Leaving on a jet plane...I hope!

Ronko

I just came out of a long (12 yr) relationship in feb. And I have been fairly okay with it. Got my own place and generally getting on with life, as ya do. Anyhoo last month I was having lunch with a friend who has recently quit his job, and we were jokingly talking about getting out of Ireland, leaving for where ever would have us! We came across the USIT Work / Travel for a year thingy. We gave each other a weekend to decide and just agreed to go for it. He hated his job but took it back to raise money for the trip and I notified my job that I was leaving after Christmas.

So...yay! Like I said before I'm recently single and he's been single for about 5 years. We are both VERY excited about this trip and talked non stop about it for weeks till we realised we'd go off our heads if we didn't stop. So this was all good. Except...last week he met a chick! I'm really happy for him and want to see him happy but now there is talk of him not coming with me...

I dunno if I can do this on my own! But I really need to get away from here for a while. He's known her for a while but they only got together last week and he seems happy enough. Not overly happy, bees and butterflies happy but I wont be the one to accentuate any seeds of doubt!

I'm a pretty shy girl and TERRIBLE at making friends. I'm a feckin geek with a horrible lack of initial social skills and my idea of small talk is "if dogs bark at me does that mean I'm a terminator?" so I don't relish the idea of moving to a new country on my own... any advice?

Of course I want to leave him to his own devices and not pull him away from a budding relationship, he has to make his own decision...but man, I dunno if I can go! On my own! to a place I've never been, have no family or job...EEEP!

Has anyone done it, doing it have any advice on hw to tackle this?

Captain Ginger

Well first of all I think it was a bit lame of your friend to drop your plans for someone he just met a week ago, but each to their own I guess.

You seemed to be pretty geared up for this and I think you should go for it. The world is a funny place and you may have a great time, and if not what's stopping you from coming back?

You also may find that your friend may join you in a few weeks/months if his relationship doesn't work out.

Life if about taking risks and if you feel confident enough that you can do well through this go for it and have a blast.

togster

There's only one thing to do. Just do it. Believe in yourself and commit to the idea and the rest will fall into place.

red_ice

Ronko wrote: »

my idea of small talk is "if dogs bark at me does that mean I'm a terminator?"

haha, thats an excellent one liner! Dont worry about it. You sound like a nice person to socialize with. Sounds like you have a funny sense of humor too! Go for it, doesnt matter if your friend is coming or not - its an experience. You would be amazed what will happen if you go wondering. Consider inter railing, loads of my mates tell me about their end of days chatting to random people in a hostel pub and having great fun with them etc. Meeting new people wont be a problem for you i reckon.

Spud83

First where are you planning on going?

Second you are not going until after Christmas this is plenty of time for the relationship to fail (I'm not wishing it but it’s an obvious possibility)

Thirdly I know plenty of people who travelled alone and they all said how scared they were leaving home. But they were also amazed at how easy it was to make friends and not a single one of them regretted the trip. Everyone who travel whether they are in a group or alone are looking to make new friends. Nobody I know who travelled came back with no new friends. You will probably make so many you won’t be able to contact with them all.

Wherever you are travelling all you have to so is book into a hostel for the first few nights. You will meet people in the same situations yourself (alone), people who started off the same as you but are now travelling with another group, and you will meet people who are travelling in a group from the start. All it takes is to say hello and because you are meeting everyone else that is travelling then the conversation flows. Where have you been? Where are going? Where did you live work? What did you do? And there you have a friend in no time.

Finally, you can only truly regret the things in life you don’t do. Be careful, if you pull out of this trip you will be sitting there a year later think. Why didn’t I go? Even if the trip doesn’t work (unlikely IMO) then you will still have the experience to look back and learn from and become a better person.

petethebrick

Yeah, head off on your own I reckon. Although, you never know, your friends new thing could be over long before that^^ I personally prefer travelling alone as it makes it easier to meet new people etc Be careful with those USIT/SAYIT programmes, I know that some of them are meant to be complete scams. Did you ever consider teaching english? I worked in Korea for a few years, had the time of my life+ the opportunity to travel around asia etc. PM if you need any info,
Good Luck!

Maeve Rosa

You should read "travelling solo" sections of the travel guides out there. Where are you planning to go? Many of these work/ travel placements have orientations where you stay in a hostel with other people on the same programme as you. Research all the optional extras like that, you;ll settle in after a little while so it's the beginning you need to concentrate on organising to an extent that you feel comfortable with the endeavour.

Ronko

We are supposed to be going to Canada. I have been working for myself for the past 8 years and have a big sum of money saved so I wont have to work too much over the course of the year, I am however planning to get a part time job while I'm over there to make it easier to make friends.

The whole "just say hi" thing is kinda beyond me. I just FAIL at the talking. I'm trying not to wish for the relationship to fail but I cant help it! Man I'm baaaaad!

I reckon I'll go. Hell I gotta go. Like someone said if I don't go...come this time next year I'll be gutted to have missed the opportunity!

The USIT thing seems fairly legit so I'm not worried about that! I don't need a visa for Canada anyway just a work permit so thats kosher.

GOTTA DO IT!!!! GOTTA!!! Thanks guys

How Strange

Ronko wrote: »

We are supposed to be going to Canada. I have been working for myself for the past 8 years and have a big sum of money saved so I wont have to work too much over the course of the year, I am however planning to get a part time job while I'm over there to make it easier to make friends.

The whole "just say hi" thing is kinda beyond me. I just FAIL at the talking. I'm trying not to wish for the relationship to fail but I cant help it! Man I'm baaaaad!

I reckon I'll go. Hell I gotta go. Like someone said if I don't go...come this time next year I'll be gutted to have missed the opportunity!

The USIT thing seems fairly legit so I'm not worried about that! I don't need a visa for Canada anyway just a work permit so thats kosher.

GOTTA DO IT!!!! GOTTA!!! Thanks guys

OP def go for it. Even if this new 'relationship' (can you call it that after a week?) fails for your friend I wouldn't be relying on him as it didn't take him long to change his plans.

If you don't need to work much then maybe find some projects that interest you and volunteer your time. You'll be mixing with people and won't feel as self conscious as walking into a hostel or bar or somewhere and trying to make friends.

Ronko

Actually thats a good point. Even if this "thing" fails doesn't mean he wont find another excuse not to join me eh!

Right so ted. gotta do it.

I've already been looking up sports clubs in Toronto! Man I'm EXCITED!!!!
Only 10 months to go!!!! :D

Spud83

You should find plenty of Canada info here.

srdb20

Great or possibly the best choice you will ever make!!!!

Best of luck OP:D