unfaithful thoughts and online chatting

LegacyUser

hi,

I have a big problem. Im addicted to talking to girls on the net. i have a girlfriend of 4 years and i find our relationship going down the drain. I cant curb this, is sad what im doing i know. But its like im craving the idea of girls liking me or enjoying chatting to me. Also i find myself looking at girls alot and thinking of being with other girls. I need to sort this. I want to be with my girlfriend i want to make a life with her, why am i doing this? im 26 shes 25 we have been together 5.5 years. I dont know why im doing this, it probably started with boredom but now i cant get it out of my head

RedXIV

If your relationship is going down the drain then maybe you should think about whether its the right thing for you?

However if you do want to keep this going with your gf, maybe you need to disconnect your internet. Thats a bit of an extreme option, but it'd probably work.

Bar cutting the internet off, you could maybe try blocking all the sites from your connection and asking a mate to set up a password to prevent yourself unblocking them.

Cmol

I guess everybody wants to think that they've still 'got it' even when their in a long term relationships and talking to girls over the internet is your way of validating that you are still attractive to other females... even if it is relatively anonymously. <--- I should point out I'm not condoning anything here!!!

If you think its boredom, you need to try and figure out where that boredom stems from... are you on these sites at work or at home? Is it your girlfriend your bored with or your job or even social life or lack of?

Try to keep yourself busy whenever you want to go on the site's and see if the 'craving' to go on them go away... I think once you figure out where the boredom is coming from, you'll have a better idea of what you want to do about it..

akamossy

I wouldn't like the idea of my boyfriend flirting with other women on the net. And i don't think she would either, you have two choices, break up with her and keep your net thing going.. or forget the internet and make an actual go of it with your gf. To be together that long there must be something there so why not work on it or at least tell her how you feel. I don't think going behind her back is helping at all.

star-pants

You need to address your addiction to talking to other girls online etc,
do you spend a LOT of time doing so? You need to try and stop, maybe find other activities, spend time with friends, join a club.
You also need (when you've other girls out of your head) to think about your current relationship, if you're thinking about other women and flirting with them all the time, then perhaps your relationship isn't what it used to be.

If you feel it's worth fighting for then try - talk to her, sort it out, find out what's gone missing. It's not fair on her if you're just 'keeping up appearances' if you don't want to be with her.

You need to think long and hard about what you want

rohe

weakman wrote: »

hi,

I have a big problem. Im addicted to talking to girls on the net. i have a girlfriend of 4 years and i find our relationship going down the drain. I cant curb this, is sad what im doing i know. But its like im craving the idea of girls liking me or enjoying chatting to me. Also i find myself looking at girls alot and thinking of being with other girls. I need to sort this. I want to be with my girlfriend i want to make a life with her, why am i doing this? im 26 shes 25 we have been together 5.5 years. I dont know why im doing this, it probably started with boredom but now i cant get it out of my head

How would your gf feel if she knew that you were on the internet chatting to other women???
She would be devestated and thats speaking from personnel experience as my bf has done this to me several times, and it was horrible and i lost most of my trust with him

You need to ask yourself do you deep down in your heart do you want to be with your gf because by the sounds of it you dont, snd if thats the case you should be honest with your gf and let her go and find someone else

tbh boredom is no excuse either

Sherifu

weakman wrote: »

I dont know why im doing this, it probably started with boredom but now i cant get it out of my head

In fairness, if you don't know I don't think anyone here can guess. Boredom is a lame excuse.

Kazobel

weakman wrote: »

hi,

I have a big problem. Im addicted to talking to girls on the net. i have a girlfriend of 4 years and i find our relationship going down the drain. I cant curb this, is sad what im doing i know. But its like im craving the idea of girls liking me or enjoying chatting to me. Also i find myself looking at girls alot and thinking of being with other girls. I need to sort this. I want to be with my girlfriend i want to make a life with her, why am i doing this? im 26 shes 25 we have been together 5.5 years. I dont know why im doing this, it probably started with boredom but now i cant get it out of my head

This is easy to solve, blaming it on addiction, boredom etc are all just out's for you, that's it outs and you use them to justify your actions so here's how to get it out of your head:

1: Admit it to your girlfriend, if you really wanna make a life with her that shouldn't be a problem

2: If you want to continue then tell her she should do the same with random guys on the internet.

3: See how you feel when the tables are turned because I bet the day you are caught and your relationship goes tits up you'll be on here crying because she found someone else and guess what, that's how she's going to feel when she finds out so be a man and give her a fair chance, let her have the same options to be as secretive and you be in a position to lose her and then come on here and imply that addiction or boredom are good excuses.

I hate these "I love her/him but..." threads, you either do or you don't, simple as, love isn't conditional, relationships aren't conditional. If you can't commit then let the girl go to find someone who can instead of wasting the next 3 years of her life just because it makes you feel better until you find someone else. There's nothing worse than a person that fakes a relationship until something else comes along and then ditches that person they were faking love too because "Hell I have someone else so I'm OK" meanwhile devastating someone they claimed to love and taking a certain amount of pleasure in that devastation because the longer it lasts the more it'll feed your ego won't it? but I bet you won't :

1. tell her (because then she might find someone else before you do and you don't want that do you because that'd hurt)

and

2. Stop, because again it feeds your ego and thats all you care about really isn't it?

Grow up and stop making up excuses, do the girl a favour and either commit or leave her but do one or the other. I'm sure this isn't what she signed up for 4 years ago...

Sprouts

Nail on the head there Kazobel, great post.

Kazobel

Unfortunately with alot of these posts Sprouts it doesn't matter how many nail's you hit on the head you may as well be only banging with a rubber hammer.