I am doing research.

thefinalstage

For a study on male and female interaction. What I need are honest answers. I am interested in how women perceive male approaches in daily life what lets you distinguish a sexual advance from an emotional one? How do you like being approached? What details do you notice about the male suitor and what would make you become instantly defensive/attracted towards them? How do you get rid of someone you do not like?

I will get a wider pool of willing participants here and I can directly quote what was said . I will go to the streets later anyway but your comments will help .

Where should I post the male equivalent to this thread by the way? BGRH?

Abi

thelastangryman wrote: »

how women perceive male approaches in daily life what lets you distinguish a sexual advance from an emotional one?

Men dont. Before I go on, this isnt a men-hating dig; but they tend to go in dick first, decide on emotionals later.

How do you like being approached?

Me personally? Not immediately, or directly. I get to know guys from friend circles, I can decide from a safe point whether I can be bothered or not. If approached while out by a stranger while out, in most cases there would be totally blankage.

What details do you notice about the male suitor and what would make you become instantly defensive/attracted towards them?

Eyes, smile, mannerisms. I wouldnt judge on attractiveness per se.

How do you get rid of someone you do not like?

Treat others how you want to be treated. The truth, gently.

Crumble Froo

what lets you distinguish a sexual advance from an emotional one?

being approached in a bar/club = sexual, no doubt. if you're out in the smokers area, yeah, it could be just chit chat, it might be more, always hard to say, but in general, if it's a sexual one, it'll usually be out of nowhere, whereas emotional one will be when you're in groups in class/work/whatever...


How do you like being approached?

not at all? i never actually go out to meet guys as such, and any relationship i've ever been in, we started off as mates and i just fell into them...

What details do you notice about the male suitor and what would make you become instantly defensive/attracted towards them?

oh god... style? if it looks like we've something in common, maybe?
damn, i duno... just that look about someone, where you could guess if they enjoy a laugh, some good music, have a sense of humour... nothing you could really put a finger on.

How do you get rid of someone you do not like?

dont engage in conversation much, and once drink is served, head back to mates. im only ever caught out when im on my own orderin drinks.

Black Swan

thelastangryman wrote: »

For a study on male and female interaction. What I need are honest answers.

Now, that's a one-liner someone used on me months back in university. Ha!

thelastangryman wrote:

I am interested in how women perceive male approaches in daily life what lets you distinguish a sexual advance from an emotional one?

Not sure what you mean by "emotional one" (obviously I know what a sexual advance is).

thelastangryman wrote:

How do you like being approached?

Normally not in pubs or clubs. They are so cliche'... and drunks are a turn-off indeed! As an alternative setting, coffeehouses that have atmosphere (not sterile corporate-cloned Star*ucks!), where someone can engage in a lively discussion and get to know someone, while sipping a java.

thelastangryman wrote:

What details do you notice about the male suitor and what would make you become instantly defensive/attracted towards them? How do you get rid of someone you do not like?

"Suitor" is a bit strong and presumptive? Perhaps in New Deli this term would be appropriate?

Attractive vs unattractive? Someone creative in terms of their expressed interests is attractive to me (writer, painter, photographer, musician, etc.). They should also be physically fit, not smoke or do drugs or be a heavy drinker (all turnoffs). Unfit bods are a turnoff... yes, I know that's shallow, but I've been into athletics (taekwondo) for awhile now.

Approach? Confident but not domineering. Treats me as a person, not an object. Engaging, allowing for equal give-and-take in conversation. Playful humour (after we start to get to know one another).

Discourage them? Well, when going to a pub or club with friends, I will often wear my Mum's engagement ring to ward off the wolves. If they still approach me, are too drunk to notice, or clueless, I just show them the ring and smile. It normally works, without all the discomfort of putting a lad down. If they are slow and still don't get the hint, I tell them "I'm taken" and turn away.

Reku

Abigayle wrote: »

Men dont. Before I go on, this isnt a men-hating dig; but they tend to go in dick first, decide on emotionals later.

Some of us don't let the little fella lead us around though so I'm glad you put "tend".:)

Crumble Froo wrote:

being approached in a bar/club = sexual, no doubt.

Glad I've always dismissed anyone who approached me in bars/clubs, well that and I couldn't understand a damn thing they were saying as they were usually too sh1tfaced to string together a coherent sentence, did not make for impressive conversation from them. Though I have repeatedly heard the above from female friends, seems that although some girls go out with the intent of hooking up most lads unfortunately assume that as most lads go out with the intent of hooking up so must most girls, that and seem to be rather slow to take the hint that the girl's just not interested (have even heard of lads trying to push through the barrier of the girl's friends after she asks them to help).

Also the way I see it is if they come over the chat you up as opposed to just to chat it's not exactly flattering is it, I mean if they really found you appealing surely they'd want to get to know you, invest the time to see if there's a real hope of something worthwhile between you. Having someone stoll up and try it on when they probably used the exact same lines & maneuvers last night/last week, possibly even just earlier THAT night, on someone else just doesn't say much for what they really think of you; "Ooh, there's my entertainment for tonight".

Abi

farohar wrote: »

Some of us don't let the little fella lead us around though so I'm glad you put "tend".:)

Yore a boy!?! :eek:





Now Im over the shock... Just as men are, womens opinons on the matter can vary. Im not keen on suprise approaches. Ive a tendancy to study someones mannerisms / sense of humour before-hand. No point accepting an invitation to go out with someone whos just approached you, only to find out later I dont really get on with him. Just my take on it.

Reku

lol... cats do pull the funniest faces.:D

Doh! Yup, I'm a male, folks tend to have a hard time realising that regardless of where I post (other segments of boards.ie and even other forums), seems I've a feminine way of posting or something... either that or it's that I never say anything like "hey baby, wanna cyber?".:p:D

Macha

(Thanks Crumble Froo - stole your formatting )

what lets you distinguish a sexual advance from an emotional one?

Yeah, as others said the setting & context are the biggest indicators. If its in a pub/club then probably sexual. And if it's out of the blue (like someone just starting a conversation out of nowhere), then its sexual.

For me to think its in some way emotional, there would have to be some sort of reason for us to be talking (ie someone I know, or friend of a friend).

How do you like being approached?

No chat-up lines, no sleaziness. These all set off major alarm bells! Just a person being genuine & having a good chat (with a pretext, not just walking up to me randomly). Then again, if I'm just looking for some fun, I wouldn't let the chat-up lines & sleaziness bother me as much.

PLUS - sometimes I did the approaching!

What details do you notice about the male suitor and what would make you become instantly defensive/attracted towards them?

Any ostentatious clothing (large jewelry, flashy watch) would suggest a superficial person & I wouldn't be into that. Again, sleaziness, any sign of desperation & willingness to hop straight into bed with me, any comments on my appearance (apart from vague "you're looking well", etc). Once a guy came up to me & told me I had great tits...that didn't go so well for him.

Attractive: Just wearing normal clothes, no crazy hair dos (ie mohawks, etc), appearance of being genuine, intelligent.

How do you get rid of someone you do not like?
Well, if they're rude to me & start making comments about certain body parts, I won't bother being polite & will tell them to take a hike.
If they're nice enough & I'm just not interested, I'll just make vague excuses & leave. If they're a bit persistent, I'll mention that I have a boyfriend.

Edit: Yeah, farohar I didn't know if you were male or female for a while coz you kept sticking up for the wimmin in AH!

Abi

farohar wrote: »

lol... cats do pull the funniest faces.:D

Love them damn cats. Theres one for every occasion. In fact Im thinking of not using words or numbers anymore. I think I will just communicate in cats.

:pac:

Doh! Yup, I'm a male, folks tend to have a hard time realising that regardless of where I post (other segments of boards.ie and even other forums)

Radar is picking up an 'Owen McLove' type character!

Reku

Abigayle wrote: »

Radar is picking up an 'Owen McLove' type character!

Who??

Abi

farohar wrote: »

Who??

Cant find a pic of him in character, but Patrick McDonnell is the actor who plays Owen Mclove in an episode of Father ted. The guy on the left:



When hes on his show hes loved by all women, but mostleh the auld gals.

:pac: