Positive Thinking

heavyheart

I feel like sometimes i always expect the worse, if i go for a job ill convince myself i wont get it , if im out with friends i think they dont want me there, i generally feel if one thing goes wrong then everything else is gonna go wrong too,... I feel so negative all the time and i just dont want to be the person who slips into slight depression because of this negative thinking/outlook , which i have done before..
I would love a positive outlook on life has anyone read any good positive thinking books or listened to any good dvd's on this ?

RedXIV

Believe it or believe it not, the closest thing i've come across to a self help book regarding this issue was The Game by Neil Strauss. It's the fabled one that guys think will make them instantly attractive to women but he does go into some ideas of self improvement that MIGHT benefit you.

Ideas such as BELIEVING that you are popular, You have friends so by the cold rules of logic, you are popular. It's a proven fact so keep telling yourself that.

You apply for a job, they granted you an interview. That means they WANT to hire you, all you have to do is make a good impression.

Hope this is a small help OP

Red

heavyheart

Any help or advice is appreciated thanks red

Pen1987

I've never read a book on positive thinking but I will say this.

People in general want to help each other. Its basic instinct. Do you think if someone normal who had the time would ever not give someone else the time if they were asked for it? That is the most basic example I can give to something which goes for issues as small as looking for the time to something as big as applying for a job, and bigger.

If you're going for a job before you go for the interview you need to think about from the perpective of the possible future employer. They need somebody to do this job otherwise they wouldnt be offering the position, the quicker they fill in this position with somebody the easier their life will be, less work for them right? because you'll be their to help them, they want to give you this job, otherwise they would not have offered you the interview in the first place because it would of been a waste of their time. Right? So go into situations thinking that the person youre about to interact with wants to help you... because when it boils down to it, they do. Everybody wants to improve their own situation, to do this they need others to help and others need their help, its a circular theory. Go in to the interaction, the interview or the conversation thinking "how can I help this person give me the job?" "how can help this person have a bit of craic, how can I improve their day?"... the more you embody this attitude the more people will want to be around you and the more help you will get from others. Relaxed confidence.

moco

Try The Secret. I started reading it last night and it seems great so far. too early to tell if any of the stuff in it works yet though!

How Strange

For most people a positive frame of mind takes work. Every time you feel negative thoughts sneaking in you have to block them. I read this great trick for dealing with negative thoughts - imagine you're standing on a ship and every time you have a negative thought you have to throw it overboard.
It may take a few times before it starts to work but it is a good exercise.

Also, try telling yourself you're worth it, that you're a good, kind person who deserves good things to happen to them. And believe it when you say it. Again you may have to repeat it over and over again at the beginning but just like negativity, positive affirmations can stick if you believe what you're saying.

heavyheart

How Strange wrote: »

For most people a positive frame of mind takes work. Every time you feel negative thoughts sneaking in you have to block them. I read this great trick for dealing with negative thoughts - imagine you're standing on a ship and every time you have a negative thought you have to throw it overboard.
It may take a few times before it starts to work but it is a good exercise.

Also, try telling yourself you're worth it, that you're a good, kind person who deserves good things to happen to them. And believe it when you say it. Again you may have to repeat it over and over again at the beginning but just like negativity, positive affirmations can stick if you believe what you're saying.

At lunchtime i went out and got the book called the secret and ive managed to get through 40 pages of it on my lunch break.
It basically reinforces everything you have said there , so bye bye negative thoughts and all good things come to me !

July

Hi Heavyheart, well done for embracing positivity.

Maybe you should set up a new account and have a username like 'Sunburst' or something cos Heavyheart doesn't sit well with your new outlook!

DenMan

Best things is to try and be positive. I know personally from going for job interviews over the years (and not getting them). I think finding what is best for you is paramount. Maybe you in the wrong job and are secretly looking for a career change? That is what is happening to me now. Taken the big decision and going back to Uni in Sept. I know what I want to do and am taking the right steps in accomplishing that goal.

Best thing is to take small steps forward instead of leaping by taking huge strides. Another thing could be useful, reward yourself every so often. If you had a good day then do something to show that. Whatever you feel is appropriate. I found this book very good. Here is the link. The Dalai Lama.

http://www.amazon.com/Art-Happiness-Handbook-Living/dp/1573221112/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213196554&sr=1-1

Change your user name once you are ready. Peace.

heavyheart

July wrote: »

Hi Heavyheart, well done for embracing positivity.

Maybe you should set up a new account and have a username like 'Sunburst' or something cos Heavyheart doesn't sit well with your new outlook!

LOL i didnt think that one through when i chose the name ha ha but now maybe ill keep the heavy heart cause its heavy with positivity ha ha

__plec__

hey,well done on buying the secret,good book,would recommend buying the dvd too,if i feel a bit negative il just play it in the background and it lifts me.
Another book i found helpful is a book by richard carlson called 'stop thinking, start living'.its an easy book to read but very useful

Best of luck with the positivity

bennyblanco

Hi heavyheart,don't worry you can turn it around.
I found this stuff helped me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY.
I also sometimes look at these http://www.mastersinthemaking.com/articles/upliftingaffirmations.shtml

Hope they help,good luck

Kooli

I think a great book is 'The Feeling Good Handbook' by David Burns (I think...)

It is based on CBT and focuses a lot on thinking errors we all use that help to maintain negative beliefs about ourselves and our futures. By addressing these thinking errors you then start to get a more BALANCED picture of yourself.

The BALANCED part is what's important. It's not about 'positive thinking' because I don't think going around telling yourself "I am a wonderful person, everyone loves me, everything I try will be a success" makes anyone feel better, because the fact is that when you feel that way you don't BELIEVE those statements. They don't sit right with you so they don't make you feel any better.

So it's about getting an accurate and balanced picture of yourself by noticing the way you think (e.g. jumping to conclusions, mind reading, 'should' statements, overgeneralisations), and how these ways of thinking have given you a skewed and untrue picture of yourself. So then you can begin to build a fairer and truer self-image.

Good luck!!

m83

I checked out the Secret before but found it a bit culty so strayed away. It may be innocent but it's just not for me.

I'll say this OP, find what makes you happy and don't care about what anybody else thinks of that.

Somethings I've done lately to make my life more positive....

sponsored a child with world vision

started volunteering by teaching older people IT

signed up for a 10km race.


Life is what you make it OP, don't sit around waiting for it to be amazing all by itself.

quietobserver

heavyheart wrote: »

I feel like sometimes i always expect the worse, if i go for a job ill convince myself i wont get it , if im out with friends i think they dont want me there, i generally feel if one thing goes wrong then everything else is gonna go wrong too,... I feel so negative all the time and i just dont want to be the person who slips into slight depression because of this negative thinking/outlook , which i have done before..
I would love a positive outlook on life has anyone read any good positive thinking books or listened to any good dvd's on this ?

the alchemist i find is a good book to maybe direct you towards what you want rather than what you dont want, its a parable so you can take from it what you want.

the secret is good but i think it also depends on your frame of mind as you read it as to what you take from it.

the four agreements is also good and encourages you to concentrate on four areas and make improvements to your life through this.

at the end of the day, you create your own reality, what you dream will become your reality unless you choose to make it otherwise.

hope its of help.

LegacyUser

hi ive done alot of work on retraining my brain to be more positive-i had a nervous breakdown when i was 21 and was depressed -but i refused to go on anti depressants and i knew if my mind got me here i could get it back out-ive done alot of therapy,and read alot of self help books-cds the lot-all found them incredibly inspirational and helped alot...

im totally free minded now and so much more positive so here is what i did to move out of the negativity bearing in mind everyone is different.... my depression was because of issues in my child hood so i needed to allow those old repressed feelings to emerge-deal with them by feeling the extent of the pain and learning to let them old feelings go

something i learned is that we are not our minds or our thoughts we are our feelings... how you feel inside determines what thoughts you think so if you feel down inside that produces down thoughts... you have to discover ther root of the cause,the hurt, so you can understand it and let it go....nobody is thought to just be with the experience you are feeling right now,that tells you everything you need to know... depression can lead to huge enlightenment,it did for me i discovered myself in the midst of my pain....the books i have used are louise hays you can heal your life- also cheak out the radio station for the top life coaches in america and to me in the world-straight from l.a www.hayhouseradio.com look out for wayne dyer as i am female we may have different tastes and he is a man with great techniques...

but i just completed the most amazing webinar that oprah did across the world-we all tuned in at the same time and did an hour each week with her and eckhart tolle-his book a new earth-has inspired me beyond what i ever thought i could ever comprehend...its completly free and the webinar was amazing and can be re watched here...http://www.oprah.com/obc_classic/webevent_registration.html

i know i might sound like a new age hippy or something-but i found a way to completly heal and thats all that really matters to me... im 30 now with my whole life ahead of me-and the past is in the past and i am here enjoying the present moment-which reminds me of the book the power of now-also by eckhart tolle-no 1 best seller... he is really good-

sorry for long reply.....the secret i have been doing for a year now and have manifested so much because of my new thinking..... society teaches us that sucess is about money and career-but it is really about how content you are in yourself... nothing else reallly matters to me-