Is he cheating and taking advantage?

LegacyUser

Unrg for obvious reasons

I am very confused about this.
Maybe someone can help

My best friend, her boyfriend and I are in a club together. A sports club and there are younger members.
My best Friend X and I have not been seeing eye to eye of late, which is grand and I know all that will blow over. I never really liked her boyfriend before, but since he is working and intercating with the younger members of the sports club I like he a whole lot less.

I try be civil for the sake of X.
But the boyfriend Y has sent aggrevise texts and has spoken down to me now more than once. Cleverly waiting until X is not around.
I think this stems from something I caught him out on.

He text the Managers spare phone, one we use to send out texts about training, matches etc. This is passed around to different members every few months to share the responsiblty.
A younger member (female) justed turn 18 and joined the coaching staff, had the phone then it passed to me. I saw a text he sent her, mocking me.
Ok that annoyed me, but that’s not the worrying bit he signed it with kisses. And before you say it he is not the kind to sign with kisses.
I texted back saying not to use the club phone to talk about me.

I noticed him around her, I am unsure what to make of it. He will stay back after training if she is waiting for a lift, IMO he is too friendly and too old for her nearly 30
I voiced concrens with the Manager, nothing official though.

What do I do.
Tell X
Tell Y to stop treating me like ****
Tell someone I want to make a complaint


Any Ideas

Carrigart Exile

butt out, its not your business. You challenge him about his treatment of you but forget dreaming up affairs

LegacyUser

Not dreaming.

He is too friendly with her. And what if this was happening when she was 17, she only just turned 18. Have you heard of child protection

Carrigart Exile

Very Worried wrote: »

Not dreaming.

He is too friendly with her. And what if this was happening when she was 17, she only just turned 18. Have you heard of child protection

She's 18, she's a young woman

Dont be at yourself

Yeah, talk about blowing things out of proportion. "Very worried" - about what???

littlefriend

I'd tell her to be honest. They can sort it out between themselves. And it is your business because he is being a dick to you.

Colonel_McCoy

You need to lean back, its none of your business what he does with anybody else...............regarding his comments sometimes you have to ignore what people say about you and rise above it.

AnonoBoy

Very Worried wrote: »

Have you heard of child protection

Yes. It applies to children. This girl is 18.

Also - you have no definite proof that he's doing anything. Most of this seems to be borne out of the fact that you don't like your friend's boyfriend and he mocks you. Reason enough to be angry - but not reason enough to try and break them up with (as yet) unfounded allegations.

Also, do you think your friend will thank you for telling her this? Most likely she will not believe you especially since you have no proof.

LegacyUser

Thank you a lot of what I heard makes sense.

I know I dont have proof, but this was brought up to me by other people also.

I know the girl is now 18 about 3 months ago.

If something did happen before after birthday it would be against protection if not very close.

The only reason I did nothing formal, is because I know if I am wrong it could ruin the guy.

I do feel that if he continues to treat me bad though I will have it out in front of the other adults, Bullys are cowards after all.

He thinks I havent told the manager of his behaviour

Carrigart Exile

Very Worried wrote: »

Thank you a lot of what I heard makes sense.

I know I dont have proof, but this was brought up to me by other people also.

I know the girl is now 18 about 3 months ago.

If something did happen before after birthday it would be against protection if not very close.

The only reason I did nothing formal, is because I know if I am wrong it could ruin the guy.

I do feel that if he continues to treat me bad though I will have it out in front of the other adults, Bullys are cowards after all.

He thinks I havent told the manager of his behaviour

Hold on, is there something we are missing? Your pals boyfriend flirts with this girl. Your pals boyfriend doesn't like you. You don't like him and are now making up stories about him with a view to making those stories very public if he keeps annoying you.

If that summary is correct can i just warn you, unless you have definite proof do not dream of 'destroying his career' with your allegations, you may find yourself facing liable/slander charges.

Doctor DooM

Carrigart Exile wrote: »

Hold on, is there something we are missing? Your pals boyfriend flirts with this girl. Your pals boyfriend doesn't like you. You don't like him and are now making up stories about him with a view to making those stories very public if he keeps annoying you.

If that summary is correct can i just warn you, unless you have definite proof do not dream of 'destroying his career' with your allegations, you may find yourself facing liable/slander charges.

+1.

OP I do not doubt this guy is a nasty piece of work, I have been involved in a similar situation, but if you want to get work involved, you need to be very, very careful about how you do it.

Keep a diary and write down a time and date for every time he does something out of order. Show this diary to an impartial friend and ask if emotions are clouding the issue. You may need this diary to show to your mutual boss if things get out of hand.

Wait until he either gives you proof (retrieve that nasty text) or does it in front of someone who will be willing to say to your boss they saw it.

Do not tell your friend until you have some proof. Don't make it him against you.

AFAIK OP, a 17 year old girl is still responsible for their own body, 16 is the legal limit.

Gary ITR

OP you really need to butt out and mind your own business. You remind me of the friend type that interferes in all her friends relationships cos they're too fugly to get their own

Drift

OP you have the right to be angry at this guy for making fun of you.

You do not have the right to tell all sorts of stories about him in order to get him back.

He is not molesting a child, what he is doing is being mildly flirty with a woman who is not his girlfriend. While this is not ideal; it is not in any way your business.

carbsy

Jeez OP, there's a bad tone of bitterness in your comments.Have you been with this guy before? Are you single at present? Do you have too much time on your hands? Leave the guy alone, he's done nothing wrong.

MagicMarker

Very Worried wrote: »

Thank you a lot of what I heard makes sense.

I know I dont have proof, but this was brought up to me by other people also.

I know the girl is now 18 about 3 months ago.

If something did happen before after birthday it would be against protection if not very close.

The only reason I did nothing formal, is because I know if I am wrong it could ruin the guy.

I do feel that if he continues to treat me bad though I will have it out in front of the other adults, Bullys are cowards after all.

He thinks I havent told the manager of his behaviour

Isn't the legal age 17 for a girl? If so, what 'formal' complain do you intend to make?

LegacyUser

Carrigart Exile wrote: »

Hold on, is there something we are missing? Your pals boyfriend flirts with this girl. Your pals boyfriend doesn't like you. You don't like him and are now making up stories about him with a view to making those stories very public if he keeps annoying you.

If that summary is correct can i just warn you, unless you have definite proof do not dream of 'destroying his career' with your allegations, you may find yourself facing liable/slander charges.

Okay this seems to paint a bad picture of me.

I said I would have it out, I meant about his behaviour to me. But not about this girl.
He didnt always not like me, we used to be okay chat the odd time.

Only when I spotted this text has his manner changed completely.

I would never dream of ruining a man without any proof, not only would it ruin him, it would break MY BEST FRIENDS heart and it would destroy the club forever, no one would ever send their kids to it.
I am not stupid.

But as an leader when a number of other leaders and two younger girls tell me they are not happy with what he is doing.
Especailly when the two younger girls are not happy to travel with him to matchs or training and was he "freaks them out". But when I ask why, they refuse to go into it.

to answer other questions.
No I never had anything with him.
I am seeing someone at the moment and very happy with that.
I work and very busy with travel and side projects- designing, so its not with I have a lot of time to think about this.

Nevyn

If you are concerned that minors are at risk report it to the appropiate people.