night but you have faith things will start to go better. Try to make new friends and keep the old ones close to you. It is hard after the break up but you will get over it.

Wurly

RedXIV wrote: »

ok well for social life, there is an impromtu meet up tonight of alot of people who are feeling the bite of loneliness in dub if your interested? there's a thread in after hours if ya are?

Will PM ya a number if ya need it.

Am trying to bulk up the numbers of these meet ups but we'll see how they go.

As for the job, i'll look around and see if i can dig up something for ya.

Best of Luck

Red

You're an absolute pet, Red.:)

OP, what do you like doing? What are your talents? Have you anything that you haven't done yet but like to give a try?

These are the things that will make you feel better. Reclaim your identity again and look after yourself.

Turn the heartache on its head and look at it another way. You only have yourself to consider and you can big fat do anything you want!!!

Get out there and throw yourself into things you enjoy. Have a look on the night courses website for some inspiration. You will soon find that you wont have time to ponder your heartache. Instead, you will be enjoying re-discovering yourself again and widening your social circle.

Most important of all, when you feel like crying - cry!! Get it out - it has nowhere else to go.

Good luck.x

Rattlehead_ie

Hi OP

I think everyones advice above is pretty solid and right, there have been many ppl in your siutation, maybe not being on holiday while it happened but defo the being single for a 1st time in a long time me included.

Best thing that you can do for yourself is dont go rushing into the next relationship you can find, you will find that you will miss the closeness and intimicy of your last relationship and you will also see other ppl (your friends, family) etc in relationships as well which will be hard, but if you rush in you may carry some of the doubt, and get into this relationship for the wrong reason. Look after yourself, go out socialize, meet new people, take up an interest or set ur mind to something you have always wanted to do and you will be fine. Good Luck and you will feel yourself getting and feeling SO much better as the wks go on

jellie

Tri wrote: »

You're an absolute pet, Red.:)

OP, what do you like doing? What are your talents? Have you anything that you haven't done yet but like to give a try?

These are the things that will make you feel better. Reclaim your identity again and look after yourself.

Turn the heartache on its head and look at it another way. You only have yourself to consider and you can big fat do anything you want!!!

Get out there and throw yourself into things you enjoy. Have a look on the night courses website for some inspiration. You will soon find that you wont have time to ponder your heartache. Instead, you will be enjoying re-discovering yourself again and widening your social circle.

Most important of all, when you feel like crying - cry!! Get it out - it has nowhere else to go.

Good luck.x

This is good advice. Im in the same situation as you & this is what im desperately TRYING to do. i feel like ive lost half of who i am or something, trying now to get back to being me!

Rattlehead_ie wrote: »

you will find that you will miss the closeness and intimicy of your last relationship and you will also see other ppl (your friends, family) etc in relationships as well which will be hard, but if you rush in you may carry some of the doubt,

thats exactly it. i see couples EVERYWHERE. i was in town today & everyone seemed to be holding hands etc. i miss having someone.

but at the same time i dont want just ANYONE so that i have someone. i want to be happy on my own.